Dear Snarky,
I’m freaking out! I recently got married and I just got a bill from our wedding planner for $3,500. I’m shocked because the wedding planner is my husband’s cousin and my now mother-in-law told me in front of my husband and mother that she would pay for the cousin to be our wedding planner.
The cousin has a successful business as a wedding planner, and she did a wonderful job. I feel like my wedding was flawless. But I’m stunned at the bill. Even though it says she gave me a family discount and took 25% off the bill.
When I called her and said my mother-in-law was paying her bill she acted surprised and said her aunt, my mother in law, never told her she would be paying the bill and actually said that I would be covering it.
I feel like my mother-in-law is throwing me under the bus. I don’t have $3,500 and if I had known that’s what my husband’s cousin was going to charge I probably would have gone in a different direction. How can I get out of this cluster F without things getting really messy?
Signed, Shocked
Dear Shocked,
Okay, first things first – the wedding planning cousin needs to be paid. By all accounts it sounds like she did a wonderful job and the last thing that needs to happen is that she gets ripped off.
The next thing you need to do is get your husband involved because it’s his mom. Both of you need to remind her that she said she would cover the expenses of her niece being your wedding planner.
If she balks or says she never remembers saying this then I think you have to point blank ask her if she is saying you and her son are lying? Because that is a bold claim to make and a claim that will have everlasting repercussions.
If she sticks to this narrative as in doesn’t budge an inch then well, you have your answer about how things are going to go with your MIL moving forward in your marriage. Spoiler alert the answer is not very well. As in brace for impact.
I’m not even going to go into how things should have been in writing etc. etc. It’s your fault, your mother-in-law’s fault and the wedding planner/cousin that there wasn’t a contract. Yes, I know it’s family but that’s exactly why things need to be written down so no one can back out or have a faulty memory later.
Last but not least, if your MIL isn’t going to pay the wedding planner bill and basically stiff her niece then you need to work with the cousin on a payment plan. And consider this a very expensive lesson about family.
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