One would think after recently recovering from a debilitating journey to wallpaper removal hell I would have come to the conclusion that I’m significantly challenged in all forms of home improvement. But because I suffer […]
Category: Uncategorized
True Confessions of a Football Wife
Noooo! This can’t be happening? Hasn’t the pandemic been agony enough. Why, oh why, am I now in college football hell – again? One would think that the fact a fan can experience Big 12 […]
A Sprinkling of Silver Linings
I think we can all agree that so far 2020 has been annus horribilis. (Shout out to my high school Latin that I haven’t used in 40 years.) If you’re one of those people that […]
Hands Down on this Display of Affection
I’m going to straight up admit I’m a stalker. But, I’d like to think I’m a stalker with a certain level of panache. This means I don’t stalk my children because in a word – […]
Dear Snarky – Coronavirus = Family Fury
*Almost all of the letters I’ve gotten the past several days have, in some way, been about the coronavirus. So, because of this strange time we’re living in I decided to answer a couple of […]
Dear Snarky – Help, I Work With Slobs!
Dear Snarky, I work for a super hip company that has no dress code and everyday I’m literally picking my jaw up from the floor when I see what people wear to work. There’s men […]
Holiday Shopping Puzzlers
I actually enjoy holiday shopping but sadly my family has ruined it for me. Now, I get lists where all I have do is point and click to their on-line shopping bag. Efficient? Yes. Fun? […]
A Dear Snarky Holiday Buffet
So many Christmas conundrums. So little time. In an attempt to help spread some holiday happiness I bring you a trio of letters. Let’s hope my answers deliver a soupçon of seasonal sanity to your family […]
I Finally Got a Clue
My family loves board games. Well, that’s actually a lie. The truth is my daughter loves board games and forces us to play them with her. This is why on Thanksgiving while feeling very uncomfortably […]
Is It Really Christmas Without a Hallmark Holiday Movie?
Fake snow, meeting cute, and the classic two second end of movie smooch means Christmas is here and warning I’ll throw down with anyone who doesn’t agree with me. Being an influencer is a huge […]
My Christmas “Do Not Want” List
I have no idea what I want for Christmas besides the mom trifecta of world peace, love and the eradication of disease and famine from our planet. I do though know what I don’t want […]
The Smoking Thanksgiving
Change is hard especially when it comes to trying to “update” your holiday traditions. Back in early October I made a momentous announcement to my family and like any announcement that would shake my husband […]
Dear Snarky – My Sister-in-Law is Pocketing Money Meant for Our Parents Christmas Gifts
Dear Snarky, I think my sister-in-law is stealing from the family. For the past couple of years, she has volunteered to be the person who buys my mom and dad their Christmas gift from all […]
Dear Snarky – My Mother-In-Law Thought Helping Out After I Just Had a Baby Was Supposed to Be a Vacation
Dear Snarky, I can’t believe the latest stunt my mother-in-law pulled. I just had my second baby (my first is only 18 months old) and my mother-in- law literally begged to come stay with us […]
Dear Snarky My Sister Doesn’t Give a Shit
Dear Snarky, I’ve got a summer family feud brewing. My sister is doing some ridiculous thing called “free training” her baby. This is when your baby never wears a diaper and just does his business anywhere. […]
Hair Raising Issues
I consider myself an assertive person. Give me a family member with an issue and I’m all over it. The two areas, though, where my assertiveness evaporates is any kind of monetary salary negotiations and […]
Summer Mysteries
Summer is a time of year that you don’t usually associate the word mysterious with. It’s sunny and bright and just way too hot for anything that involves effort filled intrigue. But, there are some […]
I’ve Packed My Last School Lunch – Forever!
I have packed my very last school lunch. In fact, I estimate that I have Glad Ziplocked more than 6,916 meals for my kids to take to school. If that number looks high to you please be advised […]
Dear Snarky – Teacher Gift Drama
Dear Snarky, It’s time for the end of the year class gift for my son’s fourth grade teacher and the class mom is adamant about not buying the teacher a gift. This mom thinks she […]
Can You Still Be Considered A Southerner If You Hate Grits?
When your grandmother is the “Grits Queen” not liking “Southern Porridge isn’t an option. As a Texas girl with a southern mama and grandmother, I was raised with a keen and enthusiastic appreciation of brunch, […]
Dear Snarky – The Case of the Lifestyle Stalker
Dear Snarky, I have a friend I’m seriously considering sending a bill to for interior design. It’s either that or I’m never going to talk to her ever again. For three years, I have been planning […]
Dear Snarky – It’s My Birthday Cake and I’ll Whine If I Want To
Dear Snarky, Everyone at my office now hates me. I’m the executive assistant to the president of a very small company and one of my jobs is being the party planner for special events like […]
Dear Snarky – I Refuse to Wear an Ugly Halloween Costume
Dear Snarky, My friends and I are going as a group to a Halloween party and we usually do a themed costume for all of us. I suggested we go as Wonder Woman through the […]
It’s A Dorm Room Dummy
* This blog post is inspired by the Dear Snarky letter I received about moms spending thousands of dollars on dorm room decorations. There’s nothing I like more than dispensing unsolicited parenting advice and making […]
Pumpkin Pervs
When did the scent and flavor of pumpkin become a fetish? I’m weary of hearing women rhapsodize about their freaking pumpkin spiced lattes and how long they’ve waited for their pumpkin and what an ordeal […]
You Know You Live In Deep Suburbia . . .
You know you live in deep suburbia when your lawn gets a report card more in-depth and extensive than your children have ever received from any of their schools. My yard apparently is a C […]
Gun Shy
Come on America we have to do something about gun control. Our reaction to yet another mass shooting can’t be to just change our Facebook page profile picture to reflect that we’re praying for the […]
Is Happy Camper An Oxymoron?
Camping is one of those things that look really great, but in reality is stone cold awful. LL Bean catalogs, REI and Subaru commercials all make lodging au natural seem like you’re living the dream […]
My 2015 “Magical” Moment
Something magical happened to me at Target on Christmas Eve. I was there to up my stocker stuffer game because upon checking my stash of stocking goodies I discovered all I had were holiday breath […]
Thank You!
In the past several months I’ve been fortunate to have many awesome experiences all because of writing this blog. Foremost is having the film and television rights optioned by ABC. That was quite a ride. […]
Partly Cloud with a Chance of Dumb Ass – Part Two
I had about three hours to pull off my Water Carnival and I’d like to say thanks to my Snarky FB friends for coming through for me. I had posted what the Yard Terrorist had […]
School – Back Off!
I have yet to see the first full week of summer in my rearview mirror and already I’ve received e-mails, texts and two letters informing me of all the over the summer work required of […]
P.T.A. Vajazzle Fundraiser Time Line
This is for everyone who wanted to see the PTA Timeline for the Vajazzle – Girls Night Out – Fundraiser. First, for this to make sense you have to read my previous post – The School […]
Middle Aged Tweens
Being forced against my will to see the Justin Beiber movie “Never Say Never” unleashed a flood of repressed memories from the pre-tween concerts I have been guilted into attending for the past several years. I […]
Let’s Just All Agree We Suck at Parenting and Move On
I think every parent should have two primary goals to achieve while raising children. Your first and most important goal – your kids don’t kill you in your sleep. My personal fear is that my […]
Where Evil Lurks – The Comment Section of Parenting Websites
One of the things that confuses me about being a parent (and trust me there are many) is that we expect our kids to behave better than we do. For example, last week at the […]
Already Annoyed
Sure, I eat bitter for breakfast, but I thought I could hold off on my 2011 annoyances until, say, at least February, unfortunately no can do. I blame Snookie. She set me off. Good God […]
My Crappy Old Year
New Year’s Resolutions are for suckers. I try to never make any because about six days after I’ve committed myself to a life changing agenda I’m already abandoning ship on the U.S.S. Pledge to a […]
Currently Irking Me…
It’s true, I do like to complain. I think I have a gift for it or at least that’s what my husband tells me. I consider it my calling, an art form, if you will, […]
D.I.Y. You Lie
Do It Yourself is all a great big lie. It’s a three-way conspiracy between Lowes, Home Depot and HGTV to thin the herd through a series of fatal home improvement accidents. I’ve attempted to be a […]
Mean Girls – A Lifestyle
Is it just me or does it seem to you that mean girls are increasing exponentially? Sure, there have always been mean girls. No doubt, even during the stone age there was one cave girl […]
Excuse Me, But There’s a Turd In the Wavepool
I am officially waterlogged. I have spent ten days experiencing a moisture carnival. I have been swimming, floating, tubing, sliding, paddling and marinating in my own bodily juices until my skin has begun to take […]
Overheard at the Pool – Part 2
It’s summertime and the living is easy Fish are jumping and the cotton is high Your daddy’s rich and your mama’s good-looking On rare occasions I have the opportunity to dip my non-pedicured toe into […]
BP, D.C. The Oil Spill and Why The Mess Needs a Mother
I’ve decided our elected officials in D.C. need a mother. Someone to kick their butts, give them tough love, and tell them that the world does not revolve around them in way only a mother […]
Sex and the City 2 – A Letter to Movie Critics
Dear Movie Critics, Unless you’re a middle-aged woman, stuck with kids and/or other things that breathe whose daily existence depends on you getting up every morning and whose last big shopping splurge was at T.J. […]
Snarky Gets Cranky
Today has not been a good day. Usually I would self medicate with chocolate, but because I spent the better part of my weekend at a water-park I feel I must say no to brownies. I would also, at this time, like to offer my sincerest and heartfelt apologies to anyone who was in visual range of me in a swimsuit at Ocra’s World of Waves. My substitute today for chocolate will be excessive ranting. Because I’m home alone and have no one to share my bad temper with you, special friend, will get to experience Extreme Cranky Turbo Edition.
Cheer Up Mom – Here Are 5 Ways Television Can Make You Instantly Feel Better About Yourself!
Cheer up because: You have never been featured on TLC’s I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. Pat yourself on the back or the abdomen because your frontal lobe functions at a high enough capacity to […]
Five Things Every Parent Should Teach Their Kids Right Now!
No Hands Under 18 Can Touch Any Free Food Sample (This falls under Article 2 of the “Double Dipping Statute.”) Thank you Costco, Whole Foods and assorted grocery purveyors for your abundant free food samples. […]
