Dear Snarky – Baby Name Nightmare – Snarky in the Suburbs

Dear Snarky,

My mother-in-law is messing with my pre-school daughter’s mind and I don’t like it. Since the day my daughter was born my mother-in-law has been angry that we named her after my mother who died when I was a teenager. The name is a classic name so it’s nothing weird that should upset anyone.

I guess in retaliation for naming our child after my deceased mom she just decided to rename my daughter and call her an entirely different name. It’s not a nickname of a derivative of my daughter’s name it’s a totally different name.

Since the day our daughter was born my husband and I have corrected my mother-in-law and said no that’s not her name.

The issue came to a head when I was picking up my child from pre-school and her teacher took me aside and told me that my mother-in-law, who had dropped my daughter off because I had a doctor’s appt, told her that my daughter’s name was blank and that’s what she preferred to be called.

Then the teacher said my daughter seems to be confused what her name is.

I need to shut this down right now but I need help how to do it.

Signed, I’m about to lose my shit

Dear About to Lose It,

You and your husband need to sit down with your mother-in-law and tell her you’ve reached the Def Con 1 Nuclear Option stage and that if she ever calls your daughter any name other than the one of her birth certificate she’s not going to see your child.

I would explain that her actions are harming your daughter and it’s an huge act of disrespect plus downright crazy for her to think she has the right to change or edit your daughter’s name in any way, shape or form.

Finally, I would add that you’re going to take break from her so she has time to process all of this and get on board (Now this break could be a month or forever. That’s up to you.) because you’ve now entered zero tolerance territory.

*****

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3Comments

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1

Crankygal on January 23, 2024 at 1:43 pm

Excellent advice, as usual! This sort of unkind, disrespectful, and manipulative nonsense from the MIL is why “Dateline” seems to have an unlimited source of terrible stories about violent things that happen within families. That old lady has some nerve. Seriously.
2

Pam on January 23, 2024 at 3:52 pm

Shame on the school for listening to a non-custodial parent about ANYTHING.
When you sit down with grandma you can also explain how much trouble she can get herself into if she insists on doing this in public. If I had a kid I saw being upset because the adult they were with was calling them the wrong name, I would be on the phone with 911 !
3

Mike Langworthy on January 23, 2024 at 5:42 pm

Refusing to call a child by its name is crazy, purely and simply. Your “Dear Snarky” letters show that there are some people out there whose mental state is frightening.