Dear Snarky,
My two sisters and I are so angry that our niece has never written us thank you notes for the wedding presents we gave her that we are planning on staging a manners intervention on Thanksgiving.
We feel like we have to do something because her mom, our sister, sure isn’t making sure her grown daughter writes them. What has happened to people’s manners? Who doesn’t write thank you notes for wedding presents?
Our niece has to be told she’s failing her family and P.S. my mother would be rolling over in her grave to know that one of her granddaughters’ was that lazy and ungrateful.
The only problem is my husband. He says it will ruin Thanksgiving. What do you think Snarky?
Signed, Manners Police Because Someone Has to Be the Bad Cop
Dear Manners,
Oh my, I feel like there is a whole lot more going on here than a wedding thank you note, like years of family drama and deep-rooted hostility.
My short answer is ditch the intervention. I agree with your hubs it will, 100 %, ruin Thanksgiving and I’m getting the vibe that you and your sisters just might love drama and pot stirring.
Now on the thank you note issue. I’m going to reverse my longstanding position on handwritten thank you notes. Are they awesome? You bet. Should you get your feelings hurt if you don’t get one to the point of creating family division? Um no.
If you sent a gift than yes you need to know it was received, but I now think any expression of gratitude is fabulous. I would much rather receive a sweet text from my nephew with a photo of him holding my gift and blowing kisses than a generic four line thank you note card. Yep, times have changed.
As for your niece – let it go. If the lack of gratitude upsets you and your sisters that much than don’t get here anymore gifts. There’s a strong message about how you feel. But for the love of turkey and dressing don’t let a thank you note destroy your holiday because that “Manners Police” would be a humongous etiquette gaffe a thousand times worse than not writing a thank you note.
*If you have a question for Dear Snarky, “21st Century Advice With An Attitude” email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or send me a PM on the Snarky FB page. 😉
Snarky in the Suburbs 