Dear Snarky – Baby Mama Name Drama

Dear Snarky,dear_snarky_logo-1

I’m feeling betrayed by my mother and sister-in-law! My sister-in-law and I were pregnant at the same time. Right now, I’m about seven months along and my sister-in-law just had her baby. For three months I have had a name picked out for my baby. It’s a very unusual, family name that I found by being a fan of genealogy. I refused to tell anyone in my family the name until my mom insisted on knowing because she said she wanted to do some monogramming for the nursery. I told her and swore her to secrecy.

I sure you can figure what out happened. My mom told my sister-in-law the name and she stole it! I can’t believe it and when I found out I got hysterical. My sister-in-law then had the nerve to tell me you can’t call “dibs” on names. Seriously, right now I don’t want anything to do with that side of my family. Do you have any advice how to heal this rift before my baby is born?

Signed, Third Trimester Angry

Dear Third Trimester,

I’m zero trimesters and I’m beyond angry! Right now I want to give your mother and sister-in-law a good butt whooping. But instead I’ll try to calm down enough to help you plot your revenge.

First, tell everyone in your family or just your mom, because it seems like her jaws are always flapping, that you still intend to name your baby the name you discovered. This will tick your sister-in-law off and when she gives you any attitude just say, “Excuse me, but weren’t you the one that said you can’t call dibs on names.”

Then, just because you can and also blame it on pregnancy hormones, pout and let your mom know she’s hurt your feelings for life.

After all that is out-of-the-way – go back to your family tree and pick another name, that while not your first choice, will still be excellent and here’s why. Once you have your baby you will be so in love, so besotted by the majesty that is your child that his or her name could be Weasel McTurdducken and you wouldn’t care. Also, children have a way of growing into and owning their names. So, three years from now you will look at your child and your niece or nephew and think to yourself, “Wow, each of these kids names really fit their personality.” And you will then thank divine providence that you didn’t name your child your initial selection.

You will also, if your smart, continue to keep an eye on your sister-in-law because she seems super shady and likely to strike again.

*If you need advice from Dear Snarky “21st Century Advice With An Attitude” please email me at or private message me on my Snarky Facebook page.

10 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – Baby Mama Name Drama

  1. OLLIE says:

    Are you kidding me???? What a piece of you know what the sister-in-law is. I would be mad for months and the whole thing speaks to the character of the mom and the sister-in-law. It’s shameful.

  2. Penny says:

    Total jerk move by the sister-in-law. How did she think it would end well? Also, what’s up with a mother betraying her daughter’s secret to her daughter-in-law? A daughter comes before a daughter-in-law.

  3. Aunt of a couple Andys says:

    I wonder where that “monogramming” by Grandma end up now? And where’s the shame for the brother? He had some part in agreeing to the name, too.

    • Leslie says:

      In my experience the moms usually have the final say in the name department and the brother probably didn’t know his wife was stealing the name his sister had picked out.

  4. mamalion3 says:

    I’m sure the mom really didn’t think something like that would happen! If it were me, I would just go right on with my plans and name that baby what you had planned!!! There will just have to be two little Sally or Henry’s !

    • snarkyinthesuburbs says:

      You maybe right. I did think of that, BUT the name would always be tainted and based on the character of the sister-in-law her mothering skills maybe sub par resulting in a kid that’s not so awesome therefore making the name less than desirable. If the name was average like Jack or something I would have said go ahead and stick with your choice, but since she called it “unusual” I thought the safer bet was starting fresh.

  5. Leslie says:

    I agree with Snarky if the name is super different than two cousins with the exact same name would be weird and I would want to distance myself from that SIL as much as possible.

  6. Jo-Jerry Prochko says:

    This is not uncommon!! It happened to me as well. But I truly do love the “new” name I gave my son. Probably better than the one I originally had chosen. So hopefully the joke will be on the sister-in-law because it may not fit the kid later in life. Snarky is right though about how in time the name won’t matter once baby is here!

  7. Kate says:

    What is it with family members treating each other like dirt? It’s like, “Oh it’s family so that means I can behave however I want because my family has to forgive me.” Newsflash – Eventually your family will get tired of your B.S.

  8. Meg says:

    This is a story i’ve heard many, many times before. Some in real life and some in blogs. My best friend told her name to a childhood friend and a few months later her baby was given the name.

    I also say give the child the name. Or if there is a nickname version of the original that you like, use that. No one says a child can’t be named the nickname. Instead of Jeffrey name the child Jeff. Instead of Robert name him Bob. Especially if you always intended to use a nickname.

    We choose 2 names for our child (one to be picked when we saw the baby). When i told others, including my cousin pregnant with the same gender child and due a month before me, i told them we are naming our kid one of those names and we don’t care if the babies have the same name. And we didn’t, so that makes the difference.

    Turns out we accidentally gave our baby a fami5name from deep within our family tree. We had no idea.

    PS My cousin did not choose our name.

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