Dear Snarky – Grandmother-In-Law Problems

Dear Snarky,dear_snarky_logo-1

My husband is very close with his grandma. Actually, all the males in the family are close with her. However, all the females in the family despise this woman. She’s very sexist, and her comments are often justified by “she’s just old-fashioned.” I don’t buy it. I’ve yet to meet a woman who is a total jerk because they’re “old-fashioned.”

She constantly tells women their “place” in the household and expects the females to do everything for the men without help.

I love my husband but I’m afraid to hurt him by telling him that I cannot stand this woman and do not want to see her. What do I do about my crazy grandmother in law?

Signed, Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

It sounds like you have less of a grandmother-in-law issue and more of a husband problem. Of course all the men in the family adore her. She’s probably been mandating spoiling these dudes all their lives. If you’re them what’s not to like about that?

 What these now grown ass men (and specifically your husband) need to do is put on their big boy britches and stand up for their wives. No more hiding behind grandma skirts and pretending they don’t see what’s going on.

 I’m not advocating being mean to a granny. What I am saying is that your husband needs to start being firm with his grandmother by letting her know that he has zero tolerance for anyone disrespecting the love of his life – that’s you by the way not his nana – just in case you were confused.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or private message me on my Snarky FB page.

7 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – Grandmother-In-Law Problems

  1. Emerson says:

    Been there. Done that. You hit the nail on the head Snarky! These man child’s love their grandma telling the women folk to wait on them hand and foot. It’s up to this woman’s husband to grow a pair.

  2. mamalion3 says:

    I don’t feel for you on this one! Exactly how old is she? Not to be tacky, but will the problem disappear anytime soon? You need to decide to what mat are you willing to go to on this one? Your husband very well might not like what you have to say on this and you might learn some things about him in the process that you would rather not know…. Blood in my experience is definitely thicker than gold bands and bath towels, so tread lightly. Will be praying for you!

  3. Emily says:

    How old is Grandma anyway? And if she’s so old fashioned, why isn’t she harping about the men not being breadwinners and the wives stay at home June Cleavers?

  4. Holley says:

    I agree with you & love your post.

    My husband is the only son but regardless my mother In law & sisters in laws treat all outsiders like outsiders unless they bring them in. They all loved me till my husband proposed then after that all hell broke loose. I was accused of having a mouth like a truck driver even though that’s not how I was & not how I was raised. I was a respectful person that respected my elders; I was raised in the south & Midwest & adored my grand parents who taught me well.

    In fact the issue was that I had a bubbly personality & was always happy. Being family oriented I insisted we move closer to his family. Big mistake…I’ve been treated like the dirt on the ground ever since. Our children aren’t even acknowledged by his parents, their bdays go unnoticed & I have no excuses for the inlaws…these are their full blooded grandchildren except my sister in laws are more needy & play the poor card (they’re not poor) so the inlaws time is monopolized by the sister in laws forcing their children in them.

    I’m ignored at family events, the brother inlaws are shunned as well, but being the female I’m more sensitive. My husband doesn’t have the guts to step up & defend me. I have no family nearby so we spend our holidays alone I think it’s incredibly sad that inlaws go out of their way to treat anyone this way & sad. I’m very family oriented & have done everything & gone out of my way to win this family over but nothing’s good enough. I’m also terminally ill & my young children & husband are suffering watching me fade & have no family support since my family is far away & my inlaws do not believe I’m even ill.

    So for anyone that is treating their children’s spouses like this I hope you think twice & realize that you should just accept what your child wants in his/her life & be supportive regardless of your personal opinions. My husband & I have been married 22 years & adore each other whereas their own daughters have poor relationships. It’s just sad seeing my kids suffer & I’m disappointed that my husband can’t stand up for us.

    Thank you for your blog! Great job!

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