Dear Snarky – How Do I Tell My Husband Date Night Sucks?

dear_snarky_logoDear Snarky,

Is it wrong that I hate Date Night? I totally love my husband, but the whole Date Night thing is killing me.  I have three kids ages 4, 5 and & 7.  By Friday Date Night I’m exhausted, like don’t want to shave my legs exhausted. Add in picking up the sitter, getting everything ready for the sitter so I can leave the kids for a couple of hours, getting all dressed up etc and I’m about to cry. All I really want to do is collapse on the couch. Should I tell my husband how I feel? I don’t want to hurt his feelings or have him think I don’t want to spend time with him.

Signed, Date Night Hater

Dear Date Night,

Trust me you are not alone in your determined dislike of Date Night. Who thought up Date Night anyway? The Restaurant and Movie Theatre Marketing Associations. What most mom’s need is a “Leave Me Alone Night.”  A night where you can get in your pajama’s at say 6 o’clock, snuggle in your bed or on the couch and watch all those TV show’s you’ve DVR’d while eating Reese Peanut Cups and washing them down with wine or the adult beverage of your choice. That’s seriously great – right? 

When I had very young children I came clean with my husband about my aversion to Date Night and suggested instead of taking me out to dinner and a movie I’d love it if he took the kids instead. You know what that got me? Almost four glorious hours alone in my house. It was a win-win for him. He got to spend time with the kids and came home to a much happier wife. Sure, you need alone time with your husband, but you also need just plain old time alone. So, I suggest you tell your hubs how you feel and I bet he’ll more than happy to cut back on Date Nights in favor of a few very special Leave Me Alone evenings. 

*If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice With an Attitude please email me at or PM me on my Snarky Facebook page. 😉


11 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – How Do I Tell My Husband Date Night Sucks?

  1. Ty Erd says:

    I should be thankful that my hubby wants date night, but I’m not. And he taking the kids and giving me time alone? Hah.

  2. Steff says:

    I LOVE date night…..have not had one in over 8 months, and am SOOO looking forward to going to see GI Joe with my husband next week in the theatre after he takes me out to dinner. I don’t dress up, and will probably wear sweatpants….but I WILL love holding my husband’s hand while we watch the movie!! 🙂

  3. Barbara says:

    I think anybody who lets anything (society) or anyone (girlfriends) else tell them what to do has more problems with their relationship than a “date night” is going to fix. Every relationship is different, at a different stage, etc. so…it is in need of different things. When you are kind, considerate, and communicating with each other, then you are strong.
    Besides, nothing says “I love you and was thinking of you” more than a route 44 coke with extra ice from Sonic along with 5 minutes to sit and enjoy it any day of the week in my book. It is the little things that should mean the most to you.

  4. the "evil other woman" says:

    “Who wants to get dressed up on a Friday night ?”
    I DO !
    You should be thankful your husband still wants to take you out and show you off. He enjoys it.He is proud to be with you and wants romance & adult interaction.
    He doesn’t want to take the kids out for pizza , alone.
    He has worked all week too.
    He sounds like he is “ripe” for the picking !
    So when you find out he is cheating on you, and you are so dumbfounded, as to why ?
    Just remember this “snarky” blog you seem to be so proud of.
    When it’s 9:00, he isn’t home yet… maybe he is with me, all dressed up on a Friday night ! xo

  5. Chez Gordon (@Chezabelle13) says:

    When our kids were younger once a month we would have one of their grandmothers take them for a weekend..we had the house to ourselves for an entire weekend. Sometimes we went out, sometimes we stayed in an just enjoyed each other.

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