Dear Snarky,
I’m in a panic. I’m getting married January 6 and my mother mailed my wedding invitations out almost three weeks ago. The problem is my future mother-in-law told me that most of the people on her guest list haven’t received their invitations.
This freaked me out and when I called my mom to make sure she had mailed all the invitations she confessed that she had “edited” some of the groom’s guest list. And by edited she meant that she had not sent invitations to anyone beyond close family members on the groom’s side because she, my mother, is paying for the wedding and my future MIL was being a “greedy bitch” with the number of people she wanted invited and went 50 people over the guest limit my mother gave her.
How do I get this situation resolved quickly? Not only do these people need to be invited but I need to make sure we can afford it. The last thing I want is for people to show up and we don’t have enough food or drinks. At this point I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.
Signed,
Why does everything have to be so hard?
Dear Why,
Whoa, you have a couple of big problems.
One, your future MIL was an ass for going 50 people over on her guest list. In talking with a wedding planner and going on wedding sites like The Knot the average cost per guest is $200. (Which is insane!!!!) In wedding math that’s an extra $10,000 hit to the budget.
Two, your mother should have pushed back and said the list needed to be cut or the groom’s parents needed to fork over ten grand to accommodate their guest list. What she shouldn’t have done is cut the list herself and throw caution to the wind.
Three, you, your fiancé, his mother and your mother plus the dads all need to get in the same room or freaking zoom call and work this out – pronto. If the groom’s family balks at covering some of the cost of the extra guests then their list has to be pared down.
Once this happens quickly send out invitations to the people that weren’t cut. Also, if the groom’s mother freaks out and says she already told people they were going to be invited so she can’t cut her list. That’s her problem now, not yours.
Good luck and I would also suggest keeping a very close eye on your mom and make sure she’s paying vendors etc. At this point I wouldn’t trust her with any more wedding responsibilities.
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I’m not going lie this letter gave me anxiety. If you also need to calm yourself may I be so bold as to suggest reading one of my Snarky books. Laughter always makes me feel better. 📚 Just click on this link to take a 👀 lookie-loo or a 🎧 listen. https://linktr.ee/snarkyinthesuburbs 😍
Snarky in the Suburbs 