For the first time in two decades, I’m not experiencing a back-to-school moment. My last child graduated college in the spring and this means August is just another month for me. There’s no buying of […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
Dear Snarky – Oops, a Former Sexting Relationship is Coming Back to Haunt Me
Dear Snarky, I think I might need to quit my job. I don’t want to because I love my job and the pay and benefits are really good but some stuff has happened that’s making […]
Come One, Come All To the Man & Dog Snoring Symphony
It had to eventually happen. My dog and my husband have joined forces to drive me crazy. I don’t know why I’m the least bit surprised by this because my family has a rich tradition of […]
Dear Snarky – I Was Gaslighted On My Vacay
Dear Snarky, Families suck! I just got back from what I thought was a great and successful vacation with my brother and his family. We aren’t that close and recently out of the blue he […]
That Time On Vacation When Your Husband Says You Look Like Paddington Bear
Vacations are fabulous but just because you’re getting some rest and relaxation doesn’t mean some harsh truths won’t work their way into your trip. During one four-hour period last week at a Lake Tahoe beach […]
Breaking Snarky News🥳
🎉BIG NEWS here in Snarky Town – the EMPTY audiobook is here!!! For those of you that have been waiting for the audiobook all I have to say is that you’re in for a treat. […]
Help Me Before I Over Pack Again!
I’m looking at a suitcase and I’m feeling a little panicked. It’s a carry-on size piece of luggage that’s fueling my anxiety. It’s also causing me to grapple with a real-life word problem. “If a […]
Shh, I’m Alone
I’m hearing a strange quiet sound in my house. It’s a little eerie because it’s been a long time since I’ve experienced an environment free of the noise of Zooms and the siren song of […]
Dear Snarky – I Think MY BFF’s Fiancé Has a Thing For Me
Dear Snarky, I’m worried about my best friend’s recent engagement. I have known the guy my friend is now engaged to since college. I always got the vibe he liked me but I never pursued […]
When Your Golf Name is “Sherry Shanks”
What year is it and what’s happening to me? Did I time travel to Texas in the 1980s? It certainly feels like it or at least it did last Saturday. This is because I found […]
Dear Snarky – My Cousin Violated Our Family Privacy for TikTok Fame
Dear Snarky, I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry at a family member. My grandparents have a lake house that the entire extended family uses so in the summer we are all together a […]
FItted Sheet Domination
Do you ever feel like you’re woefully undereducated? I’m not talking about book smarts but everyday knowledge. A kind of news you can use proficiency. I’ve recently been slightly freaked out that there’s a lot […]
Seventeen Hours at Disney World
I’ve seen the end of times. It’s Disney World in the summer. Oh, I know right now some of you are thinking, “Hey, you big idiot don’t you know better than to go to Orlando […]
Dear Snarky – My Friends Are Hating On My New Boyfriend
Dear Snarky, I’m very disappointed that my friends aren’t supporting my new relationship. I have been there for all my girlfriends during good times and bad and now when I’m so happy all I’ve been […]
I Have a Weirdo Attachment to Cars and Computers
I know a lot of people are extremely attached to inanimate objects. Just look at almost anyone’s basement. I’ve tried to purge mine, but it’s still not exactly an organizational triumph. Then there’s the […]
Dear Snarky – I Found Out My Mom Has an OnlyFans Account
Dear Snarky, My mother is ruining our family and embarrassing all of us and she doesn’t seem to care. It started a year ago when my parent’s got divorced. My mother had been depressed for […]
My Hot Girl Summer Isn’t Going Well
Before you say anything just know that I know I wrote about this topic a mere month ago. But it seems I have an obsession and it’s me staying terminally cranky about being hot. As […]
Dear Snarky – There Was Gift Card Thievery At a Grad Party
Dear Snarky, I’m in a situation that has gone from bad to worse and I need some guidance. My daughter recently had a large joint high school graduation party (it was come and go) with […]
Saying I Don’t to Expensive I Do’s
Did you know the average wedding – key word here is average – costs almost thirty grand? This means I was freaking genius when I started telling my daughter at a very early age that […]
Teachable Moments
I have never wanted to be a teacher. Mainly because I knew I had zero talent and aptitude for that very important job. Nothing brought home the accuracy of that statement like having children of my own when […]
Dear Snarky – I Was Scammed By My Maid of Honor and Her Brother
Dear Snarky, I am devastated! I got married two weeks ago and have just found out that due to a huge photographer error none of my wedding pictures came out!!! I used my maid of […]
I Have a New Book Out!
🎉Hip, hip, hooray my new book Empty has been released in ebook and paperback!!! I’m excited and also very nervous. Why am I nervous you ask? Well, it’s because this book is a departure from […]
I’ve Graduated From Having Kids in College
I’ve reached a significant parenting milestone. After eight years of having at least one child in college I’m done. That’s right – all my kids have officially graduated. The joy this brings knows no bounds. […]
Dear Snarky – My Sister Stole My Identity
Dear Snarky, I’m in shock over what my sister has done to my life. Six months ago I found out that someone had opened a bunch of credit cards (14 to be exact) in my […]
I’m a Hot Mess
I hate summer. There I said it and I don’t feel ashamed for admitting it. Yes, I’m fully aware that it’s not officially summer yet but we’ve certainly had a couple of days that felt […]
Dear Snarky – The Case of the Teacher Appreciation Gift from Hell
Dear Snarky, I’m the room parent for my son’s class and the teacher appreciation gift has turned into a fiasco. As the mother of five kids, I’ve been doing teacher gifts for a very long […]
How to Suck the Joy Out of Reading
I have a love/hate relationship with social media but one thing it’s definitely good at is mining old memories. Recently when I was scrolling through my news feed I saw something about school reading logs and […]
Dear Snarky – I’m Not a Crazy Cheer Mom!
Dear Snarky, I’m in a power struggle with my daughter’s high school. My seventeen-year-old is a gifted gymnast and cheerleader and she’s been on her high school cheer team since her freshman year. Since my […]
The Ritual of Female Body Shaming
Why do women hate themselves? I’ve asked myself this question many times over the years. This is because it doesn’t seem to matter how old I am I still find myself enduring what I’m going […]
Dear Snarky – My Mother-In-Law Subjected Me to a “Fat Intervention”
Dear Snarky, I’ve just had the most disturbing experience with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. I was in town for my sister-in-law’s baby shower and after the shower the three of us went back to my […]
Refusing to Get Agitated
Something unprecedented has happened to me. I actually have an element of Zen in my life. Okay, Zen might be overstating it just a tad, but I do find myself possessing more patience that’s topped […]
Dear Snarky – How Do I Get Out of a Family Vacation Tradition That Sucks
Dear Snarky, I’m ashamed to admit this but the pandemic had a serious upside for my husband and I and it was that we didn’t have to see his extended family. For some reason my […]
The Joy of No Longer Having a Child in High School
Currently my social media news feeds are resplendent with something called “Senior Sunday.” Just to be clear this is not a salute to grandparents or anyone eligible for Medicare. So, if you’re 65 and older […]
Dear Snarky – Our Toxic Mom Wants Us to Take Care of Her
Dear Snarky, I’m the youngest of three (I’m 40) and our mother has recently attempted to worm her way back into our lives. Since our dad divorced our mom when I was six all of […]
I Pity My Brain
Do you ever feel sorry for your brain? I do. Just think about all the worthless stuff you ponder that your brain has to process. Granted, if I was brilliant my brain would probably be […]
The Best Birthday Starts with Buttercream
I’ve just had a birthday and it was no big deal, which is exactly how I like my birthdays. A little shopping and a classic white cake with buttercream frosting that has ginormous icing roses […]
Dear Snarky – My DIL Wants My Husband & I To Pay For a Wedding “Do Over”
Dear Snarky, I need you to tell me I was within my rights as a mother-in-law about how I reacted when my daughter-in-law of almost a year reached out to my husband and I and […]
Getting Down and Dirty With Spring
It’s spring. I would say “yay spring” but all this means is that we’re in for some very special mood swings from Mother Nature. You know the drill – ski jackets one day and shorts […]
Dear Snarky – Why Duct Tape Shouldn’t Be Used for Estate Planning
Dear Snarky, My mother recently died and over the years she told us what pieces of furniture, silver etc that she would like for each of her three daughters to have. My mother was an […]
I Could Teach a Master Class in Worrying
I’m a world class worrier. That doesn’t mean I’m a half glass empty kind of gal. I consider myself an optimistic person who also believes that if you don’t plan for the worst while hoping […]
Library Love
If I want to take a deep dive into my emotional state during any time period all I need to do is look at what I was reading. For instance, during the first year of […]
Dear Snarky – Post Wedding Bridesmaid Dress Drama
Dear Snarky, My greedy bridesmaids have really hurt my feelings. I had a beautiful wedding on February 12 and because I didn’t want to be a bridezilla I paid for each bridesmaid’s dress. It was […]
Tandem Bike Trip = Marriage Buster
I’ve been married a long-ish time. I guess I could take pride in that fact if my mother hadn’t tarnished my brain with her belief that a long marriage doesn’t always equal a good marriage. […]
Dear Snarky – Is this Baby’s Name “Two” Much?
Dear Snarky, My sister just had a baby and when she told me what she wanted to name her brand-new son I offered some advice based on my years as an elementary school teacher. Their […]
How Old Am I? I’m So Old I’ve Used Traveler’s Checks 😱
I usually don’t feel old. Am I getting old? Of course, because that’s part of the human experience. But I’ve reached the point in my, ahem, life journey where I sometimes get figuratively slapped in […]
Help Me Before I DIY Again
I don’t know what you’re doing today but I’m bracing for impending doom. This is because I’m about to embark on another round of home improvement. And I’m not even doing anything that major like […]
Dear Snarky – Office Desk Drama
Dear Snarky, I think I have been the victim of wrongful disciplinary action at work. In fact, the person who was in the wrong didn’t get in trouble at all. This has left me very […]
Being “Dog Free” Sounds Like the Worst Idea Ever
I’ve always assumed that my life would include the companionship of at least one dog. That’s been the status quo for five decades so I feel like it’s a pretty safe bet. Then the other day I […]
Dear Snarky – My In-Laws Want to Live With Us
Dear Snarky, My husband has “tentatively” given his parents’ permission to move in with us. We don’t live in a large home. It’s just three bedrooms, two baths and we have two kids, two dogs, […]
Friendship With This Cookie Never Crumbles
So far 2022 hasn’t lived up to my expectations of being the best year ever. Just kidding on that whole best year thing. I’d be thrilled if 2022 was the most normal year ever or […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 