Dear Snarky for Friday, April 5

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Dear Snarky,

What would do when a neighborhood Easter Egg hunt goes bad? Our Homeowners Association held our Annual Easter Egg Hunt on Saturday and it got ugly. There is usually one or two parents that get a little overly excited about the egg hunt, but never in my 20 years of living here have I witnessed parents, mostly dads, get what I would call very aggressive in helping their kids get eggs. We had dads shoving kids out-of-the-way so their kid could pick up an egg. Children were also tripped and we had a couple of dads that took their kids baskets, leaving their kids to watch as they, the parent, got the eggs! I’m the “special events” coordinator for the HOA, that means I plan the parties and I’m ready to suggest at the next board meeting that we stop the Easter Egg Hunt.  What would you do?

Signed, Disappointed

 

Dear Disappointed,

First, don’t take it personally. Easter Egg hunts have gotten so out of control that some communities have discontinued them. When my son was 3, two dads, (who I just want to add were also Little League coaches) almost punched each other during a – wait for it- CHURCH Easter Egg hunt where the eggs didn’t have candy in them, but bible verses! Blessed be the irony!  Sadly, this overly competitive species of dad you’re describing is here to stay and it seems they’re increasing in number. My question is where is the wife telling her husband to take a chill pill? Oh, that’s right she’s probably taking pictures of her hubs, tripping an 8-year-old, to put on her Facebook page.

I would suggest taking a year off from the hunting of eggs and have your neighbors gather for a spring party where kids can decorate an egg-shaped cookie and have every family bring a canned good for a food bank. It sounds like your HOA needs some good karma and this might just help it along.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky please email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com

***For all things wonderfully Snarky go to www.snarkygear.com where you can find T-shirts, ecards for Facebook and my book – Snarky in the Suburbs Back to School.  Here’s a little ditty about it:The Spring Creek Elementary School PTA board (a coven of Mean Moms dressed in Uggs, yoga pants, and dermal filler) is up to no good.  Wynn Butler (middle-aged, uncool, and not bringing sexy back) is determined to find out what’s going on. With help from her two kids, a Roomba vacuum turned mobile surveillance drone, and a few good friends, Wynn launches a covert investigation that leads to the “mother of all revenge capers” at the school’s annual Fall Festival.

 If you’ve ever fantasized about smoke bombing the idiot parent who has yet to master the fine art of the school drop-off lane, or standing up and shouting, “Liar, liar, Botox on fire” during a PTA meeting, then this delicious tale of payback is for you.

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4 thoughts on “Dear Snarky for Friday, April 5

  1. peachyteachy says:

    That church egg hunt sounds like one heck of a good time. Notice my judicious restraint in using the word “heck,” when its predecessor would, in fact, fit the situation so much better.
    Should your HOA, in its infinite wisdom, choose to perpetuate the bloodbath, perhaps a well-marked adult barricade and strongly worded email “blast” would make the point.
    I do like the idea of resurrection of canned goods, though.

  2. Grace Alexander says:

    My 5 year old son (the child of two atheist moms) attends an amazing church run kindergarten. For Easter they did the best egg hunt I have ever seen.

    They had each child bring in twelve eggs early in the week. The teachers mixed them up, then separated them into piles of twelve again. Each group of twelve were individually labeled with one of the sight words the class has been working on, and corresponding words were attached to the children’s baskets.

    The eggs were hidden in the playground, and the kids set loose. They could find all the eggs they wanted, but could only collect the ones that matched the sight word on their basket.

    As baskets filled, the older ones started helping the younger ones find “their” eggs. It was a happy, cooperative event unmarred by parental idiocy, and all the kids had a great time. I was thrilled and so were the other parents!

  3. notexactlysuburbanmom says:

    Not a snarky response, but one that worked for our city. Separate the egg hunt into two groups: Toddler to 2nd grade, and 3rd grade+. Then rope off their “hunting” areas and hang “no parents beyond this point” along the tape. If anyone complains, explain the parents were jeopardizing the future of continuing egg hunts all together by their attempts at “helping” their children – the safety of the kids is first, so the parent’s don’t need to be inside the hunting perimeter.

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