Right about now summer is sucking the life out of me. I don’t care if we managed to dip into the high 80’s for a couple of days because I’m still in a recovery program […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
Stalker – Sort Of
If someone tells me they’re bored I usually assume that they’re just not curious. How can you be bored when there is always so much going on? And I’m not talking about world events or […]
It’s A Dorm Room Dummy
*** This blog post is inspired by the Dear Snarky letter I received about moms spending thousands of dollars on dorm room decorations. There’s nothing I like more than dispensing unsolicited parenting advice and making […]
Dear Snarky – I Went Off On Some Cheating Swim Moms
Dear Snarky, I feel like my son got ripped off at a neighborhood swim meet and now I’m being called names because I complained about it. My son is seven and a super fast swimmer. […]
Meow!
So it’s come to this. My life has changed in a way I never would have imagined. You know I had big dreams for my limited time here on earth. I was going to be […]
The De-Clutter Challenge
I hate social media. Okay, perhaps I don’t hate it. It’s more that I find it aggravating. Go ahead and post 1,000 photos of yet another stellar European vacation or even your hot self wearing […]
Dear Snarky – Does Wingman Duty Include Pretending to Be Married?
Dear Snarky, My girl friends and I like to go to the bars a couple of times a month. I usually act as my best friends “wingman” and help introduce her to guys. Last week, […]
The Uhaul Years
Twenty-one years ago I thought being what the doctors called an AMA mom was no big deal. I admit to being a little taken aback when I was first referred to as “Advanced Maternal Age.” […]
Dear Snarky – Mean Moms Are Taking Over the Pool!
Dear Snarky, There are a group of mean moms that have taken over the pool. They have one mom stay after morning swim practice and save 16 pool lounge chairs. Then when the rest of […]
Arts Teachers Are The Real Masterpieces
As the school year closes I want to give a shout out to some of the unsung heroes in education – the music and art teachers. For those of you who think that the arts […]
Welcome to JFF – Jerk Free Flying
I’ve got a good story to tell you. It’s kind of one of those tales from the “olden days.” But that makes me sound like I’m working a Little House on the Prairie vibe and […]
Dear Snarky – A Greedy Grad Has Me Steaming!
Dear Snarky. I’m in the middle of a very awkward neighborhood situation. Recently, my family was invited to a high school grad party for our neighbor’s daughter. On the invite it said, “in lieu of […]
I’m Going To Tap That
It’s not an exaggeration when I tell you that I’m the least coordinated mammal ever to roam the grassy plains of the Midwest. I’m not even ashamed of it. Sure, getting picked dead last for […]
Selfie Spree
God help me I’m following advice from a Facebook meme. It wasn’t even one of those funny memes with cats and goats playing hopscotch or even an adorable meme with cuddling baby bunnies. No, the […]
Dear Snarky – Makeover Madness
Dear Snarky, My girlfriends and I are really angry over how a friend treated us. This friend dresses like a nun and as a gift to her we wanted to treat her to a surprise […]
The Mystery Of Motherhood
I have found a way to reach out to my deceased mother. It’s amazing. I feel like I’m actually with her. Sometimes I think I can even smell my mom’s Jean Patuou Joy perfume. No, […]
Dear Snarky – Help! My Husband Won’t Stop Farting
I’m at the end of my rope in regards to my husband and his selfishness. He’s lactose intolerant, like officially diagnosed by a doctor as being allergic to dairy, yet he’s still eating ice cream […]
Do I Suck At Being A Mother? ( Deep Thoughts At the Grocery Store)
I think I may be a bad mother. No, correction I think I may be considered a bad mother if you apply 21st century suburban perimeters to my parenting skills. Okay, I’m going to change […]
Dear Snarky – Poop Problems
Dear Snarky, What should I do? My neighbor has not one but THREE dogs. I know what you are thinking, “Oh, they probably bark a lot!” No, they POOP a lot and in my backyard […]
Take A Guess What The “Average” Wedding Costs
I’m lucky to be alive. A couple of days ago I thought, for sure, I was about surrender my mortal coil. I was driving on I-35 and came this close to death. It was totally […]
Just WTH On The Bell Sleeve & Other Fashion Crimes
Retail sales in women’s fashion have been sluggish for a couple of years. Even the mom stalwarts like J. Crew, Ann Taylor Loft and Banana Republic have been seriously struggling and I know why. Don’t […]
Dear Snarky – My Co-Worker Won’t Quit Singing
Dear Snarky, I’m about to lose my mind. I work with a woman who sings or hums constantly! If she’s sitting at her desk she’s humming. When she’s walking around she’s singing everything from show […]
Instafamous
Back in the day if you wanted your child to be a star chances are you had to pull a Jed Clampett and tell yourself “Californy is the place you ought to be.” (Sorry for […]
Random Act of Jerkdom
You hear, it seems more than ever, that people have gotten downright mean. I don’t buy it. If you step away from the Internet and social media and actually interact with your fellow humans I think […]
Dear Snarky – My Future Sisters-In-Laws Want to Drop Out As Bridesmaids
Dear Snarky, I’m getting married in four months and I’ve got two future sisters-in-laws that are threatening to drop out as bridesmaids and it’s all over my wedding dress. A couple of months ago we […]
Bear Aware
So it appears every vacation I take must be fraught with peril. Peril in the form of large mammal danger. Some of you may remember that a couple of months ago I shared my near […]
Baffled
There are a lot of things in life that baffle me. Some of these things are big issues like how anyone can deny climate change and then there are the small, niggling, things that get […]
Dear Snarky – A Lemonade Stand is Pissing Me Off
Dear Snarky, My entire cul-de-sac now hates our neighbor’s kids. Since the beginning of the month every single warm day the kids set up a lemonade stand and harass anyone walking, biking or even driving […]
Ode to a QuikTrip
I’ve been battling change for several weeks. I know I shouldn’t fight it. The change I’m warring with is, after all, a done deal. But, I’m still a bit angry and I feel adrift. You […]
High School Confidential
If you want to know the inside story on any high school you need to talk to the person who’s got the deep intel and trust me it’s not the principal or the counselors. The […]
Dear Snarky – I Think My Boyfriend Is Cheating On Me With His New Hair Stylist
Dear Snarky, I think my boyfriend (of almost five months) is cheating on me with his hair stylist. About 2 months ago he started going to one of those men’s only hair salons where the […]
Team Thin Mint
People are really ticking me off. I’ve been so angry that I’ve been on a social media unfriending spree. I’m so over all this hate. Seriously, what’s going on? How can people be so blatantly […]
Dear Snarky – I’m Invited to a Teacher’s Lingerie Shower
Dear Snarky, I just left my daughter’s second grade Valentine’s Day party and I’m sitting in my car typing this letter to you because I’m so mad. At the party the two room moms were […]
Are You Suffering From Post Valentine’s Day Depression?
Sad, perhaps feeling a little sorry for yourself, or just mightily ticked off? Don’t worry, I’m here for you during this egregious 24 hours known as the day after Valentine’s Day or what we in the […]
Truth In Exercising
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in the fitness arena. That’s my way of saying the last time I went to the gym yoga pants hadn’t been “invented.” (Yes, it was that long […]
Dear Snarky – The Over Gifting Room Mom
Dear Snarky, I’ve had it with the room mom at my son’s school. So far, we’ve been hit up to contribute money for teacher gifts to the tune of over $100. I’ve already paid in […]
So This Just Happened
So, um, yeah, this is embarrassing or sad or embarrassingly sad, but I think my emergency contact should be the drive-thru employees at my local McDonald’s. Apparently, these people really know me. It doesn’t hurt […]
Gladys Kravitz 2.0
I’ve entered the full Gladys Kravitz zone, and even worse, I’m not ashamed. Not one little bit. For those of you who aren’t acquainted with the wonder of Gladys she was a character on the […]
Would Your Neighbor Make the Cut to be on Your Zombie Apocalypse Team?
I spend a lot of time walking my dogs. Mainly because they’re wonderful and what they want they get. And then there’s the fact that if I don’t walk them they get really annoying, not […]
Dear Snarky – I Was Called A Bully At The Pediatrician’s Office
Dear Snarky, Last week I took my child to his pediatrician for his well child check up. As we were waiting for the doctor this one mother, who was staring at her phone the entire […]
Dear Snarky – A Family Member Is Killing Our TV Buzz
Dear Snarky, My cousin is driving my entire family crazy. Her new thing is to tell everyone about how bad TV is and to constantly point out that her family doesn’t even own a TV because […]
A Whale of a Tale
Who goes miles out into the Pacific Ocean in a raft, gets a beat down by the waves and weather, has a celestial vision of some sort because death is just one whale tale sashay […]
Dear Snarky – What Can I Do About the Slackers At the Gym?
Dear Snarky, I’m a gym rat and I hate January because all the slackers come out of the woodwork and pretty much ruin the gym. Hello, how hard is it to wipe down the equipment […]
I Spent My Christmas Morning With The TSA
I spent my holiday break traveling and as always it was an education. First, who knew that the airport would be packed on Christmas morning, like the hordes hauling ass from a zombie apocalypse packed. […]
Dear Snarky – I Don’t Want My Sister (The “One Upper”) To Be In My Wedding
Dear Snarky, I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in a human being. At Thanksgiving dinner, with my entire family, my boyfriend and I announced that we were engaged. Before the first person could […]
School Holiday Parties – Yep, There’s A Pecking Order
Ahh, December 22 I’ve been waiting for you to arrive. Today marks the official beginning of winter break. School is out and let the no homework or waking up early for 14 delicious days celebration […]
Death By Holiday Decor
Christmas is trying to kill me. You know when you buy life insurance and you’re asked if you engage in high-risk behavior like skydiving or mountain climbing? Well, I think another question to determine your […]
This Could Be the Sign of The Apocalypse – I’m Exercising In a Group Setting And By That I Mean With People Not My Dogs
There are only a few things that strike immediate, heart pounding, sweating through clinical strength deodorant, fear in me. Easily making the top five on that list is exercising in a group setting. I totally […]
Butt Hurt Over Santa Claus
Christmas is a magical time and one of the most wondrous things about being a parent when your children are very young is seeing them enjoy the pageantry of the holidays, most especially the Christmas […]
Dear Snarky – My Mother-In-Law Buys Gifts For My Kids and Then Keeps Them for Herself
Dear Snarky, My mother-in-law is literally buying herself gifts and trying to pass them off as presents for my two daughters. She collects Lladro ceramics and every Christmas and birthday she “gives” my daughters a […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 