There are times in my life where I get a little wistful that I’ve never established myself as a marketing genius or really ever worked in marketing (small issue – that). But putting the whole […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
Audio Snarky
As we head into the weekend Audible was kind enough to share more codes with me so folks can download my newest audio book “Snarky in the Suburbs Back to School” for FREE. If you […]
Dear Snarky – Counting Carats
Dear Snarky, My son and his girlfriend have been dating for several years. They have talked about getting married and he has told me that she is “the one”. My son was very close with […]
Bringing the Wow Factor – The good, the bad and the ugly
I’ve had some wow moments recently. Now, just to be clear when I say wow it doesn’t always mean wow is in hip, hip, hooray but rather a wow mixed with a whoa. As in […]
Dear Snarky – Save Me from a DIsney Family Vacation
Dear Snarky, My in-laws have put together a trip to Disney World in June to celebrate some family milestones like graduating from high school and big anniversaries. The problem is that I have relatives who […]
Turf Wars
I have a problem. It’s my husband. He’s trying to usurp my position as yard guru. Now some of you might be wondering why I would consider that a “problem” and not a gift from […]
Snarky Audio Book is Out!!!
I am soooo excited my first audio book is H-E-R-E! Yes, my classic Snarky book (the very first one I wrote)”Snarky in the Suburbs Back to School” is now an audio book. Right now, it […]
Why Do Colleges Still Have Dance Teams?
Why do colleges still have dance teams? And if colleges are going to have dance teams why can’t they treat the women on those teams as athletes? I ask this question because I just finished […]
Dear Snarky – Ripped Off By a Phony Grad Party
Dear Snarky, I’m very pissed off right now. I found out that my niece who had a virtual college graduation party last May that included the extended family pooling our money to pay off some […]
Dogged Emotions
If the other members of your family aren’t jealous about how much you love your dog then maybe you need to step it up in the canine affection department. A common refrain in my family […]
Dear Snarky – Dance Team Deception
Dear Snarky, I’m writing this while shaking my head in disbelief. My sister is trying to scam a college dance team. Her child (my niece) is trying out via video (thanks COVID) for a college […]
Royally Messed Up
Blame it on pandemic brain but I’ve been weirdly intrigued with the whole Meghan Markle/Prince Harry drama. To be honest I’ve always had a thing for the British royal family. It started with Princess Diana. […]
Diving Into a Harsh Reality
Because I felt we shared so much last week I’m going to continue this trust exercise with you and go deeper on my swimsuit saga. After a total forensics review of my beloved and aged […]
Dear Snarky – My Daughter Ghosted Us Because We Didn’t Concede to her Wedding Demands
Dear Snarky, I live in Texas where all the COVID restrictions are being lifted. But based on the uncertainty of COVID my daughter last year decided to delay her wedding until April of 2022. We’ve […]
It’s Not Going Swimmingly
I’ve been putting if off for a good two years and now the end is near. It’s time for me to retire my one-piece swimsuit that I purchased when Obama was president. Now, you might […]
Stuck in a Deep Funk
I’m in a funk. An angry funk which is far worse than your average funk. That’s because an average funk can usually be remediated with some sort of dessert binge or retail therapy. My current […]
Vaccine Madness
Of all the things in my life that have tested my faith in humanity and our government the COVID vaccine rollout might be the thing that breaks me. Never in my many years on earth […]
Dear Snarky – I Broke Up With My Boyfriend Because He Sucks at Giving Gifts
Dear Snarky, I’ve just broken up with my boyfriend and now I’m having second thoughts. We started dating a year ago just before the pandemic and we really thrived when some of my friends relationships […]
In Love With Romance
Shh. I have a secret. It’s a big one. In fact, no one outside my family knows it. But due to current circumstances I finally feel safe enough to reveal what I have kept hidden […]
Living the Luxury Linen Life
I don’t know how and I don’t know why but I’ve gotten on the advertising radar of several bespoke linen companies and I’m not mad about it. In fact, it has become a rabbit hole […]
Dear Snarky – I Didn’t Make a Coronavirus Friend’s List
Dear Snarky, I’ve been played by someone I thought was a really good friend. This woman has compromised lungs so she has been careful, or so I thought, about following a really strict coronavirus quarantine. […]
Are You Saying I’m Fat?
Amidst all the pandemic drama it’s heartwarming to know that some January traditions haven’t changed. Indeed having a few things, you can count can be most reassuring. This is why when I started receiving emails, […]
Dear Snarky – I Want to Expose School Cheaters
Dear Snarky, I ‘m OUTRAGED! I’m friends with a mom who yesterday bragged to me over text that her son “aced all his AP exams.” Then she proceeded to tell me that he cheated – […]
Taking Down Christmas
As I’m writing this my Christmas tree is still up. This is an anomaly for me. My usual routine is to ring in the New Year with a house that has been restored to its […]
Dear Snarky – The Most Cringe Worthy Letters of 2020
Oh, 2020 how we all long to see you go BUH-BYE. To celebrate the impending departure of this super icky year I’m going to count down the four most cringe worthy, oh no she didn’t, […]
In the Hair There’s a Feeling of Christmas
If you want someone who will always give you the brutal, unvarnished truth, usually unsolicited – have a daughter. Last week, I was the recipient of some harsh reality tidbits from my daughter when I […]
Losing and Finding My Hallmark Holiday Movie Joy
Something was wrong in my holiday universe and I’m not talking about the coronavirus. It’s always omnipresent. But COVID-19 aside something felt off. For the first time in two decades, I just wasn’t feeling it […]
Dear Snarky – My Cousin Went Real Life Grinch On My Family’s Christmas
Dear Snarky, I don’t know if I should be writing you or calling the police because I’m sure my cousin has stolen family Christmas gifts. It all started when my cousin who lives near most […]
Warning: Decorating for Christmas Can be Hazardous to your Health
It’s over. Now all that’s left is for me to continue applying Icy Hot to my back and taking a regimen of ibuprofen so I can soon walk, perhaps even bend over, without uttering a […]
Dear Snarky – My Mom Wants Me to Evict My Sister
Dear Snarky, I have a sister and brother-in-law who are taking extreme advantage of my mom and dad. Back in April they moved into my parent’s house “briefly” with their three kids. Their reasoning for […]
Counting Steps While Going Deep on Smart Toasters
So, it’s come to this – I’m now obsessed with footsteps. Specifically, the number of steps I take every day. Yes, I know this is so early aughts the whole step counting thing. But my […]
The Pressure to Create the Perfect Pandemic Holiday in 2020
It’s bad when it’s not even Thanksgiving yet and I feel very, very, late to the Christmas party. I get it, I really do, in the third wave of a pandemic “we need a little […]
Dear Snarky – My Mother Won’t Share Thanksgiving Recipes With Me
Dear Snarky, What do you think about a mom who won’t share family recipes with her daughter? Due to the coronavirus our large family has decided to not celebrate Thanksgiving together. This means for the […]
Painted Into a Corner
One would think after recently recovering from a debilitating journey to wallpaper removal hell I would have come to the conclusion that I’m significantly challenged in all forms of home improvement. But because I suffer […]
Dear Snarky – A Greedy Daughter Is Out to Fleece Her Parents
Dear Snarky, I’m not sure you’re the right person to reach out to for advice because to be honest I only read your stuff for the laughs. It’s a little awkward to now be in […]
The Pumpkin Pie Walk of Shame
This pandemic has altered people. I, for one, have done something I vowed I would never do. I’m now a hoarder. During the early months of the pandemic I cast aspersions at people who bought […]
I Was the Problem Voter in the Family
It’s election day. If you want some keen insight on politics I’m not that person. What I do know is that I have never been more nervous about voting in my entire life. I was […]
Dear Snarky – My Sister Pretended My Baby Was Hers
Dear Snarky, I’m so angry at my sister right I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I recently had a beautiful baby girl. My sister had been devoted to my baby and that made […]
True Confessions of a Football Wife
Noooo! This can’t be happening? Hasn’t the pandemic been agony enough. Why, oh why, am I now in college football hell – again? One would think that the fact a fan can experience Big 12 […]
Wallpaper Removal is Bad for Your Mental Health
Why do the home improvement gods hate me? I have done nothing but worship on the altar of their divine greatness. I watch TV shows celebrating their prowess, read magazines with the fervor of a […]
Addicted to Grass
I have a problem. I hide things from my husband. I don’t hide anything dramatic or something that calls out for a two-part docu-series on the Investigation Discovery channel. I don’t even hide my feelings […]
Dear Snarky – Coronavirus as a Halloween Costume
Dear Snarky, I want to punch the father of my son right in the face. We share a two-year-old boy. Up to this point everything has been fine with custody and creating a loving environment […]
Zoom Meeting Personality Profiles
Back in the day I was all about “Come on and zooma, zooma, zooma-Zoom!” I was so into it I begged my mother to let me try out to be a “Zoom Kid.” My pleas […]
Hike or Murder?
You never really think it’s going to happen to you. Sure, you’ve seen movies and TV shows about it and even probably read your share of books focused on the topic. But seriously, what woman […]
Dear Snarky – My Mother-In-Law is a Serial Liar
Dear Snarky, I’ve got a big gripe about my mother-in-law. She’s a huge liar about her adult children. But she’s sneaky about it. She doesn’t come right out and lie she hints and I’m about […]
Dear Snarky – My Fiancé Keeps on Postponing Our Wedding
Dear Snarky, I’m confused what is going on with my fiancé right now. He keeps on pushing back our wedding date. We were originally scheduled to get married in February of 2021 but he wanted […]
College Drop Off in the Time of Covid
It’s not the kind of text you ever want to receive. I’m talking about the angry husband text that’s disguised as the nice husband text. The key words are, “not trying to be difficult . […]
Dear Snarky – My Sister Is Giving Thanksgiving the Bird
Dear Snarky, My sister has lost her ever loving mind. We’re already making plans for the holidays and it’s my sister’s turn to host Thanksgiving. Yesterday she sent out a family group text saying all […]
Lawn Therapy
Being erroneously told when we bought our house a decade ago that “yards here don’t need a sprinkler system” is on page 16 in my “Big Book of Complaining.” Long time readers have heard me […]
Dear Snarky – My Daughter Got Kicked Out of Her Sorority Because of Me
Dear Snarky, I’m devastated. My daughter has been kicked out of the sorority she just got into. The worst thing is it’s not her fault. It’s mine. Sorority recruitment this year was all virtual because […]
