Boating, Boating Safety, Dear Snarky, In Law Problems, Parenting
by snarkyinthesuburbs

Dear Snarky – Help, I Threw My Husband’s Family Overboard

Dear Sndear_snarky_logo-1arky,

 I’m about to be disowned by my extended family. Yesterday, I anonymously called the cops on my husband’s relatives. They go out in their ski boats and NEVER have any of the kids in life jackets. It’s so dangerous I won’t let my two children ride in the boats with them.

 We were all at the lake for a Memorial Day family thing and I just got sick of seeing my in-laws – mother, father, brothers, sisters just let all the kids ride in very fast boats that don’t even have one F’ing life jacket. So, I called 911 and reported them. Fast forward 2 hours later and they come back to the dock after being given multiple tickets by the boat cops and they’re facing a fine.

 My brother-in-law might even have to do jail time because the police, when they got on the boat, found an unregistered gun “hidden” under some ski tow lines.

 I said nothing about my part in this until my sister-in-law got a hold of my cell phone (without me knowing BTW) and went through my call history for the day which was only one number – 911 and figured out that I had called the cops on them.

 Now no one is speaking to me (after cussing me out) AND they think I should pay the fine since I’m the one who “narced on the them.”

 Do I pay the money to keep peace in the family or do I stand up to them and not care if they’re super pissed?

 Signed, Life jacket Mom

 Dear Life jacket, 

 There’s a lot going on here so let’s break this down:

 1)You are right kids should wear life jackets. It’s the law. In fact, as a former lifeguard, I think everyone should wear a life jacket on a boat

2)You’re relatives are idiots/lazy/cheap for not having any life jackets on their ski boats.

3)I love that you called the police!

 Yep, family harmony be damned if you repeatedly told this collection of nitwits to get some flipping life jackets on their boats and if they just kept on blowing you off then I see what you did as an act of love. You just wanted to keep them safe. It was a hug disguised as a phone call to the cops.

 So, that’s a great big no on paying any fine and as for your BIL with the unregistered gun, well there’s a juicy Facebook status update. Maybe he’s a hit man who shoots people on his boat and them dumps their bodies in the lake. (Where’s a CSI team when you need them?) Seriously, keep me posted on how this plays out. 

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice with an Attitude – please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or send me a private message on my Snarky FB page.