Dear Snarky – WTH On Gender Reveal Parties?

tumblr_inline_n83ulw2umC1sy7t8zDear Snarky,

Would you please share with me your feelings concerning Gender Reveal parties? I just went to my first one, with at least 50 people there, and was made to feel like a loser because I didn’t bring a gift.

My question is why do you bring a gift if you don’t know the sex of the baby yet? And how has this become a thing? Am I wrong to think it’s just another excuse for people to shake down their friends for gifts?

Signed, Confused

 Dear Confused,

I admit to being baffled over the concept of the gender reveal party so I did some digging (which dear_snarky_logomeans at least 8 minutes of extensive googling) and I blame Pinterest. Somebody a couple of years shared some pics of a super cutesy is it a boy or girl cake and voila – you have the entertainment behemoth that is the gender reveal.

Now, that we have that mystery solved take a deep breath and let these words soothe you. You are not alone. The Gender Reveal party is goofy. Okay, maybe not goofy, but I’m going to take a stand and say People of Earth can we, for the love of all that his holy, quit turning every life event into a party where friends, business associates, co-workers, people you nod at in church or the grocery line and neighbors six houses down and to the left are required to bring a gift?

 So, based on that petite rant – no you were not wrong to arrive at the party empty-handed. In fact, I applaud you for going at all because I have research (yes, research) that shows folks who have gender reveal parties will also be inviting you to at least 4 or more baby showers.  They’ll get that gift from you one way or another – trust me.

 So, stand strong, hold your head up high, and know that you did nothing wrong. You know except be friends with someone who would subject 50 of their “closest” friends to such an event.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky “21st Century Advice with an Attitude” email me at or private message me on my Snarky Facebook page.  


12 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – WTH On Gender Reveal Parties?

  1. danellcollins says:

    I had my gender reveal party with a bunch of Drs and nurses in scrubs under bright lights and with DRUGS! I was laid up for days after that it was so much fun :{)

  2. AthenaC says:

    I can confirm that these are most definitely a thing. Not my thing, because it requires organization and planning, two things which I don’t really do. At all. Plus I’m so impatient – the second I can find out what I’m having, I want to know and I want to tell everyone. What’s the fun in waiting?

  3. Aimee S says:

    I straddle the line between this being absurd or cute-on one hand the idea of yet another event forcing guests to bring you gifts is just over the line and ridiculous-that is the point of the baby shower.
    On the other hand, I like the simple form of this idea-getting together with close family/friends and eating a cake which reveals the gender-no gifts involved.
    But since nothing in our modern world can be simple anymore, I lean towards saying NO to this new and unnecessary trend…jmo

  4. wisegal says:

    I think it’s fine for people who are close and care deeply about you. Grandma, Grandpa, aunts, uncles etc. There is really no need to invite everyone you know. Also, I think that gifts should not be necessary or expected at this type of event, especially if you are going to have a baby shower in addition to the gender revel.

  5. Carla says:

    Ok so don’t light your torches just yet, but I had a gender reveal party. It wasn’t even my idea. It was my SIL. It was JUST immediate family. Parents and siblings only, so about 8 people total. My husband and I made the cake ourselves, it wasn’t a fancy shmancy one from a bakery. We served a nice deli tray and said no gifts. And I loved it! I really did. It was so exciting to see everyone so excited. So I think, if done tastefully, it can be a wonderful get together and a beautiful memory.

  6. SMB says:

    Hi Snarky,
    I too was baffled , about a gender reveal party. I live in a gay friendly area. My first thought was, well, this is something new; thinking of outfits people may wear, or surgery results shown off. Oh, you mean babies. The questioner is well clueless an most of us are about this non event. It’s OK to show up empty handed unless the honoree really does need new underwear.

  7. memphismandysue says:

    Thank goodness I haven’t been invited to one of these. My biggest problem with them is the gender of the baby shouldn’t really matter, the fact that there is one should be enough. I also hate the idea of placing our children into gender specific roles before they are even here – pink dresses for girls and blue rompers embroidered with “boy things”.

  8. scoopace says:

    I’ve never understood why parents want to know the gender beforehand anyways, When I had my kids, i had people who were mad (as in not speaking to me) at me because I didn’t find out the gender of mine beforehand. Here’s my rational on not finding out and it goes along with the “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” lines. If you find out the gender, then you will want to pick out a name. Once you have the name, then you are going to want to make plans/dream/goals about the wonderful life of said baby and by the time the poor kid is born, it’s got so many expectations placed on him or her that it will never be able to live up to them all. Give the kid a clean start and don’t find out anything other than health related issues before it is born. Besides while Assia Wilmer Rose-Smith sounds like an awesome when your brain is all pumped up on those pregnancy hormones, your kid will hate you for it later. Best to meet the kid first, I always said, but then again if I’d had triplets or quints, I might be singing another tune.

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