Dear Snarky – What Can I Do About the Slackers At the Gym?

dear_snarky_logo-1Dear Snarky,

 I’m a gym rat and I hate January because all the slackers come out of the woodwork and pretty much ruin the gym. Hello, how hard is it to wipe down the equipment and not expel gas in public? Do you have any helpful hints for how I can  handle these situations for the next month until the gym newbies give up and go off and eat their Valentine’s Day candy?

 Signed, Serious About My Workout

Dear Serious,

 Is it wrong that I want you to fall off a treadmill and get a 10 pound kettle bell to the face? You, “gym rat” are what makes a lot of fitness centers suck. Instead of being a gigantic, judgmental ass why don’t you use your “rat” talents and help newcomers to the gym learn the rules such as wiping down equipment and wear to find the supplies to do the job.

 Because here’s what happens when you think you’re the only one good enough to be at the gym – it closes. Fitness centers have some of the highest business failure rates in the country. If you want to keep on being at your gym then it’s going to need new members to survive.

Your crappy attitude towards so-called “newbies” is going to make them go somewhere more welcoming and before you know it your gym is going to be out of business and you’ll be stuck with a 12 month membership that is worthless.

So, my suggestion, jerk face, is that you change your gym game and attempt to make every new member feel welcome.

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