This is it. Fall 2015 is when I’m going to up my wardrobe game! I’m going really get out there and reinvent my look. This might be a bit of a problem because I don’t […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
Why You and I Won’t Be Running for President
If there’s a presidential candidate that you’re all agog over I’m jealous. So far, I’m not that fired up about the current menu of contenders. Not that I don’t give props to anyone that decides […]
Dear Snarky – The Mother of the Bride Keeps Wearing Her Old Wedding Dress
Dear Snarky, My beautiful daughter is engaged and recently I went with her to her soon to be sister-in-laws bridesmaids luncheon and I’m still having problems picking my jaw up from the floor! At the […]
I’ve Hit the Wall
I am so tired, exhausted really from all the religious brouhaha and posturing concerning Kentucky clerk Kim Davis and her refusal to issue marriage licenses to gay couples. The rallies, the fanfare, the presidential candidates […]
Confession Time: I Was In a Sorority
Here’s a shocker for you. I was in a sorority. I know, for many of you, I don’t seem the “type” to either want to be in sorority or, let’s be honest here, “sorority material.” […]
Dear Snarky – My Mother-In-Law Is a Party Pooper
Dear Snarky, I need help! This year my mother in law gave no gift or card to my daughter for her birthday or me for my birthday. My husband’s birthday was just two weeks later […]
Dear Snarky – Bible Betty Crocker is Ruining the Church Cookbook
Dear Snarky, My church is putting together a cookbook to commemorate it’s 50th birthday and sell at a Christmas fair to raise money for mission trips. Each church member was guaranteed, at least, one recipe […]
Calm Yourself
“Calm yourselves.” That’s what I wanted to say to a group of mothers I was eavesdropping on while I let my dogs enjoy the olfactory wonder that is playground wood mulch. These women, pushing toddlers […]
Dear Snarky – The Selfish Selfie
Dear Snarky, Please help me because I’m ready to disown a friend. I realize the problem I’m about to tell you may sound stupid, but its super annoying and I’m just so over dealing with […]
August – The Bipolar Month
I have a love hate relationship with the month of August. The hate comes, I think, from being water-logged. By now I have clocked so many hours in a pool or at a waterpark I […]
School Blues
I’m about to doing something that terrifies me. I’m going to bad mouth my school district. (Just to get the courage to say that I had to fortify myself with not one, but two Rice […]
Wanted: A Job
I’m about to embark on one of life’s most unpleasant tasks and I’m not talking about having to guzzle that pre colonoscopy gallon of goo. No, what I’m gearing up for is much worse. I’m […]
Lake-less
It’s not that I don’t like water. I love water, especially chlorinated water. Most summer days you can find me swimming laps at the city pool (just look for the woman in the swim skirt […]
Dear Snarky – Drunk Mean Moms Are Attacking Me On Social Media
Dear Snarky Last week were the country club swim and dive championships and there were a group of moms that were getting drunk. They were being loud and obnoxious so I went over to them […]
Dear Snarky – Help! A Rainbow & Unicorn Mom is Telling Everyone I’m a Bully
Dear Snarky, Thanks to a Rainbow and Unicorn mom I have started off the school year being called a bully. Every year my kids’ elementary school has a “Winning Reader Picnic.” This picnic is for […]
First Day of School Rules For Parents
Prayers have been answered! The first day of school is here. Praise the glory that is the number 2 pencil and all hail the college ruled notebook and three-ring binder. I will admit that starting […]
The Wind Beneath My Wings or How Not to Get Screwed Out of a Decent Seat On Southwest Airlines
There are a myriad of skills parents have to teach their children. We all know what the big ones are, but it’s the, let’s call them the lesser skills, the ones that don’t even make […]
My End of Summer Bucket List
As the the last full week of July continues to roast us like a s’more getting a charcoal tattoo I’ve decided it’s time to create my “End of Summer Bucket List.” First up is attempting […]
Just Say No to the Vegas Honeymoon Suite
I get why people love Las Vegas. It’s a place where you can go free range with your vices. For instance smoking, you can’t appreciate how far our country has come in eradicating cigarettes in public […]
Concert Phobia Part 2 – The Truth Will Set You Free
(Before you start reading I have to share with you the back story to this post. The first Concert Phobia piece was published in the Kansas City Star and it stirred up a crap ton […]
Concert Phobia
Attention Snarky readers before you begin pursuing this blog post I must share that in honor of the dog days of summer I have discounted (for a limited time) both my Snarky books to 99 […]
Summer Bragging Rights
One of the downsides of raising kids today is that parents have turned everything and I do mean e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g into a competition. For example, what do you call a second grade student who enjoys kicking […]
Dear Snarky – What Should I do About a Mother Who Cheated to Get Her Kid a Citizenship Award?
Dear Snarky, I know it’s summer but I’m still angry about something that happened the last day of school. My son is in elementary school and every year they have an awards ceremony. This year […]
Vacationing With Teens – What No One Tells You
It might seem like vacationing with your teenage children would be a lark, a breeze, perhaps even one of those golden moments in time when your joyous week of togetherness manifest into familial bonding heretofore […]
Excuse Me But I Can’t See Through Your Kid
Most parents think their kids have super powers as in super smart, super athletic and well just to save time on this list take pretty much any adjective that would look good on a college […]
Girl Problems
All the recent gender news has me thinking why anyone would want to be a woman. The hard truth is it’s a brutal business being female and it always has been. I’m sure even Betsy […]
Dear Snarky – The Hairy Back Man vs. The HOA
Dear Snarky, I don’t know whether to be embarrassed or angry. We recently moved to a new neighborhood that has a community pool. My husband and I bring our two young daughters there to swim […]
I Heart Kansas (and Missouri)
*This is a something I wrote for the Kansas City Star about the Missouri/Kansas border “wars.” I got my feelings hurt last week over something very silly – people insulting Kansas. Yep, I was offended […]
All I Really Need to Know I Learned From the Airport
If you want to learn important life lessons all you need to do is spend some time at any airport. Consider it a course in Reality 101 where your classroom is the Southwest Terminal and […]
For All The Moms Who Have Completed Their Elementary School Tour of Duty
I have my fair share of personality quirks. One of them is that I’m not very sentimental. For example, I didn’t need a box of Kleenex and waterproof mascara when my youngest child completed her elementary […]
Dear Snarky – Help, I Threw My Husband’s Family Overboard
Dear Snarky, I’m about to be disowned by my extended family. Yesterday, I anonymously called the cops on my husband’s relatives. They go out in their ski boats and NEVER have any of the kids […]
Graduation Overload
I’m so glad I don’t have a single child graduating from anything this month. Last year at this time I had a son finishing his senior year and a daughter (cue the drum roll) 8th […]
Dear Snarky – My Twin Won’t Let Me Get Botox
Dear Snarky, I’m 45 years old and I have an identical twin sister. I’ve been thinking for a long time about having some cosmetic surgery procedures done and I’ve scheduled appointments for Botox injections and […]
Dear Snarky – The Little League Briber
Dear Snarky, My son is 11 and plays Little League baseball. There is a boy on his team that is really ticking me off. This kid’s family has what I’m guessing are very nice seats […]
Myth Buster – High School Edition
You know what no one has ever asked me to do? Deliver a high school graduation speech. Not even when I was graduating high school did I make the “give a speech” cut. So, I […]
The Toilet Whisperer
There are so many things no one tells you about parenting. I’m talking real news you can use. For instance, not one book or person warns you about the almost impossible task of putting fitted […]
Dear Snarky – 4 Ways to Mother-In-Law Proof Your Kids
I get a lot of letters from women asking for help in dealing with difficult mother-in-laws. The letters run the gamut from mothers who still smother their adult children to what I would refer to […]
I Got An F In Homeschooling
Someone please explain to me how several weeks ago it was “breaking news” that a 22-year-old woman is pregnant, especially a young woman with no job, no formal education, who lives in the Ozarks and […]
Dear Snarky – More Cheer Mama Drama
Dear Snarky, My daughter is a varsity cheerleader at her high school and why that is great I’m afraid most of the cheer moms now hate me. The reason is I got sick of the […]
Ugh- Politics
Can we all join hands right now and say a prayer for all the Hawkeyes out there? And by this I mean the residents of Iowa who are of legal voting age. These poor put-upon […]
Dear Snarky – WTH On Gender Reveal Parties?
Dear Snarky, Would you please share with me your feelings concerning Gender Reveal parties? I just went to my first one, with at least 50 people there, and was made to feel like a loser […]
The Dog Park
If I had to make a top 10 list of my favorite things in life my dogs would be on it. I know I should feel bad that one of my siblings wouldn’t make the […]
Dear Snarky – Help, I’ve Lied To My Mom Friends!
Dear Snarky, I’m the mother of a soon to be kindergartener. All my pre-school mom friends are going to be sending their kids off to a private kindergarten in the fall. I kind of, because I […]
So It’s Come to This – The Butt Selfie
The good and bad thing about writing is that people are always suggesting story ideas. These suggestions are usually termed like this, “Hey, I’ve got something new for you to complain about . . .” […]
Dear Snarky – Grandmother-In-Law Problems
Dear Snarky, My husband is very close with his grandma. Actually, all the males in the family are close with her. However, all the females in the family despise this woman. She’s very sexist, and […]
My House Hates Me
If you want to have your heart broken all you need to do is buy a home that’s a fixer upper. It’s like falling in love with that boy in high school and telling yourself […]
When Easter Egg Hunts Go Bad Blame These Parents 🐣
Is there anything more delightful and innocent than an Easter egg hunt? The short answer is yes because I’ve been to a couple that had more in common with a mud-wrestling throw down at a […]
Free Ranging – For Parents Who Want to Be Left Alone
There are a lot of parenting styles. Some have catchy names like attachment, mindful or slow parenting (which to me conjures up images of children being put in a crock pot. It’s a very unsettling […]
Ode to My Mother Who Kicked Ass
Parenting gurus like to share the theory that by the time a child reaches the age of 10 mothers lose their place as the primary influencer in their kids’ lives. I was always skeptical of […]
I 35 – Satan’s Parking Lot
The road to hell is I 35. I know this because I’ve had a celestial vision while I was driving to Texas. Last week an angel, at least I’m pretty sure it was angel, (I’m […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 