Dear Snarky – Did I Ruin a Wedding By Not Sharing My Hook Up History With the Bride?

Dear Snarky,

 I have recently been accused of ruining a wedding.  I am/was a friend of both the bride and groom and during the reception the very drunk best man gave a toast where he mentioned that I had slept with the groom. What he failed to say in his toast was that it was one time, 12 years ago, in the dorm, when we were both 19!

 The bride freaked out, ran off and her parents asked me to leave the reception. Three days later my gift is returned with a very hateful note telling me that I ruined her special day and I should have told her I hooked up her husband.

 Should I contact her and explain that it was years ago before either of us knew her and is this a new thing when people get engaged are you supposed to compare hook up histories with them?

 Signed, Just Say No To Anymore Weddings

 Dear Just Say No,

 I think in this day and age with people getting married much later in life that everyone has to have a much more lenient attitude towards their future spouses romantic past.  There is no way that a one time amorous canoodle at 19 should be held against you in your 30s. Nor do I think that you had any responsibility  in telling the bride, “Hey congrats and all on your engagement and by the way full disclosure time I slept with your future husband more than a decade ago.” As far as I’m concerned that is the groom’s story to share, if he so chooses, with his fiancée not yours.

 The jerk in all of this is the drunk best man who I’m sure thought he was being hilarious. If the bride was smart she would have laughed, played it off and the only thing anybody would have thought was that the toast was the ramblings of an intoxicated fool.

 When the bride freaked out she ruined her own wedding. So keep your head held high and take that wedding gift that was returned to you and get yourself something special.


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