Dear Snarky,
I am new to the whole elementary school thing. I have twin girls in the first grade and I’m stunned by all the fundraisers. Since August I have bought gift wrap, candy, magazine subscriptions, spirit wear and dropped a bundle at the book fair. Now, parents are being asked or you could say bullied into attending an “adults only” fundraiser for the school AND donating something to the silent auction. It’s being held at a Country Club and tickets are $75 a person! I want to skip it because I feel I’ve given my fair share to the school. What would you do?
Signed Margaret
Dear Margaret,
Do not walk, but run as fast as you can to buy a ticket to the Adults Only School Fundraiser. Trust me on this it will be the best $75 you’ve ever spent in your life. These parent parties fueled by an open bar will provide you with delicious entertainment. Behold the slightly to totally intoxicated fathers getting into a bidding war on a live auction item that results in a throw down. See the PTA president get tanked and dance most inappropriately with someone who IS NOT her husband, but the female PTA Vice President. Rejoice when the snooty home room mom who always forgets your name makes a pass at the principal.
Good times can not even begin to describe it. Even better if your school parents only fundraiser has a 1980’s theme, which my research has shown is the number one choice for these parent parties. Get ready to howl with laughter as the majority of the moms at your children’s school get their 80’s version of Madonna on. I’m not kidding when I tell you at least one mom is going to walk into that party in a cone bra. Now, don’t tell me that’s not worth $75.
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Snarky in the Suburbs 