You would not believe what is happening in my neighborhood. There are 10 kids at our bus stop and a couple of moms have taken it upon themselves to “police” the bus. This means that everyday they take turns following the bus in their car to make sure it gets to school safely and then they group text everyone that the kids made it to school okay.
None of this makes any sense because we have had zero problems with the bus or the driver. It doesn’t stop there. Yesterday a mom got on the bus and rubbed down a couple of seats with antibacterial wipes.
Yet, I’m considered crazy because I refused to volunteer for a “follow the bus” shift. I still get the group text, but the moms will say snippy things like “not that you care, but your kids made it safely to school.”
How do I stop this? It’s ruining pretty much every morning.
Signed, Not A Bus Follower
Dear Not A Bus,
I could tell you that after the first month of school these moms will simmer down and tire of their bus stalking BUT I would be lying to you. These mothers suffer from hyper vigilant maternal anxiety that is a subset of the neurosis known, as “I don’t have enough going on in my life so I’m going to concoct various worst case scenarios.” This pattern of parenting will eventually result in their children having crippling trust and independence issues well into adulthood. (But, you know that’s a whole other Dear Snarky letter.)
The only way to get this type of mother to helicopter parent away is to give her more to worry about. So I suggest you mom shame right back with statements like, “Wow I can’t believe you’re just content to follow the bus. I know some other moms actually ride the bus so they know exactly what’s going on.” Or “Did you know that there is a crew of moms at the other elementary school that clean the buses because a black light showed that our buses are dirtier than a toilet seat at a Walmart on Black Friday.”
Once you planted those suggestive seeds these moms will hopefully be too busy to send you any more passive aggressive texts because they’ll be either riding or vigorously scrubbing a school bus.
*If you have a question for – Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice With an Attitude – write me at firstname.lastname@example.org or send me a private message on my Snarky FB page. 😉