Dear Snarky – The Case of the Fibbing Friend


Dear Snarky,

On Saturday my daughter, who is in the 6th grade, had invited a new friend to come over and spend the night. She was very excited about this until she got a text about 30 minutes before the girl was supposed to come over that said, she was sick and couldn’t do the sleep-over. My daughter was disappointed, but of course, understood. Fast-forward one hour – where my daughter and I see her “sick” friend at the mall with 3 other girls. I wanted to go over and chew her “friend” out, but instead did nothing. What do you think I should have done? 

Signed, Margaret

Dear Margaret,

Pat yourself on the back you did the right thing by not approaching the child who had a remarkable recovery from her illness. This whole scenario was a valuable life lesson for your daughter. First, she learned a whole lot about this girl’s character and should carry this information with her throughout her middle school and High school career. Secondly, it demonstrates a total lack of home training for a parent to let her child pull the “Let’s pretend I’m sick and bail on the sleep-over because I just got a better offer from someone else.” So, give yourself another pat on the back because you would never allow your daughter to behave this way.

As for what you should have done upon sighting the “friend” at the mall let me share with you what I did when my daughter was given the heave-ho by a “friend” upon receiving a perceived better offer.

I had my daughter text her “sick” friend, who really went to another girl’s house, to inquire about her health and then add “I’m so sorry you couldn’t come over. My mom said she was going to take us to get mani/pedis. It’s was going to be total spa day! It took a total of 36 seconds before the “friend” texted back, “OMG, maybe I can come over. Can we go in one hour?” I told my daughter to reply with, “My mom says now it’s just going to be a mother daughter thing – sorry 😦

Did I take my daughter out for a mani/pedi ? NO. Because I don’t believe in dropping $60 at a nail salon or teaching my child that all disappointments in life can be cured by spending money because you know what that leads to don’t you?  A grown daughter, on husband number 4, with three kids living in your basement while she files for bankruptcy protection from her creditors. Did we do mani/pedis at home? Why yes we did.  We’re lessons learned about friendship? Yes. Did my nails look spectacular? Also yes. And after our fingers and toes were all gussied up we headed straight towards the belly of the social media beast for all adolescents – Instagram. My daughter uploaded a darling photo of her just manicured toes. The friend who ditched her commented “I wish I was with you.”  

Advantage: My daughter.

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