Dear Snarky – Help, I Threw My Husband’s Family Overboard

Dear Sndear_snarky_logo-1arky,

 I’m about to be disowned by my extended family. Yesterday, I anonymously called the cops on my husband’s relatives. They go out in their ski boats and NEVER have any of the kids in life jackets. It’s so dangerous I won’t let my two children ride in the boats with them.

 We were all at the lake for a Memorial Day family thing and I just got sick of seeing my in-laws – mother, father, brothers, sisters just let all the kids ride in very fast boats that don’t even have one F’ing life jacket. So, I called 911 and reported them. Fast forward 2 hours later and they come back to the dock after being given multiple tickets by the boat cops and they’re facing a fine.

 My brother-in-law might even have to do jail time because the police, when they got on the boat, found an unregistered gun “hidden” under some ski tow lines.

 I said nothing about my part in this until my sister-in-law got a hold of my cell phone (without me knowing BTW) and went through my call history for the day which was only one number – 911 and figured out that I had called the cops on them.

 Now no one is speaking to me (after cussing me out) AND they think I should pay the fine since I’m the one who “narced on the them.”

 Do I pay the money to keep peace in the family or do I stand up to them and not care if they’re super pissed?

 Signed, Life jacket Mom

 Dear Life jacket, 

 There’s a lot going on here so let’s break this down:

 1)You are right kids should wear life jackets. It’s the law. In fact, as a former lifeguard, I think everyone should wear a life jacket on a boat

2)You’re relatives are idiots/lazy/cheap for not having any life jackets on their ski boats.

3)I love that you called the police!

 Yep, family harmony be damned if you repeatedly told this collection of nitwits to get some flipping life jackets on their boats and if they just kept on blowing you off then I see what you did as an act of love. You just wanted to keep them safe. It was a hug disguised as a phone call to the cops.

 So, that’s a great big no on paying any fine and as for your BIL with the unregistered gun, well there’s a juicy Facebook status update. Maybe he’s a hit man who shoots people on his boat and them dumps their bodies in the lake. (Where’s a CSI team when you need them?) Seriously, keep me posted on how this plays out. 

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice with an Attitude – please email me at or send me a private message on my Snarky FB page.


13 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – Help, I Threw My Husband’s Family Overboard

  1. Randall says:

    Hell yeah on wearing life jackets! I’m a volunteer water rescue worker and life jackets save lives. Any parent who would go out on a boat and not have their kid in a life jackets is a huge loser. You might as well call your boat the S.S. I Don’t Care About My Kids. Go get ’em Snarky!

  2. Virginia R Slusher says:

    Iwould like to comment on Texas! Really funny, liked it very much. Giving it to my daughter who lives In Texas now. Keep writing!

  3. Kim says:

    Note to the writer of the letter: The only thing you did wrong in this situation was not have a pass code on your cell phone.

  4. jodie says:

    Way to go for doing the right thing! Sometimes being the black sheep of the family can be the best thing in the world . . . ask me how I know :0)

  5. amy says:

    Sorry, WHAT? They had an unregistered gun, that was also unsecured, around kids? Was it loaded? These people are doing you a favor if they disown you. You don’t want someone so irresponsible about safety around your kids. They are lucky their kids are still alive. Absolutely DO NOT pay the fine. Do not give them another minute of your time either.

  6. AthenaC says:

    I know it’s easy to second-guess yourself when you feel like you are being punished for doing the right thing, but the bottom line is that they are lucky they are all still alive. Someone (or multiple people) could have easily died and instead they are mad because some meddling cops decided to, oh I dunno, enforce safety laws?

    It’s very possible that by calling, you prevented future deaths.

  7. RachelRae says:

    Wow. Such an insanely stupid family. Totally right on. Eventually someone would have either died/been maimed or they would have been ticketed anyway. Although, since the writer doesn’t mention her husband’s action/reaction in the letter, that is what really stuck out to me. Where on earth was he in all this mess?

  8. rupiedupie says:

    And about the SIL who snatched your phone and searched it…yet you are on the shit list with them?!? I yi yi. Guess you just earned the opportunity to vacation away from the outlaws from now on. What’s the husbands take on all of this?

  9. Maureen Sklaroff (@BlueBellsCS) says:

    They probably suspected you anyway, given that the SIL searched your phone. I once had to stand up to my SIL in a similar way. She was ruining her family’s life and another family’s life and just generally on a path to destruction and taking everyone with her. I finally gave her a slap in the face (metaphorical) and put some boundaries on what support she could have from us when she was behaving like that. She “disowned us” and we haven’t heard from her in almost a decade. Anyway, the long and the short of it was that despite her “disowning” us, she needed the slap in the face and shaped up because of it, in particular, it benefited her one-year-old son. You may very well have saved your nieces and nephews’ lives. That is worth whatever they say or do to you. You could also try telling them that you were trying to save them all from the indignity of earning Darwin Awards pot-posthumously. Not to mention, boat fines may be the least of their worries, CPS may get involved.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s