Dear Snarky – My Grandmother Ruined My Wedding Gown Shopping

Dear Snarky,

I’m getting married next year and my grandmother told me she wants to buy my bridal gown for me. My mom and I were surprised because my grandmother is what my mom calls “tight with money. But I was thrilled she wanted to do that for me. 

When we went shopping last weekend it was a disaster. She hated every dress I tried on and at times she was downright hateful. She not only criticized the dresses, loudly calling one “something a street walker would wear” and another dress I loved “whorish” but she also made some very negative comments about my body. 

What was supposed to be a happy event, an event I had dreamed of since I was a little girl watching “Say Yes to the Dress” turned out to be horrible and embarrassing. At one point I even broke down in tears. 

Now I don’t know what to do because my grandmother says she’s not buying a dress she doesn’t approve of, but I don’t want to go into another bridal shop with her. Do you have a clever suggestion on how I can get around my grandmother?

Signed, Crying Bride

Dear Crying Bride,

Here’s the simplest and best solution. You’re not going to have your grandmother buy your dress. I don’t care how much money this is saving you it’s not worth it in the emotional turmoil department. 

Your grandmother sounds like a piece of work. She also sounds like a woman who’s pretty mean spirited and a woman who crossed a line when started making comments about your body – her granddaughter.

And here’s a spoiler alert for you – I don’t think your “tight with money” grandma is going to like any dress because I honestly believe that she never attends to buy you one. I think she made the offer so she could be included in some of the festivities and make herself the center of attention. Because the behavior you described certainly sounds like she was the focus of the bridal gown shopping not you the actual bride.

I suggest buying your own dress. Tell your grandma that you found a dress you loved so much that you immediately had to have it so you bought it for yourself. This way you can be free from the tyranny of this grinch of a grandmother.

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