Are table manners the product of a bygone era like eight track tapes and full coverage underwear? I know most parents have or are raising their kids to embrace the basics like don’t talk with […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
Dear Snarky – Thank You Note Throwdown at Thanksgiving
Dear Snarky, My two sisters and I are so angry that our niece has never written us thank you notes for the wedding presents we gave her that we are planning on staging a manners […]
Gingey Love
When you’re young you think about the goals for your life and set high standards for what you what to achieve. Never did I imagine that one of the hardest goals I would face in […]
Dear Snarky – Kill Me Now Because My Office Has “12 Days of Secret Santa”
Dear Snarky, Hip, hip, hooray it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but I’ve already gotten the instructions for the office “12 Days of Secret Santa.” I seriously want to hurl. The rule is no gift should […]
I’m Fangry
I’m fangry. In fact, this is the worst case of fangry I’ve ever had and it’s really ticking me off. To pile on to my misery there is absolutely nothing I can do to alleviate […]
Dear Snarky – A Bunco Bitch is Ruining Our Group
Dear Snarky Our Bunco group is about to be disbanded due to one former member, #buncobitch, having a temper tantrum because she was not invited back for next year. The back-story is that this woman […]
We Don’t Talk Anymore
We don’t talk anymore. We monologue. We interrupt. We lecture. I don’t know if it’s the fault of social media, our texting culture or if perhaps the lack of conversational finesse is the first sign […]
Halloween Costumes for Parents of Teenagers
My son inadvertently gave me a brilliant idea for a line of Halloween costumes aimed at parents with teenagers due to a sassy insult he threw my way while I was talking to him on […]
Dear Snarky – Help! Politics Has Hijacked My Facebook Page
Dear Snarky, Please tell me what the proper recourse is for dealing with people who clog up Facebook with their political rants. I used to love Facebook and seeing pictures of my friends and their […]
It’s Going On The List!
I’m not afraid of some day having an empty nest because I’ve got a list. The list is going to make me smile, dance a happy jig even, every time I feel a twinge of […]
Dear Snarky – My Mom is Out For Revenge Against My Ex-Fiance
Dear Snarky, I think my mom is losing it. I recently got de-engaged and exactly one month later my ex-fiance got engaged to someone else. Surprise – he was cheating on me! This has made […]
Dear Snarky – HoCo Dress Drama
Dear Snarky, My daughter, who is a junior in high school, let a friend borrow a fancy dress for Homecoming and when the girl returned the dress it was a hot mess. Not only did […]
Mind Blown (okay maybe not blown let’s call it more of a mind gust)
Do you ever have one of those days where you’re just killing it? I’m talking getting everything on your “To Do” list done and then some? That was me last week. I was a multi-tasking […]
Dear Snarky – I Got Thanksgiving Dinner Dumped In My Lap
Dear Snarky, I feel like my family is taking advantage of me – again. I have a large extended family and we rotate who hosts Thanksgiving and Christmas. This year my brother and his wife […]
Bite Me
I pulled up in the after school pick up line topless. I couldn’t help it. It had to be done. My very survival depended on me having my shirt off. For clarification purposes and to […]
Your Kitchen Predicts Marital Bliss
All sorts of online quizzes claim they can help you narrow down or hone in on what makes a successful marriage. I just took one and it was ridiculous. The questions were all about feelings. […]
Dear Snarky – My Daughter’s Dorm Roommate is Running A Hotel
Dear Snarky, My daughter is a freshman in college and is going to a school in a very expensive city. Since school has started her roommate’s family has been using the dorm room as a […]
Dear Snarky – My Son’s New Teacher Was My College “Friend With Benefits”
Dear Snarky, I’ve had the shock of my life. At back-to-school night I found out that a guy I repeatedly hooked up with in college is my 5th grade son’s teacher! He’s new to the […]
Pumpkin Pervs
When did the scent and flavor of pumpkin become a fetish? I’m weary of hearing women rhapsodize about their freaking pumpkin spiced lattes and how long they’ve waited for their pumpkin and what an ordeal […]
Where’s Miss Manners When You Need Her?
Why aren’t people saying anything? They have to be about to lose their mind. I know I am, but you know what, I’m going to let someone else take control of this situation. I’m not […]
Dear Snarky – Betrayed By The Boss’s Daughter
Dear Snarky, I’m 25-years-old and work for a family owned business. Over the summer the owner’s 20-year-old daughter worked with me in the marketing department. We hit it off and even hung out together some […]
Dear Snarky – I’m Being Mom Shamed for Not Being a School Bus Stalker
Dear Snarky, You would not believe what is happening in my neighborhood. There are 10 kids at our bus stop and a couple of moms have taken it upon themselves to “police” the bus. This […]
Back-to-School Blues
Back-to-school excitement really starts waning when you have teenagers. Don’t get me wrong I’m all hip hip hooray that school is in full swing, but what blows is that all the fun rituals you had […]
C.S.I. – The Suburbs
I see dead people. OK, not actually dead people, but I do see serial killers, which makes me “this” close to seeing dead people. You now may be beyond curious as to how I’m seeing […]
Dear Snarky – Help Me Say No to the Back-to-School $ Shakedown
Dear Snarky, I’m going through a divorce and money is really, really tight. This has me dreading school starting because as soon as I walk through the door with my kids everyone has their hand […]
Going Rogue On the “Love Your Spouse Challenge”
There’s something about working from home that can mess with your mind. For sure not going into an office is great. You can work in your pajamas and basically eschew any and all grooming. (Except […]
Dear Snarky – Sorority Rec Rescinded
Dear Snarky, My daughter is leaving for college in a few weeks and is going to go through sorority rush. I recently found out that someone, whom I thought was a very good friend, and […]
Adult Co-Ed Rec Softball – A Field of Screams
If you’ve ever been curious as to what those people who post political rants all the time on social media are doing in their spare – non hysterical the world is going to end if […]
Dear Snarky – Pissed Off About a Pool Pee Prank
Dear Snarky, My brother pulled a prank that turned ugly. He has a pool and always jokes that my family never seems to use the bathroom at his house while swimming. Last weekend, during a large […]
You Know You Live In Deep Suburbia . . .
You know you live in deep suburbia when your lawn gets a report card more in-depth and extensive than your children have ever received from any of their schools. My yard apparently is a C […]
Dear Snarky – Pokemon Go Away
Dear Snarky, I have a friend who is now calling me a stalker. We both have boys who are 9 and do a lot together. A couple of days ago I texted her about taking […]
Are You Suffering From FOKMO?
Because, I guess, I’ve made a career out of complaining (proving the adage that everybody is good at something) friends, random strangers, and Target employees quite frequently enjoy sharing their latest outrage with me. It […]
Dear Snarky – Did I Ruin a Wedding By Not Sharing My Hook Up History With the Bride?
Dear Snarky, I have recently been accused of ruining a wedding. I am/was a friend of both the bride and groom and during the reception the very drunk best man gave a toast where he […]
Random Thoughts On the Interstate
I’ve spent a lot of time in my car lately driving our country’s interstates and because my 23 hour book on CD turned out to be a dud I was forced to listen to the […]
Dear Snarky – My Friend is Marrying “Mr. No F’ing Fun”
Dear Snarky I’m one of six bridesmaids in a longtime friend’s wedding and half of us feel like we need to do an intervention because we feel like our friend is settling in her choice […]
Lifeguarding: Tank Suit + Whistle = TLF
This summer represents a milestone for me. No, it’s not that I’m finally throwing caution, decorum and my cellulite to the wind and going to the Schlitterbahn water park without wearing a swim skirt, but […]
Dear Snarky – Disney Dumb Asses
Dear Snarky, I’m in the middle of a family feud and it’s all because of a Disney World vacation. Recently, we had a family reunion at Disney and it turned into a nightmare. My cousins […]
Gun Shy
Come on America we have to do something about gun control. Our reaction to yet another mass shooting can’t be to just change our Facebook page profile picture to reflect that we’re praying for the […]
Should I Be Crying More?
I worry about myself sometimes because I’m not the least bit sentimental. I’m talking zero teary eyes about life’s big parenting events like a child graduating. Emphasis here on high school commencements because if you […]
Is Happy Camper An Oxymoron?
Camping is one of those things that look really great, but in reality is stone cold awful. LL Bean catalogs, REI and Subaru commercials all make lodging au natural seem like you’re living the dream […]
The End of the World
Last week I felt like my world had been turned upside down. Two fundamental truths turned out to be false or at the very least momentarily changed and it all happened in one day. First, […]
Dear Snarky – Baby Mama Name Drama
Dear Snarky, I’m feeling betrayed by my mother and sister-in-law! My sister-in-law and I were pregnant at the same time. Right now, I’m about seven months along and my sister-in-law just had her baby. For […]
Dear Snarky – The 5 Most Annoying Summer Problems & How to Fix Them
Before summer officially begins I, because I’m a giver, have culled through years of Dear Snarky letters and come up the Top 5 most common summer problems that could plague your seasonal bliss. And because […]
Summer Loving
I’m deliriously happy that I have a solid ten-week break before I have to pack another school lunch. In my mom lifetime (that can be counted in dog years) I calculated that I’ve made close […]
Dear Snarky – Help Me Shut Down A Mom Who Is School Shaming
Dear Snarky, My daughter just graduate high school and she is going to K State for college. The problem I’m having is that another mom whose daughter also just graduated has spent every graduation party […]
You Win, Your Kid is Amazing, Now Can You Go Talk to Someone Else
Okay, who am I kidding? I know the parenting competition season is year round, but at least in the summer you’re less up and close personal with the participants and trust me I need that […]
Bra Shopping Made Me Cry
I don’t like anything scary. Horror movies, Stephen King novels and those fright houses that pop up at Halloween just count me out. My lifelong quest to avoid anything that would cause me to be […]
Teacher-in-Chief
Teacher appreciation day is coming up soon and all I have to say is to anyone that has ever stepped foot in a classroom thank you for your service to our country. I can’t imagine […]
Dear Snarky – A Man Bun Is Ruining My Marriage
Dear Snarky, My husband has moved out of our house and is currently living with his mom because I called B.S. on his mid-life crisis. About six months ago he started growing his hair out, […]
Fan Club
Before I became a parent I imagined myself being rather spectacular at it. I would be like my own mother, but even better with overtures of my grandma who never meet a toy or chocolate […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 