Dear Snarky,
My family and I had a wonderful Christmas opening presents. This year was especially poignant and meaningful because last January my mom died and I was diagnosed with breast cancer two days later.
Yeah – it was a horrible year. I lost my hair of course to chemo… but I’m all done now and it’s growing back slowly but surely.
But the reason I’m writing is my dad is married to a toxic narcissist who always likes to make passive aggressive (or not so passive) comments with her gifts- think comments about the size of the clothes she got me etc.
Well this year imagine my dismay when I opened an entire box of hair clips from her. Like size XL. I would have been able to use them with my old hair which was always long, thick and curly. But now my hair is about an inch long. At the very least this is an incredible careless gift- but because it’s her- it reeks of cruelty.
I’m not sure how to handle it. I want to stick up for myself- and I don’t really want to cause a bunch of drama.
With thanks, Just Barely Survived
Dear Just Barely,
I would limit your exposure to this POS of a human being!!!!!
Is she Satan? Like who does that unless you’re on the devil’s family tree. I’m talking Ancestry.com shows a direct familial link to Satan.
Honestly I would vow to never see her again. I know that would be hard because you’ve already lost your mom and if you go no contact with your dad’s wife then you could lose your dad too. But holy hell why isn’t your dad shutting this shit down?
His wife giving his chemo ravaged daughter who is basically bald from fighting for her life, hair clips should have had him kicking her out of the house.
It’s time to have zero tolerance for this level of cruelty and if your dad can’t understand why you never want to endure his wife’s company again well then he’s a narcissist enabler and I wouldn’t waste your emotional energy on either of them. Bottom line – you’re worth better, so much better and you need to surround yourself with people who love you. Not with evil a-holes.
Good luck and keep me posted because I seriously want to kick this woman’s ass. (Not that I’ve ever literally kicked anyone’s ass but you know what I mean.)
***
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Snarky in the Suburbs 