Dear Snarky – Is It Wrong to Keep My Super Bowl Party Chiefs Fans Only?

4 Comments

Dear Snarky,

I’m so mad right now when I should be in a great mood. Finally, after 50 years, the Kansas City Chiefs are going to the Super Bowl. I have been a loyal Chiefs fan since the day I was born. I’m so flipping excited about the Chiefs being in the Super Bowl that my husband and I are throwing a major party.

 I invited all of our friends who love the Chiefs as much as we do. My problem is I have a friend who I like except when it comes to football. She’s a huge Patriots fan and hates the Chiefs. She is so obnoxious about it and trash talks the Chiefs all the time. 

 Because of this I didn’t invite her to my Super Bowl party and now she’s pissed and getting our friends to constantly bug me to invite her to the party.

 I really don’t want to listen to her mouth the entire game but I’m getting worn down by all the texts and phone calls. Do you think I’m right to stick with my original decision to not invite her?

 Signed, Keeping My Home for Mahomies

Dear Mahomies,

 When your beloved football team that you’ve rooted for since birth heads to the Super Bowl you are perfectly within your rights to not invite someone who enjoys disparaging your team to your home for a Super Bowl party.

 I would have a conversation with this woman pronto and just tell her straight up that she wasn’t invited because she has enthusiastically and repeatedly stated that she hates the Chiefs so why in the world would she think that you would extend an invitation to her for a C-H-I-E-F-S Super Bowl party?

 Furthermore, the fact that she’s being a self-involved moron and harassing your friend group for an invite makes me think that you might want to reconsider her as a friend – just saying. At the very least she should get an unsportsmanlike conduct call. 

 Also, if you take the football team rivalry totally out of the equation you still have a grown woman with horrible manners and social skills. You never impinge about your friends to harass another friend for an invite to a party. Period. 

 My advice is to not make any changes to your guest list. You have every right to keep your house a Mahomie only zone.  

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com. 😉

 

Why Can’t Women Just Be the Boss and Other Reflections on the Word Bossy

7 Comments

People I’m worried. I’m not feeling this new year. And by not feeling I mean it’s making me angry. Loyal readers might be shaking their heads and saying, “Umm didn’t you just have a sizable rant-a-thon last week?”

To that question I answer a resounding yes. But it appears that perhaps 2020 is the year of the rant. To be honest this makes me a little bit excited because I feel likes it plays to my strong suit – aggressive pontificating. My family calls it complaining but that just shows their lack of appreciation for my oratorical gifts. All they hear is blah, blah, blah. Their loss, I assure you.

This latest rant was born at Target on a Sunday afternoon. There I was blissfully walking the aisles taking in the clearance wares when I spied a hot pinkish water bottle geared towards girls decorated with the phrase, “I’m not bossy I am the boss.”

Really? What is it with the female gender being tied to the word bossy? I must confess I was already sensitive because upon entering Target I saw a woman in a T-shirt declaring herself a “Boss Babe.” Just yuck on that and now let me break it down why all this bossy stuff ticks me off.

It’s because I believe the word bossy is almost always applied to females and it’s used as a pejorative. Almost, a substitute, if you will, for the other B word. Never, as in almost never ever, do I hear a male being called bossy.

Even boys get a bossy pass. We call them “determined” or “single minded.” But girls well, they’re bossy. I admit to being guilty of this as well. I can’t remember calling my son “bossy,” but I told my daughter she was a “bossy boots” a lot.

It wasn’t until she was about six years old when she asked me why I just called her “bossy boots” and not her brother? She felt like “bossy boots” was a bit of a slight and you know what? She was right.

It took a parent/teacher conference for me to have a larger awakening. It happened when a teacher told me my daughter was bossy. This same teacher had just described my son (who is as bossy as his sister, perhaps even more so) as “commanding.” This made me literally laugh out loud.

I asked her if she thought both of my children were equally bossy. She quickly replied, “yes” while laughing with me. I then then asked why did she call my daughter bossy and yet my son got commanding? One word sounds like a compliment the other not so much.

The teacher admitted she didn’t know why and then said apologetically that she always thought of assertive girls as bossy.

I couldn’t get mad at the teacher because I had done the same thing. But, from that day on I eliminated the word bossy from my vocabulary.

Then, just a couple of a years later “Girl Boss” and “Lady Boss” became a part of the lexicon. This infuriated me. Why can’t you just be the boss – no gender attached? We don’t typically call men “Dude Boss “or “Guy Boss.”

And for the love of equality why is there the phrase “Boss Babe?” Plus, if you’re wearing an article of clothing that proclaims you as a “Boss Babe” perhaps you should reconsider your choice of attire until men wearing “Boss Beefcake” shirts become part of the fashion landscape.

As we dive into 2020, I think the using the word bossy to describe confident females needs to get drop kicked right out of this new decade. The word has reached its expiration date.

Postscript – Today when I was scrolling through my Facebook feed I saw a national all female organization refer to a member who just got a substantial city building contract as a “Builder Babe.”  Sigh.

We Need to Cut Back On All the “Be Happy” B.S.

6 Comments

We’re one week into 2020 and I’m already at full rant, like Defcon 1 rant.

I tried to tamp this rant down, but it just made it worse like when you squeeze yourself into shape wear in an attempt to tame your stomach bulge and all the mighty Lycra does it take your flab and relocate it as back fat or, my personal favorite, reimagines it as a “companion boob.”

This is when the shape wear pushes your love handles up to create a smoother stomach region but, in the process, a secondary lower chest area is constructed. Basically, not a look anyone is going for – ever.

My rant, like my abs or lack thereof, could not be vanquished. As much as I tried to suppress and compress it the rant tenaciously had a hold on me. The only solution is, I think, to let it out. So, here goes and I’m beginning with this prelude rant.

Can we stop with all the rebranding of New Year’s slogans? Remember the “Do something you’re afraid of” catch phrase from five years ago? This one gave birth to books, planner and calendars all urging us to do something we’re afraid of everyday and then journal obsessively about it

For 2020 this has been refreshed as “Be brave enough to suck at something.”

Who are the people writing this stuff and what kind of life (and level of hubris) do they have where they aren’t concurrently sucking and being afraid of what they’re doing on an hourly basis?

For instance, as a mother to teenagers I was “brave enough to suck” at parenting every, single, day. It wasn’t a lifestyle choice either. It was survival.

I sucked at the big stuff and little stuff like being the mom that let my kids wear shorts to school when it was 15 degrees out. Why? Because I picked my battles and if they wanted to experience the harsh reality of chapped thighs so be it.

My main rant is all the new decade happiness hoopla from “how to be happy every day” to “eternal happiness.” This is total nonsense and 100 percent unattainable and unsustainable.

You can’t be happy all the time. There are times in your life when you will be unhappy, very unhappy. As a human you have to learn to sit with disappointment and sadness, even wallow in it and then come out the other side. (Note – I’m talking about general happiness. I’m in no way addressing the mental health issue of depression.)

Being unhappy isn’t a character defect it’s a feeling we all have and have to learn to manage. I can’t begin to imagine the pressure someone is putting on themselves (and everyone else around them) by thinking they have to or deserve to be happy every day. It’s not going to happen and that’s okay.

Starting last week my social media feeds became resplendent with posts about “Ichigo Ichie” which is described as a “Japanese practice of finding happiness.” One of the tenets that everyone is commenting on is “making every day a special occasion or celebration.”

Can I just say noooooo! This is a recipe for unhappiness. Again, think of the pressure this puts on you especially if you’re a parent to become your kids master of ceremonies of super duper daily happiness.

It’s essentially a call to action for every mom to redouble her efforts to make sure her children’s every waking moments are magical and Insta worthy.

In my parenting tenure I’ve seen school lunches go from here’s a turkey sandwich in a Glad Ziploc bag to Bento box lunches that are works of art. Cinderella’s castle made out of imported cheese and organic tofu anyone?

Birthday parties have morphed from a Costco sheet cake and a bounce house in the back yard to limousine rides to a salon for mini makeovers because when you hit eight years old you need a facial – stat.

Wouldn’t a better new decade mantra be everyday isn’t going to be special so except it and move on? Why aren’t we espousing the value of the building block of happiness – resilience? Because I don’t think you can achieve or sustain happiness without that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Snarky – Something Smells About My Dad’s New Wife

3 Comments

Dear Snarky,

I smell a rat and it’s my dad’s new wife. Apparently, she has a “severe scent allergy.” She says she is hypersensitive to certain smells that can cause a reaction that could send her to the hospital.

Before the Christmas holidays she group texted the entire family about how we would need to clear our houses of any scents that would quote “trigger” her. It was a pretty long list that included no air fresheners, no plug-in room fresheners, no scented candles or soap including even dish soap. We also couldn’t wear any scented body lotions, perfume or hair care products around her.

My sister and I thought her list was ludicrous. If you’re that sensitive to smells how do you leave the house because everywhere you go there’s someone wearing something scented.

But because we didn’t want to upset our dad we followed her list which was a huge pain in the ass and yet his wife still had a reaction at my sister’s house on Christmas and she had to leave because she said she could “smell balsam and it felt like her throat was closing.” Talk about drama.

Imagine my surprise when I saw her at a Bath and Bodyworks store on New Year’s Day shopping their big sale with a bag loaded up with scented products from candles to body lotion. I didn’t confront her, but I took a video of her shopping and texted it in the family group message.

Now, my dad is angry at me and his lying new wife is saying she just put a gel in her nose that allowed her to go into the store and my dad is totally buying this.

Is there any way to get him to acknowledge that his wife is a huge liar? And if she’s lying about this imagine what else she is making up?

Signed, Something Smells Off

Dear Off,

Let’s examine the facts. One, your new stepmother is indeed a liar. I’m no doctor but I am a fan of Bath and Body Works and I know if you had a severe scent sensitivity this emporium of smells from wild lime and gardenia to Jasmine and Frankincense would not be a nasal safe space.

I also consulted an allergist and there is no nose gel that would enable a person with such an allergy to plunge themselves into that level of scent utopia and not have a reaction.

This means that your father’s wife is seeking to control the family dynamics and draw attention to herself with these alleged scent issues. Sadly, there is nothing you can do to get your dad to wake up and smell the crazy.

If this ever does happen and it might not, he’s going to have to have his own awakening. No amount of family pressure will make him change his mind. In fact, it could cause him to cleave to this woman longer. You know the whole us against the world dynamic.

I would strive to keep an amicable relationship with your dad while telling his wife that you will no longer be purging your home of scents for her visits. (#UseThatNoseGel)

I also suggest that the fact that you would like to purge her from your family should be kept on the down low – at least for now.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com. 😉

 

 

 

 

Happy 2020!

2 Comments

It’s New Year’s Day and this just isn’t any New Year it’s the start of a new decade. So cue all the stories and lists about how to make this next decade “the best ever.”

If you’re a journalist assigned to do a story on New Year’s resolutions your first wish for 2020 is not to get this assignment. The reason is because there’s really no inventive way to do a “refresh” or update this topic. It’s more recycling than any actual reporting.

This is mainly because the top resolutions never change. Coming in at number one is always weight loss and health. Number two is usually money – making more and spending less. Next up is de-stressing and getting more enjoyment from life and rounding out the resolution parade is looking younger which is now politely called anti-aging or “being the best you.”

This one always makes me roll my eyes to the back of my head. Isn’t aging a good thing? It means you’re still here. I’m also very discouraged about how almost every magazine that caters to a female audience has pounced on the anti-aging bandwagon.

The day Southern Living, the magazine I was raised on, started doing stories on hair styles that take 10 years off your face I felt betrayed. This is a magazine that is supposed to share recipes with a focus on pecans and genteel home décor.

It was my safe space where I didn’t have to read articles that either scared me or made my feel bad about my body from head to toe with features on diminishing hair follicles to the bunion crisis.

Southern Living is where I learned the proper way to monogram my table linens so imagine my sense of deception when they started doings stories on retinol based face creams. It was blasphemy plain and simple.

Trust me, if you’re bringing a stellar King Ranch casserole from a Southern Living recipe to a party no one cares how young you look. Primarily because everybody’s going to love you and no one’s going to be looking at your face because all eyes are on that casserole.

Worse than feeling like your magazine bestie has let you down is being interrupted while writing a New Year’s resolution story by people asking you what your resolutions are. I hate asking that questions and I hate answering it.

Besides my list is lame. Don’t believe me? Well, then here it is.

 My favorite resolution is to intensify my love affair with my pets. There’s nothing like being an almost empty nest to make your pets the center of your world.

True story – during the last snowstorm my husband and I lovingly stared out our French doors and got all the warm and fuzzy feels watching our dogs play in the snow. I turned to my husband and confessed, “These dogs might be better than our kids.”

My husband, always the gentle diplomat, didn’t readily agree with me but I know he probably was thinking the same thing. Come on, it’s all the love and none of the drama. That’s hard to compete with.

Another resolution is to continue my Goldilocks like pursuit of finding the perfect red lipstick. Don’t scoff. This has been a 30 year mission that has to date alluded me. Red lipsticks either have too much blue or orange undertones thus making even the whitest teeth look like canned corn niblets.

My final 2020 pledge is to touch my toes. Yep, you read that right. In my entire life I have never been able to touch my toes. This is finally going to be the year.

I hope your 2020 resolution list is just as profound.

Dear Snarky – My Cousin Went on Facebook and Posted Lies About Our Family

5 Comments

Dear Snarky,

My family has recently been devastated by a family member. After what I thought was a very nice Thanksgiving that included 31 members of our family from a great grandmother to nieces and nephews my cousin went on Facebook and wrote a disgusting post about how awful our family is.

She went off on just about everybody including kids. In my case she used my name and my kids’ names and said that I was a “mean girl raising mean girls.”

As if that wasn’t bad enough her post got a lot of likes and sad faces and even my high school math teacher from way back in the day gave it a sad face.

It has taken everything I have not to go on Facebook and comment and defend my family. I want too so bad. I’ve been going back and forth over what to do because it feels wrong to let her say these things without my family defending themselves especially when it comes to the kids.

Signed, Furious

Dear Furious,

To begin let me congratulate you on not losing your mind as soon as your cousin posted about your kids on social media. That took major self-control.

Now let me also share that my advice is going to be skewed because I don’t know anything about your family. You could be the best family in the world or horrible. I’m going to go with that your family is average. This means flawed with a crazy member or two or three.

My recommendation is that you do your family due diligence and get some relatives to meet with this cousin and try to decipher what’s hurting her because her Facebook post could be a cry for help.

After that is done I would let your cousin knew that writing about anyone’s child on social media is basically game over for your relationship.

I would then be prepared for your cousin to go back on social media and post some long, rambling diatribe about how her family tried to silence her. Because here’s the deal – your cousin craves attention, Facebook provides it. She’s probably not going to stop posting.

You also need to realize those likes and sad faces she’s getting are because when people see train wrecks on social media they feel uncomfortable so the easiest thing to do is the sad face.

Don’t fall into her social media pit of cray cray. You need to block her and move on. I’m going to say that again – BLOCK AND MOVE ON. You’re not going to stop her and to engage with her on Facebook is just going to create more fireworks.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com. 😉

Christmas Tree Crisis “BEARly” Averted

2 Comments

I put my Christmas tree up earlier this month and it only took almost an e-n-t-i-r-e day. Yep, from sun up to sun down I was messing with that tree. I have no one to blame but myself and my mother. Oh, yes most definitely my mother. The woman was a virtuoso with Christmas trees.

As a floral designer she would decorate people’s homes for the holidays and my Texas mother had a go big or go home rallying cry as her Christmas tree adornment strategy. Basically, if you could still see pine needles you’re doing it wrong.

Her trees were abundantly decked out and she prided herself on everything from light placement – white lights only and those bad boys better be fastidiously wrapped around the tree trunk and then worked through the branches to give the effect of a “gossamer fairy woodlands” to ornaments that should only be attached to the tree with a velvet or satin ribbon.

Showing my mom an aluminum ornament hanger was like throwing garlic at a vampire – sheer horror.

Because I am my mother’s daughter I have tried to live up to her tree décor standards. This means I’m a Christmas tree control freak that has managed to take the fun out of decorating the tree for probably a good 20 years.

Almost every December my husband, in a brave move, tries to “reset” my Christmas tree OCD, by suggesting a new tradition. This year he gently floated the idea that we should think about getting an artificial tree.

I, being a mature woman, humored him and even consented to looking at some phony trees. This resulted in me getting weepy in the fake tree forest at Lowe’s and asking him, “Why he hated me?”

Although the small scene I created at Lowe’s was nothing compared to the Great Christmas Tree Caper of 2006. This was when my husband decided we needed to go full “Griswold” and cut down our own tree.

Back then we lived in Northern Nevada where cutting down a tree was pretty standard. All you needed was a permit from the Forest Service and a saw. Then off you trek into the mountain wilderness in a quest to find the perfect tree and hopefully not get mauled by a 600-pound black bear, which is a personal fear of mine.

My family didn’t share my bear terror. In fact, they mocked it. My son, then 10, told me as we hiked up a trail searching for the “perfect” tree that I would get eaten by a bear first because I was the slowest and “meatiest” member of the family.

I didn’t doubt this at all which heightened my anxiety that was already extremely exacerbated due to the lackluster tree selection. One would think that there would be a veritable smorgasbord of trees to chose from but the Bureau of Land Management in their infinite wisdom only let you cut down the Pinyon -nature’s least attractive pine.

Gnarly, needle challenged and lacking symmetry this tree is more of a Christmas don’t then a do. But I knew if we went through the ritual of cutting one down then I was going to be stuck with a stubby, balding tree that resembled George Constanza from “Seinfeld” for the centerpiece of my holiday decorations.

This meant there was only one thing to do – scream “BEAR” and force my family to evacuate the forest.

It worked like a charm. Panic ensued, we raced for the car, hauled back to civilization and got our tree from a nursery that specialized in majestic fresh cut Fraser Firs.

I’d like to think I made my mother proud that day.

Dear Snarky – My Sister Wore a Bridal Gown to MY Wedding

8 Comments

Dear Snarky,

 It’s official my sister is insane because she wore a wedding dress to my wedding. Let me back up a bit. She wore a wedding dress she had purchased two years ago and never got to wear because her fiancé called off the wedding.

 My crazy, sneaky sister who was my maid of honor changed out of her bridesmaid dress and into a wedding dress minutes before MY wedding started. She did this after my mom had been seated in the front pew and when my dad and I were in a back corner of the church waiting for our turn to walk down the aisle so we couldn’t see her.

 The other bridesmaids did see her and were horrified. My best friend tried to stop her from walking down the aisle but was afraid of causing a scene. So, imagine my shock when my dad and I come from the back of the church and start walking down the aisle and I see my sister at the front of the church in a wedding dress. I almost lost it.

 Thankfully, my now husband whispered in my ear not to let my sister ruin this wonderful day. So, I kept it together and focused on the positive – I was married.

 Now, I hate my sister and want nothing to do with her and her lame excuse that wearing a wedding dress to my wedding was because she didn’t want “her beautiful dress to go to waste.” My mom says family is forever and I need to “make peace with it.”

 Don’t you think I have a right to be mad and stay mad?

 Signed, Angry Bride

 P.S. My mom did make my sister change out of the wedding dress for all the photos.

 Dear Angry,

Umm no, this isn’t a situation where your mom can wave a magic happy family wand and presto everything is all rainbows and unicorns.

You have every right to be beyond angry. One of the reasons you sister did this besides being a huge, narcissistic, jealous, loser is because your mom, and I imagine other family members, have made excuses for her behavior over the years. They did your sister no favors by covering up her obvious character defects by papering over them with all that family means love B.S. Long ago they should have been  imposing some consequences and therapy, lots of therapy.

 What she did, in my opinion, was an act of family terrorism. She tried to ruin your wedding. You would be a fool and I think it would be mentally unhealthy for you to just sweep it all under the run for the sake of family harmony because what your sister did was unforgivable.

 Just because you are related to someone DOES NOT give them permission to disrespect you or be hateful to you. Family maybe forever but this doesn’t mean you have to stand for their shameful behavior.

 I suggest taking a break from your family until you’re in a better headspace and when you’re ready to reengage with them I would do so with some basic rules of human decency in place.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com. 😉

When Dateline Podcasts Mess With Your Sanity

2 Comments

Was someone trying to kill me?

I swear I’m not being melodramatic. I had proof. A white van had been following me on multiple occasions and someone was unlocking my kitchen sliding glass door when I was out of my house.

My story of  intrigue began on a gorgeous fall day in the burbs where you can be lulled into thinking “bad things don’t happen here.” It was easy to believe that, especially on this afternoon, with the sun cascading through the autumn leaves as they gently twirled and fell on verdant lawns. It was almost as if the leaves were told to be on their best behavior.

I was taking this all in as I was walking my dogs, like I do everyday, while listening to podcasts from Dateline – the true crime show that follows murder cases and features the yummy vocal styling’s of Keith Morrison.

So far Dateline had taught me that you should never ever think that your life is picture perfect or have an overly manicured yard because it means you’re just asking to experience a violent death.

Listening to these podcasts was new for me. A friend suggested that I would like them and now one week in I was hooked. The downside was they were making me at the worst paranoid and at the best a tad overly aware of my surroundings.

For instance, on my walks I had noticed a neighbor had an abundance of leaves in her yard and this was a neighbor who has a history of being very anti leaf. If this were a Dateline podcast the woman would be dead and the murder weapon would turn out to a leaf blower that caused blunt force trauma to her brain.

It turns out my neighbor was just fine and was on a cruise. But then weird stuff started happening to me. Everyday the same white van seemed to be following my dogs and I. This had me so concerned I began to walk at different times and take different routes.

As if that’s not enough to freak me out my kitchen sliding door was mysteriously going from locked to unlocked. At first, I thought I had forgotten to lock it. But then one fateful day before leaving to walk my dogs I took a picture of the locked door as proof and yet when I got home the door was unlocked.

I was scared. Do I go inside the house to investigate? Do I call the police? Do I send my beloved beagle in to do recon? I did none of the above. I did what a murder victim in a Dateline episode would do and went off to investigate.

All seemed fine but I was wary and yet knew I had to solve this mystery. The first thing I did was re-lock the door and then patrolled the house with a marble rolling pin as my weapon of choice. But when I got back to the kitchen the sliding door was unlocked – again.

Oh my God did a crazed killer just escape or was he or she toying with me? I wasn’t going to wait and find out. I got my dogs and was running for the door while calling for our cat when I saw the feline sitting on the kitchen counter while leaning over to use his paw to slide the door locking mechanism up.

Yep, my cat was the potential assailant and door unlocker (made easy by the lock being very loose). As for the white van I had to concede that since it’s the vehicle of choice for every contractor and landscape crew in the country I was most likely not being followed.

I also had to concede that I needed to quit listening to Dateline podcasts because apparently the only thing that was being murdered was my sanity.

 

Dear Snarky – I Was Left Out of the Family Holiday Photo

6 Comments

Dear Snarky,

My feelings are really hurt by my boyfriend’s family and it has me wondering how my boyfriend can be so nice and his family so mean. Last weekend his family had professional holiday photos taken for their Christmas card and I wasn’t invited to be in the photos.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost six months and it’s getting pretty serious. I’m even hoping for an engagement ring for Christmas. It feels like his family, especially his mom, went out of their way to exclude me and hurt my feelings.

I even showed up for the photos with my boyfriend as a way to offer moral support and in hopes that because I was there someone would say go ahead and get in the photos but that didn’t happen.

I feel like I deserve an apology from his family but my boyfriend says he’s not going to start an argument about this. Now, I’m wondering if I should just flat out ask his mom why she has a problem with me?

Do you think this is a good idea because I’d rather know up front what her issues are before we get married?

Signed,

Pre-Mother-in-Law Problems

Dear Problems,

Girlfriend you need so slow your roll WAY DOWN  because you’re the problem not your boyfriend’s family. First up, there should be zero, and I mean zero expectations, that a girlfriend of six months should be included in a f-a-m-i-l-y holiday card photo.

Also, you showing up for the photo to give your boyfriend “moral” support is ridiculous. Trust me every single family member saw through that ploy to get yourself included in the holiday card. I’m sure the side eye you were getting that day was epic.

I urge you to forget about demanding an apology or confronting your boyfriend’s mother. You do not want to go there primarily because you’re the one at fault.

If you want any chance for this relationship to make it to the new year you need to lower your expectations and that includes what I think is very wishful thinking that you’re getting an engagement ring for Christmas. My vast experience in personal relationships is telling me that’s not going to happen and you need to right now start adjusting to this reality so you don’t ruin Christmas for his family and yours.