Dear Snarky – My Daughter’s Dorm Roommate is Running A Hotel

screen-shot-2016-09-23-at-10-35-00-amDear Snarky,

My daughter is a freshman in college and is going to a school in a very expensive city. Since school has started her roommate’s family has been using the dorm room as a hotel. So far, her roommate’s mother has stayed for week, then an aunt with two nieces came for almost a week and then the mom came back with grandma where she asked my daughter to give up her bed for the grandmother.

 This is not a helicopter parent thing at all. The family is coming to the city and doing all the touristy things and the dorm room is basically a Holiday Inn. My daughter is miserable. A room the size of postage stamp and was never meant to house up to 5 people. Never mind that no kid goes away to college and wants to be roomies with a grandma. 

 How do we handle this situation without it becoming hostile?


One Ticked Off Mom

 Dear Ticked Off,

 Your daughter needs to go to her floor R.A. and call the University’s housing department and report what is going on. From just a safety perspective the number of people living in the dorm room is a fire hazard. Also colleges don’t like their housing being used as a permanent hotel for out-of-town guests so, trust me, they will shut that down.

 When all this comes to a head your daughter needs to tell her roommate that all she did is ask if there was anyway another bed could be put in your room because she felt badly that the roomies family was having to sleep on the floor.  Also I think that the roommate will be grateful. She may not show it, but I’m sure she will be doing inner high fives that her mother, grandmother, and assorted cousins have been evicted from her college experience.

I would also advice your daughter, while she waits for the University to take action, to start Operation Remove Relatives. She needs to be disgusting – belching, farting, fake vomit, ragers in the dorm room – basically creating a hostile hotel environment for her roommates relatives. What are they going to do about it? Report her to university housing? Um, I don’t think so. 

Good luck and let me know how it all turns out!






6 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – My Daughter’s Dorm Roommate is Running A Hotel

  1. Cassandra says:

    I used to be an R.A. and yes, you are right, the university will not be happy about this. The student needs to do something about this asap! I’d like to say this doesn’t happen a lot, but one year we had identical twins living the dorm except only one twin was paying for housing. The other twin passed herself off as her sister so the family could save money. The poor girl they were living with didn’t say anything about her “extra” roommate until after she went home for Christmas and told her parents. They blew up, called the university and both twins were evicted.

  2. phoenixwarriorwithin says:

    Holy cow! I can’t believe the complete rudeness of the family to use the dorm as a hotel and even go so far as to ask the other girl to give up her bed. Enough with trying to nice! They are completely in the wrong and have no reason to be hostile. The roommate and all the family members should be evicted and fined.

  3. irreverendt says:

    Great advise…our daughter had a room mate that was using the room as a different kind of hotel and my son had a redneck room mate with a gun and this was 1986.

  4. Stephanie H. says:

    Obviously, these people are in the wrong on many levels and it’s likely that University Housing will deal with it swiftly, but what if they don’t? What if this were an apartment situation? The daughter in question should assert herself to her roommate and attempt to communicate her displeasure in a constructive way. Part of college is learning to deal with other people in situations meant to facsimilate those of adult life. Being a doormat or responding passive-aggressively isn’t going to work so well when the RAs, parents, etc. are out of the picture.

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