Dear Snarky,
I’m feeling betrayed by my mother and sister-in-law! My sister-in-law and I were pregnant at the same time. Right now, I’m about seven months along and my sister-in-law just had her baby. For three months I have had a name picked out for my baby. It’s a very unusual, family name that I found by being a fan of genealogy. I refused to tell anyone in my family the name until my mom insisted on knowing because she said she wanted to do some monogramming for the nursery. I told her and swore her to secrecy.
I sure you can figure what out happened. My mom told my sister-in-law the name and she stole it! I can’t believe it and when I found out I got hysterical. My sister-in-law then had the nerve to tell me you can’t call “dibs” on names. Seriously, right now I don’t want anything to do with that side of my family. Do you have any advice how to heal this rift before my baby is born?
Signed, Third Trimester Angry
Dear Third Trimester,
I’m zero trimesters and I’m beyond angry! Right now I want to give your mother and sister-in-law a good butt whooping. But instead I’ll try to calm down enough to help you plot your revenge.
First, tell everyone in your family or just your mom, because it seems like her jaws are always flapping, that you still intend to use the name you picked out months ago and that your sister-in-law “stole.” This will tick your sister-in-law off and when she gives you any attitude just say, “Excuse me, but weren’t you the one that said you can’t call dibs on names.”
Then, just because you can and also blame it on pregnancy hormones, pout and let your mom know she’s hurt your feelings for life.
After all that is done I then suggest you go back to your family tree and pick another name, that while not your first choice, will still be excellent and here’s why. Once you have your baby you will be so in love, so besotted by the majesty that is your child that his or her name could be Weasel McTurdducken and you wouldn’t care.
Also, children have a way of growing into and owning their names. So, three years from now you will look at your child and your niece or nephew and think to yourself, “Wow, each of these kids names really fit their personality.” And you will then thank divine providence that you didn’t name your child your initial selection.
You will also, if your smart, continue to keep an eye on your sister-in-law because she seems super shady and likely to strike again.
*If you need advice from Dear Snarky “21st Century Advice With An Attitude” please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or private message me on my Snarky Facebook page.
Snarky in the Suburbs 