Dear Snarky. I’m so sick of mothers cheating and cheating on stupid things like Box Tops awards. At my kids elementary school they collect Box Tops and every year there’s a contest to see which […]
Dear Snarky, I have a group of married mom friends that make me blush. I’m no prude but they talk about their love lives all the time. What happened to keeping this kind of stuff private? […]
Dear Snarky, I need your advice about how to handle a person who is a constant one upper. This woman drives me crazy no matter what you say, what kind of story you’re sharing she’s […]
Dear Snarky, I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a decent New Year’s Eve. I’m a mom to three kids. The youngest is six and after we had our third child my husband and […]
Dear Snarky, I don’t mean to be ungracious but every year my mother-in-law gets me the worst gifts. It’s like she goes out of her way to hurt my feelings. From a Cooking for Dummies […]
Dear Snarky, I’m so angry! Every year my sister-in-law does one of those braggy holiday newsletters but she carries it to the extreme by being “oh isn’t my family so great” and then she gets […]
Due to the volume of Halloween help letters I received this week I’m going to do something a little different – I call it Speed Snarky. Five letters, five rapid fire answers Dear Snarky, […]
Dear Snarky, My daughter is 13 and a group of her friends want to go as devils for Halloween. I have zero problem with her being a devil. What I do have a problem with […]
Dear Snarky, My twins have just started the first grade. I love their school but I do have a couple of issues with things like school pick up and drop off, homework assignments and the cafeteria. […]
Dear Snarky, Our neighborhood has turned into a battle over dog poop. It’s gotten so bad I’m afraid to walk my dog. Everyone one is accusing everyone else of not picking up their dog’s poop. […]
Dear Snarky, My two kids are on the neighborhood swim team and a couple of parents have noticed that two mothers are cheating so their kids can win. They do this by being the time […]
Dear Snarky, Last month my son went with his best friend’s family to Disney World. I paid for my son’s airfare and all his Disney expenses including food. I even gave the family $200 to […]
Dear Snarky, I would love your advice about what to when it seems like you’ve adopted an extra kid for the summer. I have a 10-year-old child (My across the street neighbor.) who shows up […]
Do you any advice on how to gracefully get out of attending Family Reunions? Last summer I was guilted into going to five! It was miserable and in my opinion a complete waste of time. I’d say most of the people at the reunions didn’t even know me or my family. So, really what’s the point?
Signed, Not My Idea of a Good Time
Dear Not My Idea of a Good Time,
Reunions are a combination of an I.R.S. audit and being a contestant in a beauty pageant. You get a financial shake down by virtual strangers and your appearance is judged by people who still wear baby blue eye shadow. Not usually the stuff of great times. Sure, some families have their reunions at Disneyworld or the beach? You get their Christmas cards or see their Facebook posts with everyone decked out in white linen shirts (with just the slightest hint of a wrinkle) that shows off their sun-kissed skin with the sapphire blue rolling waves behind them as an ocean breeze gently tosses their hair. Unfortunately, most of us go to reunions held in musty fellowship halls or swamp adjacent mosquito enriched picnic areas.
My advice is that you put your family on a reunion rotation schedule. Go to one reunion a summer and be firm with your mother, grandma, and great aunts that that’s all you’ll be attending. Anyone can handle one reunion a year – right? It might not be a blast, but seeing your extended family is full of life lessons. For example, my husband’s family reunion serves as a scared straight program for my kids. They can see what the future holds when you give in to the pull of the dark side of your gene pool, barely graduate high school and think a toothpick is a fashion accessory.
So grab your bug spray, make your best covered dish recipe, and smile. You’re only doing this one time a year.
If you have a question for Dear Snarky message me on Facebook at Snarky In the Suburbs or email me at email@example.com
Dear Snarky, I am dreading, no make that fearing, getting into a swimsuit this summer. I’m not huge, but I’m not what you call skinny either. I’ve got four kids, all elementary school age, and […]
Dear Snarky, This week marks the dreaded, or at least by me, Teacher Appreciation week. You know the one where the class mom sends out fifty emails basically making you feel that if you don’t […]
Dear Snarky, Why don’t I get a Mother’s Day? I’m the mom to three kids all under the age of 7 and yet every Mother’s Day it’s all about my mother-in-law. We go to church […]
Dear Snarky, I’ve heard you mentioned before that you have moved around the country a lot. My family is about to move to the West Coast and I was wondering if you had any Snarky […]
Dear Snarky, For Christmas my children ages 2 and 3 got some backyard plastic play structures. One is a yellow cottage, the other is a one of those fort things with a slide and they […]
Dear Snarky, What would do when a neighborhood Easter Egg hunt goes bad? Our Homeowners Association held our Annual Easter Egg Hunt on Saturday and it got ugly. There is usually one or two parents […]
Dear Snarky, I am new to the whole elementary school thing. I have twin girls in the first grade and I’m stunned by all the fundraisers. Since August I have bought gift wrap, candy, magazine […]
Dear Snarky, Is it wrong that I hate Date Night? I totally love my husband, but the whole Date Night thing is killing me. I have three kids ages 4, 5 and & 7. By […]
Dear Snarky, I’m the proud mother of a beautiful 4 month old son. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. My son is healthy and the love of my life. My problem […]
Dear Snarky, My son is in the 3rd grade and this is his first year to participate in the school Science Fair. I’ve helped him decided what he wants to do, bought the supplies and […]
Dear Snarky, On Saturday my daughter, who is in the 6th grade, had invited a new friend to come over and spend the night. She was very excited about this until she got a text […]
You may not know this, but I get a lot of emails and messages on Facebook asking for advice – as in WWSD – What Would Snarky Do? Today I debuted a new weekly segment […]