What would you call a woman who just three weeks ago was at Disney World and now finds herself at Disneyland? I would call her a glutton for punishment. But it was not my fault […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
Dear Snarky – The Summer Reading Log Cheater
Dear Snarky, I’m so sick of kids cheating! School starts in a couple of weeks and all summer my kids have had to keep a reading log. Every year their school gives an award to […]
Starbucks Saga
So there I was at Starbucks minding my own business, drinking an overpriced “shaken” ice tea. (Seriously, I think they charge an $1 extra just for the privilege of having your beverage get what amounts […]
Are You Ready to Be Uncool?
There are a great many things to celebrate about getting older, mainly the fact that you are still here. But another thing I embrace about my advanced middle-aged years (oh and just for the record […]
Not So Magical – Part 2
You know your day at the Magic Kingdom has changed course considerably when your main concern is seeking air-conditioned shelter. It’s no longer about the rides instead your focus is on which activities you can […]
Not So Magical
I’ve seen the end of times. It’s Disney World in the summer. Oh, I know right now some of you are thinking, “Hey, you big idiot don’t you know better than to go to Orlando […]
Dear Snarky – Unwanted Parenting Advice
Dear Snarky, I am this close to punching my sister-in-law! We just got back from a family reunion and all she did was correct every child’s behavior but her own. She even went so far […]
Swim Team Moms: The Country Club Edition
Let’s be honest, first and foremost, having your child involved in a Country Club swim team is all part of your Summer Kid Avoidance Plan. What with morning and evening practices you’re lucky if you […]
Cray Cray at the Costco
Costco is not just a mega store. It’s entertainment and I’m not talking just about the thrill of buying in bulk, that’s a given. I’m talking about how almost every individual or family pushing the […]
Life Skills for the “Almost Adult”
I have a son who has recently graduated high school and while I’m proud of his academic knowledge (aka book learning) I feel he, along with his peers, are woefully undereducated in the real life […]
Dear Snarky – Swim Team Drop Out Drama
Dear Snarky, I recently let my 12-year son quit our huge neighborhood summer swim team. He’s a decent swimmer but he told me he hated waking up for 7 am practice and that it was […]
Mr. Fix It
It’s a phrase I dread hearing. When it happens I get all shaky and I feel like I can’t breath. Who would have thought eight words could throw me into such a panic but when […]
Dear Snarky – Smotherhood
Dear Snarky, My 12-year-old niece was coming to visit her cousins at the end of the month and my sister-in-law, who the family has nicknamed Smother, recently called and told me that the only way […]
Public Parenting
Are you kidding me? Has this mother lost her ever-loving mind? Seriously, she’s doing this at a convenience store during the lunch rush? These are the thoughts, along with some very bad language, rushing through […]
Wanted: Mom Lifeguards
The pools are officially open and resplendent with young lifeguards perched in their command post chairs and swinging their whistles. Every year I watch these toned and low BMI individuals and think that this whole […]
True Tori
I was ready. I had the house to myself. I had made sure all the doors were locked even the one out to the garage, which I almost never dead bolt. I then dug deep […]
Dear Snarky – How Not to Suck at Recruiting & Retaining School Volunteers
As the school year is about to end there’s a topic I decided desperately needed to be addressed – school volunteers. I get a lot of letters from mothers complaining either about how nobody volunteers […]
Your K-12 Cheat Sheet
Tomorrow I will be the mother of a high school graduate. (Excuse me while I wipe away the tears.)This means that I have done a complete maternal tour of duty of the K thru 12 […]
Chore Bores
I’m not jealous of people who have humongous houses, take amazing vacations or even of women who can pull off having Restylane injections that make them look like they just had their cheeks replaced with […]
Complaining Is My Hobby
I complain a lot and I’m proud of it. As far as I’m concerned complaining is an under appreciated form of expression. It’s responsible for most, if not all, of the greatest advances. Think about […]
Dear Snarky – Party Crashers
Dear Snarky, My friends and I would like some advice about what to do when a mom brings siblings to a birthday party? There are always a couple of mothers who think an invitation for […]
Tech Tramps
My husband is cheating on me – again. Don’t waste any time feeling sad or worrying about me, I’m used to it. He prefers romancing the stylish, sleek, slender types and I’m none of those […]
Dear Snarky – Little League Survival Tips
I get a lot a letters from parents about kid’s sports, but nothing has compared to the sheer volume of letters I’ve received this spring about Little League. Those of you who follow Snarky in […]
Brain Teaser
I’m feeling perturbed. I was up at my son’s high and noticed nothing had been done about a complaint, well really more of a concern, that I had shared with the principal, in what I […]
Dear Snarky – Competitive Easter Egg Hunting
Dear Snarky, Do you have any words of wisdom on how to keep an Easter Egg hunt family friendly? I come from a very competitive, large, family and we have a huge Easter Egg hunt every […]
The Quest For The Perfect Swimsuit
If you’re a woman in deep middle-age and enjoy shopping for a swimsuit then I doubt we could ever be friends. Our life experiences and view of the world would be so vastly different I […]
The Volunteer Score Card
(I wrote this opinion piece for my local newspaper last week and as of today I’m still getting hate mail. I’m a little confused to what ticked people off so badly. Oh sure, I knew […]
Dear Snarky – Separate Checks Anyone?
Dear Snarky, I have a group of girlfriends that go out to eat lunch together every Wednesday. My problem is one of the woman never pays her fair share of the lunch tab. We go […]
Dear Snarky – Baby Shower Shake Down
Dear Snarky, I feel like a bad person because I’m beginning to hate babies. To be more precise I hate baby showers. I have a friend who is pregnant and so far I have been […]
Radio Snarky – Swimsuits Ugh!
Here is some new Radio Snarky! Click below for a 60 second slice of Snark. https://soundcloud.com/snarkyinthesuburbs/swimsuits-ugh It’s coming. It’s going to happen before you know it. It’s been EVER SO s-l-o-w-ly creeping up on you. […]
The Road to Hell
If you ever feel like your family is in need of some special bonding time to reconnect and rejoice in togetherness than look no further than a 12-hour car ride to your spring break destination […]
Dear Snarky – Mom Friendship 101
I get a lot of letters from mothers about their feelings being hurt for a variety of reasons from not being invited to join the neighborhood supper club to feeling like their being shunned by […]
Sleep Shame
Tired is the new black. It’s fashionable and everyone seems to be wearing it. To be tired is a measurement of success. It means you’re busy doing something and the busier you are the better […]
Ache Free
Last week, I got a bruising social media beat down and not by discussing politics or religion. Oh no, this was a subject infinitely more volatile: motherhood. All it took was two words, one syllable […]
Dear Snarky – Fashion Victim
Dear Snarky, Last week, I went to a charity gala wearing an amazing formal gown and I was really looking forward to the evening. Big mistake. As I’m walking around the hotel ballroom I got […]
Spring Break(less)
Can we talk about Spring Break? The whole concept sounds lovely right? And I’m sure it is unless you’re traveling with my family to go on a ski vacation. Then it won’t be a break […]
Family Fight Night
Dear Snarky, I need your help. My new husband’s family is a hot mess. Any family event somehow turns into a competition. Sunday night we went to an Oscar party at my brother-in-law’s house and […]
Drive Thru I.Q.
Talk all you want about how quality schools are the sign of a good neighborhood I’ve got a better judge of a town’s character – it’s drive thru lane etiquette, specifically at McDonalds. You will […]
Cheer Mama Drama
Dear Snarky, I’m a mom to a 14-year-old daughter. High school cheerleading tryouts are in two weeks and it’s ruining my relationship with someone I thought was my best friend. We both have daughters trying […]
Event Planning
I got four invitations in the mail this week: Two are fund-raising luncheons, one is a gala and the last one requests the pleasure of my company for a “we’re going to honor someone really awesome […]
Party Pooper
Dear Snarky, I work in an office where we are always celebrating something. Sounds great right? But no, it’s not because every time we have a party it costs something. At least a couple of […]
Valentine Hangover
Are you suffering from V.D.H.? A Valentine’s Disappointment Hangover. Never fear my sweet one – Snarky Radio is here to help with this week’s 60 Second Snarky. And for those of you not wanting to click […]
Speed Dating and The Parent Teacher Conference
This afternoon I promise I’m going to be better. I’m not going to eavesdrop. My ears will not strain to hear every word that is being said. My cochlea will not quiver in auditory anticipation. […]
Battle of the Box Tops
Dear Snarky. I’m so sick of mothers cheating and cheating on stupid things like Box Tops awards. At my kids elementary school they collect Box Tops and every year there’s a contest to see which […]
Tusk, Tusk, Another Hyper Involved Parent
There are few things I dread more than a school project. I believe the diorama is evil and an instrument of Satan and my children’s science, history and invention fair entries have made me cry […]
50 Shades of Shut Up
Dear Snarky, I have a group of married mom friends that make me blush. I’m no prude but they talk about their love lives all the time. What happened to keeping this kind of stuff private? […]
The Case of the One Upper
Dear Snarky, I need your advice about how to handle a person who is a constant one upper. This woman drives me crazy no matter what you say, what kind of story you’re sharing she’s […]
Rest In Peace
(Some vintage Snarky about using church as my not so final resting place.) The best sleep I’ve ever experienced happened at church about 10 years ago. It was a legendary yummy, cozy snooze. I was […]
In 2014 I Vow to Continue . . .
New Year’s resolutions are an act of self-flagellation. In my case it doesn’t matter what I resolve to do it will inevitably end up with me gaining at least 15 pounds. The math goes something […]
Reflections On An Old Year
New Year’s Resolutions are for suckers. I try to never make any because about six days after I’ve committed myself to a life changing agenda I’m already abandoning ship on the U.S.S. Pledge to a Better […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 