50 Shades of Shut Up

dear_snarky_logoDear Snarky,

I have a group of married mom friends that make me blush. I’m no prude but they talk about their love lives all the time. What happened to keeping this kind of stuff private? Do you have any suggestions on how I can get them to quit with the over sharing?

Signed, My Ears Are Burning

Dear Ears,

I’m right there with you. I’d rather hear about someone’s colonoscopy than their love life. Yuck. I kind of, sort of, blame the whole 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon where it gave everyone permission to bring on the TMI. And about that TMI, my theory is the more someone talks about it the less someone is getting it – if you know what I mean. Seriously, if everything I’ve heard is to be believed then a significant portion of the middle-aged, female population is very, very, limber.

The way I see it you have 3 options.

Option 1 – Just zone out when your friends go into their adventures in bedroom land and think about your To Do list or chocolate cake which is always my zone out go to.

Option 2 –Call them out on their carnal fibbing.

Or Option 3 –  Which I think is much more fun. Make up some outlandish story that puts theirs to shame and I would suggest at least one time while telling the story to lick your lips, slowly, very slowly. This should shut them up at least for a while and give you a really good laugh.

If you have questions for Dear Snarky email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com 

9 thoughts on “50 Shades of Shut Up

  1. Pearl says:

    I agree. I am no prude, but, I believe the “50 Shades” series opened the pandora’s box of TMI. And yes, anyone who has to share, isn’t getting it. I got to see and hear about it at a Halloween party, complete with costumes. Would rather have eaten glass.

  2. Rhonda says:

    Sounds like solid advice. Ya know, people need to learn what to share with everyone, what to share with only best friends, and what to share with no one. People are so confused.

  3. Mindy says:

    Please don’t blame my imaginary husband Christian Grey for this lol. I don’t know what people who share their sex life are thinking. I mean seriously are we supposed to be impressed or are you trying to pimp out your husband to the highest bidder? No one wants the mental image of their friends doing it just ewww.

  4. Paige says:

    you had me at ” 50 shades of SHUT UP..” …. aHAHAAAHAAAhahahahaaa….!!!

    hey, old friend…….. the spine’s been taking center stage, lately,…… I’ve missed reading your snark, but I COULDN’T pass up a title like THAT…. and so very glad I didn’t (laughter being best non-narcotic and all that stuff, right?….) …. thanks, ever so much…. (might even be able to skip the next dose of Percocet …. …………… ….. … …………… ….( nah…. why would I wanna do THAT..??)

    Big Hugs!!

  5. Robin Steinfeld says:

    Well this is a reuccurring theme ….I remember back in 97 or 98 a friend had just taken a female lover & excitedly asked if I wanted to know how the sex was .I asked her if she’d ever read ” our bodies ourselves”, she replied no & wasn’t familiar w/ it nor “the joy of sex” ..I suggested she read both & reserve any BR remarks ,& that I wasn’t tittilated by (sorry just had to..) any details regarding her new adventures the wind kind of blew out (sorry again ) of her sails …..?Sigh. Some things never change

  6. Patrice Evans-Hunter says:

    Just watched you on Bethenny.
    So I decided to look on your blog.
    I like what you are doing here.
    Thanks for creating.

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