Dear Snarky,
My mother ruined my wedding because she left the wedding. Like she just up and disappeared when my bridesmaids and I were all getting dressed. It took me awhile to figure out she was gone because I just assumed she was taking care of last minute wedding stuff. I didn’t notice she wasn’t in the church when my father was walking me down the aisle. It wasn’t until it was time for pictures that I realized she was missing.
My dad texted her and she replied that everyone should have a wonderful time but she was feeling ill and needed to lay down. Of course we didn’t make a big deal out of it because we didn’t want anyone to notice. But I was extremely pissed that my mom wasn’t there. Who misses their daughter’s wedding?
The next day I called her and screamed at her for what she did to me and she blurted it out that reason she left was because she had put up with my extreme verbal abuse for the last year and she hit a wall when I yelled and cursed at her in the church salon and threw a hairbrush and then a shoe that both hit her in the head for not pinning my veil right.
Oh my God every bride gets nervous minutes before they walk down the aisle. Why chose my wedding to freak out? It’s been a month since it happened and she still hasn’t reached out to me apologize. At this point I’m ready to go no contact to punish her for what she did but my dad told me to give it time. Umm why?
Signed, Whose mother does this?
Dear Whose Mother,
Let me tell you story about moms. We have feelings, deep, deep emotions and our feelings can get hurt. We’re not robots who you can keep on shoveling abuse at and we’ll just smile and take it while we wait for more. No, at some point we will hit a wall and your mom did just that.
It’s too bad for you she hit the wall right before your march down the aisle but I dare if my daughter yelled and cursed at me and threw a hairbrush and shoe directly at me I would have probably also exited the church.
Would I have missed the entire wedding? NO, because I think I would want to be present for that milestone.
That said I don’t know how big of a bitch you were to your mom or how long you’ve been mistreating her. I’m guessing your behavior can’t all be blamed on bridal nerves and that you’ve been nasty to your mom for a long time.
What I suggest you do is profusely apologize to your mom for your heinous behavior. You verbally abused her and threw items that hit her. That’s called assault. So think about this – you assaulted your mother on your wedding day.
You need to grow up, start practicing some emotional discipline AND get therapy to deal with more healthy ways to process your angry then yelling, cursing and hitting people because to me it sounds like you’re totally out of control.
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Ugh, that was horrible. So now let me make an awkward transition to telling you that my latest book Killer Dance Mom is now an audiobook! Take a listen on Audible by clicking this link. www.amazon.com/dp/B0C4FZTK5B
Snarky in the Suburbs 