Dear Snarky,
I’m having a huge issue with my daughter’s wedding and I need advice from a woman my age who seems a little kick assy and I think that’s you.
My daughter is getting married at the end of May and my ex-husband has just announced that he wants his new wife of a whopping 3 months, a woman I refer to as “Home Wrecker Barbie” to walk down the aisle with him when he’s walking our daughter down the aisle.
So my daughter instead of getting the traditional walk down the church aisle with her father will now be walked down the aisle in between her father and a woman who everyone in our family besides my ex husband all hate.
The final kick in the ass is that my husband told my daughter that if she didn’t agree to this he won’t finish paying for her wedding.
My daughter is a hysterical mess over this. We all know the new wife is behind it because she’s pure evil and really hateful to my daughter and she also wants to pretend that she’s the perfect wife for all the world to see and of course be the center of attention. I’m sure she’s going to wear white to the wedding.
Is there any way this can be resolved besides you telling me that my daughter should just elope?
Signed, Help!
Dear Help,
Let’s get down to business. Because the wedding is in four months I’m guessing a lot of hefty deposits have already been made. Also in checking in with my friend the wedding planner she says most vendors require payment in full before the day of the wedding.
Soooo, since the wedding will be paid for before anyone marches the down the aisle I suggest that your daughter pulls an audible and as soon as she hears the music she marches herself down the aisle. That’s right your girl just takes off and walks herself down the aisle
Her jerk of a dad and his vile new wife can just stand at the back of the church with their mouths hanging open.
The good news is the wedding is already paid for so your ex-husband’s threats of non payment will be null and void.
Now of course he or his new side piece could cause a scene but I’m thinking the new wife won’t want everyone to see that she’s hated so much that the bride, her new stepdaughter, brilliantly dissed her.
Good luck and holy hell woman you have to keep us updated.
***********
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