Dear Snarky,
I’m angry and devastated because I’ve recently discovered that my boyfriend of four years blew all of our nest egg of more than $10 grand on Super Bowl bets. He drunkenly confessed this to me after the Super Bowl. He was crying so hard when he told me I could barely make out what he was saying.
At first I hoped he was just drunk and mistaken and then I checked our savings account balance and the only money we had in there was the minimum balance required to keep the account open.
After he had sobered up he told me that he had been betting on mostly college games and was “really good at it” and he saw the Super Bowl as a chance to make some big money.
Well, that didn’t happen and now I don’t know if I can ever get over how angry and betrayed I feel. My close friends have told me to give it time before I make any big life changes – but I can’t stand to be in the same room with him so I don’t know how that’s going to work.
Do you have any suggestions because right now I’m ready to kick him out of my life.
Signed, Robbed
Dear Robbed,
First, I would tell him to find another place to stay for a while. You need space and time to think what to do next so make him pack a bag and stay with a friend, family, I wouldn’t care.
Next you need to do these three things immediately.
1. Uncouple any money you have with him. If there’s any more joint bank accounts take your money out and open an account only in your name.
2. Also do the same thing with any credit cards. Make damn sure your finances are completely separated and he doesn’t have access to any of your money.
3. Get a lawyer and seek advice on how to make your boyfriend pay back the money he took from the nest egg without your approval.
After you’ve done all this think about what you want in a long-term relationship. Is your boyfriend a decent human being who you’re willing to see through a gambling problem? Will you ever be able to trust him again?
Because I’m telling you he stole from you and he lied. He lied by not telling you he was using the nest egg to gamble. Plain and simple and if that happened to me I would have some serious trust issues.
You also need to get some counseling because this is an issue that needs some professional insight.
Good luck!
****
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