I’m in a thought cycle where three random tidbits won’t stop swirling in my brain. It’s annoying and even worse the more these thoughts swirl the more I fear they’re making grooves in my prefrontal cortex. Grooves that mean I’ll be stuck in some kind of thought hell where this will be all I’m able to think about.
Granted, there’s a small upside. If this does indeed happen for the first time in decades I won’t have to think about what I’m making for dinner. You know what no one tells you? That when you get married and have kids the question you’ll get asked the most is what’s for dinner?
But enough about that and just in case you’re wondering what’s for dinner tonight I have no idea. This is because I have bigger things to ponder like liberating the aforementioned tidbits from my brain.
In an attempt to make this happen I’m going to share them with you and hopefully releasing these thoughts into the cosmos will free them from etching anymore grooves in my prefrontal cortex.
Just to be clear I don’t know if that’s how the brain works. I realize I’m describing more of how a record album is pressed with the whole etching of grooves. So please note that nothing I ever say should be mistaken for science or really anything that requires a mastery beyond 10th grade biology.
Now that I have that disclaimer out of the way let’s get into releasing those tidbits starting with hugging.
Why does everyone hug now? You could have the briefest of chit chats with a former co-worker from ten years ago and it finishes with a hug. Or you see an acquaintance in the grocery store cereal aisle and it’s hug time right there by the Cap’n Crunch.
As a non-hugger this disturbs me. It’s not that I’m not friendly, I’m just not a hugger. I’ve literally had to train myself to accept hugs. Did being deprived of hugging during the pandemic turn us into super huggers? I don’t know but I’m telling you the handshake is out and the hug is in.
Moving on, have you ever thought about what kind of TV shows will be played at your assisted living facility when you’re really old? I have because the last one I visited (just to be clear it was as a guest not a resident) was showing the TV western Bonanza in its “living room.”
I think that when my age group starts residing in assisted living the TV shows on a continuous loop will probably be all The Real Housewives programs from yesteryear. I can see myself with my fellow elderly divas shouting at the TV and calling the housewives names that cannot be shared in print while cackling.
This brings me to the third tidbit whirling around in my brain like a pinball powered by a nuclear reactor. Have you noticed that as you age your laugh changes? I’m now segueing into being a cackler. It’s a robust cackle but still it’s a little unsettling.
I went from a hearty guffaw to sounding like a cross between Cruella de Vil and Ursula from The Little Mermaid.
It’s a lot to think about isn’t it? But now that I’ve shared these thoughts with you I feel better. It’s like I’ve handed them off and now the whirring sound in my head seems to be subsiding.
Thank you and my apologies for implanting my perhaps nonsensical thoughts into your brain. But are they nonsensical because really people why all the hugging?
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Breaking NEWS!!!! Four Seasons of Snarky is now an Audiobook! You can listen on Audible, iTunes and Amazon. 🎧 🎧 🎧
Crazy is always in season, especially when you live in the burbs. 🏡
Epic yard wars (Because it’s always a good day when you call tell the HOA to suck it.), a PTA take down (Spoiler alert – lice is a great way to clear a room), bizarre goings on at a Parents Day Out program, Little League intrigue (Apparently, you don’t know real power until you become “Commissioner” of your local Little League.), a tale of Vacation Bible School taking an, ahem, rather unfortunate turn, how to get kicked out of the Junior League (It was harder than you might think), a science fair stalker and turning Christmas inflatables into a revenge plot
All this and more are in Four Seasons of Snarky featuring some of the greatest hits from Snarky in the Suburbs. Where schemes, payback, and retribution scenarios all tell the tale of a woman who will admit she might be crazy, but you know in a good way. Click to hear an excerpt!
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Snarky in the Suburbs 