My daughter is a freshman in college and is going to a school in a very expensive city. Since school has started her roommate’s family has been using the dorm room as a hotel. So far, her roommate’s mother has stayed for week, then an aunt with two nieces came for almost a week and then the mom came back with grandma where she asked my daughter to give up her bed for the grandmother.
This is not a helicopter parent thing at all. The family is coming to the city and doing all the touristy things and the dorm room is basically a Holiday Inn. My daughter is miserable. A room the size of postage stamp and was never meant to house up to 5 people. Never mind that no kid goes away to college and wants to be roomies with a grandma.
How do we handle this situation without it becoming hostile?
One Ticked Off Mom
Dear Ticked Off,
Your daughter needs to go to her floor R.A. and call the University’s housing department and report what is going on. From just a safety perspective the number of people living in the dorm room is a fire hazard. Also colleges don’t like their housing being used as a permanent hotel for out-of-town guests so, trust me, they will shut that down.
When all this comes to a head your daughter needs to tell her roommate that all she did is ask if there was anyway another bed could be put in your room because she felt badly that the roomies family was having to sleep on the floor. Also I think that the roommate will be grateful. She may not show it, but I’m sure she will be doing inner high fives that her mother, grandmother, and assorted cousins have been evicted from her college experience.
I would also advice your daughter, while she waits for the University to take action, to start Operation Remove Relatives. She needs to be disgusting – belching, farting, fake vomit, ragers in the dorm room – basically creating a hostile hotel environment for her roommates relatives. What are they going to do about it? Report her to university housing? Um, I don’t think so.
Good luck and let me know how it all turns out!