Dear Snarky – Thank You Note Throwdown at Thanksgiving

Dear Snarky,real-feelings-thanksgiving-dinner-funny-ecard-fkn

 My two sisters and I are so angry that our niece has never written us thank you notes for the wedding presents we gave her that we are planning on staging a manners intervention on Thanksgiving.

 We feel like we have to do something because her mom, our sister, sure isn’t making sure her grown daughter writes them. What has happened to people’s manners? Who doesn’t write thank you notes for wedding presents?

 Our niece has to be told she’s failing her family and P.S. my mother would be rolling over in her grave to know that one of her granddaughters’ was that lazy and ungrateful.

 The only problem is my husband. He says it will ruin Thanksgiving. What do you think Snarky?

 Signed,  Manners Police Because Someone Has to Be the Bad Cop

 Dear Manners,

 Oh my, I feel like there is a whole lot more going on here than a wedding thank you note, like years of family drama and deep-rooted hostility.

 My short answer is ditch the intervention. I agree with your hubs it will, 100 %, ruin Thanksgiving and I’m getting the vibe that you and your sisters just might love drama and pot stirring.

 Now on the thank you note issue. I’m going to reverse my longstanding position on handwritten thank you notes. Are they awesome? You bet. Should you get your feelings hurt if you don’t get one to the point of creating family division? Um no.

 If you sent a gift than yes you need to know it was received, but I now think any expression of gratitude is fabulous. I would much rather receive a sweet text from my nephew with a photo of him holding my gift and blowing kisses than a generic four line thank you note card.  Yep, times have changed.

 As for your niece – let it go. If the lack of gratitude upsets you and your sisters that much than don’t get here anymore gifts. There’s a strong message about how you feel. But for the love of turkey and dressing don’t let a thank you note destroy your holiday because that “Manners Police” would be a humongous etiquette gaffe a thousand times worse than not writing a thank you note.

*If you have a question for Dear Snarky, “21st Century Advice With An Attitude” email me at or send me a PM on the Snarky FB page. 😉


8 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – Thank You Note Throwdown at Thanksgiving

  1. Kimmie says:

    I’m a mother with young kids and thank you Snarky for sharing that a sweet text or picture are worth more than a four line thank you note that I had to browbeat my kids into writing.

  2. Jeanine says:

    NOT at Thanksgiving, but later, couldn’t the sisters call the niece and just say they wanted to be sure the couple had received the gift, since there were so many gifts and there may have been a mix-up?
    And P.S New husbands can now write thank-you notes, too, especially to their side of the family.

  3. Jess says:

    I’ve given wedding gifts plenty of times before and have not always received a thank you note. I can understand how some couples, especially with a big wedding, can sometimes miss the opportunity to send one because it’s such a hectic time. I would never take it personally.

  4. Katie says:

    I have been that person not to send a thank you note but have personally thanked them and told them how much I love xyz they bought. I have written them and forgot to send them. But I have always made sure when I see them or at the shower or whenever it might have been to thank each one. Recently, my aunt did tell me she thought I was ungrateful and I looked at her and said, “Have you ever known me to be ungrateful?” (Except in this no thank you note situation?) She said well no you are so sweet then I told her you should not be hung up on a piece of paper that is generic that says “Thank you for the gift, thank you for coming cant wait to see you again”…Really? I told her I have always verbally expressed how thankful I am. It should be OK as long as you have made it aware that you are thankful for what you have been given.

  5. texashomeschooler says:

    I would go with sugar rather than vinegar! Did you give the gift just so you could receive a note? If so, just stop giving gifts! Why don’t you just nicely ask if she got it at the gathering and sympathize with how busy life is instead of causing a family rift over something that isn’t that important!

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