Dear Snarky – Sorority Rec Rescinded

61110c99cb154b855df4ab9b6b85d9a7Dear Snarky,

My daughter is leaving for college in a few weeks and is going to go through sorority rush. I recently found out that someone, whom I thought was a very good friend, and is an alumna of a sorority my daughter is very interested in, did not, after promising and volunteering too, write her a recommendation  letter for her sorority and you need an alumna recommendation letter to be invited to the rush parties!

When I confronted her about why she didn’t write a rec, as promised, she had the nerve to tell me that my amazing 4.0 GPA, tons of high school awards, daughter was not “sorority material.”

I’m so angry and so hurt for myself and my daughter I don’t know what to do, but I know I need to do something. Any suggestions?

Signed, Stunned

Dear Stunned,

Take a breath. It’s not like someone backed out of giving you a kidney.  Please know that just because your crappy friend didn’t write your daughter a rec doesn’t mean she’s not going to get into a sorority. You need to survey your friend and acquaintance base and see if you know someone else who can write her a rec letter for that sorority. Also, if a sorority really wants a girl, trust me, they’ll manage to get her a rec letter.

Now, and this is going to hard, stop fixating on that one sorority. Let’s say worst case scenario you don’t get someone to write her rec letter. Big deal, maybe, if the alumnae are any indication, it would be an awful sorority and she’s better off not having that experience.

The absolute worst thing you can do is blow this up so it overshadows what really counts – the life event of your daughter leaving for college. Focus on that and as for your “friend”  I would give that B the polite cold shoulder (or middle finger) for the rest of eternity.

*If you have a question for – Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice With an Attitude – write me at or send me a private message on my Snarky FB page.