Dear Snarky – Halloween Q & A

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Due to the volume of Halloween help letters I received this week I’m going to do something a little different – I call it Speed Snarky.  Five letters, five rapid fire answers
 
Dear Snarky, I’m a tired mother of 6 month old twins. I want to go to my neighbor’s Halloween party but the invite says – Costume Required. Ugh. Who has time to put together a costume?
 
That’s an easy fix. Just go as yourself, no make up, maybe some comfy sweats and wear this name tag; Hello, my name is Exhausted.  Trust me, any mom at the party will understand.
 
Dear Snarky, My son’s school has a no candy or sweets policy for their classroom Halloween parties. We’re supposed to bring vegetables, fruits and cheese! I want to sneak in candy or at least some Rice Krispy Squares. Do I dare?
 
No, you do not dare. I have your back on wanting to share some magical, sugary goodness with the kids but you must comply with school policy. As much as you disagree with it don’t be the mom who thinks she’s too cool to follow the rules. 
 
Dear Snarky, I want my kids to go trick or treating but our church is having a Halloween alternative called a Happy Harvest Festival. I’m afraid to do both because I don’t want the members of my church to be mad at me.
 
If you want to go trick or treating do it! If you go to a church where you’re afraid – change churches.
 
Dear Snarky, I’m a nutritionist at a local children’s hospital and I feel conflicted about handing out candy. Do you think it’s okay to give pencils?
 
Well, you won’t be the favorite neighbor, but go ahead and do what you gotta do. I’d at least check into buying those little cans of play dough. There’s nothing less fun then getting a pencil in your Trick or Treat basket.
 
Dear Snarky, What age do you think is too old to trick or treat?
 
Unless you’re escorting younger siblings my rule is once you’re in high school your trick or treating days are officially over. Also in a survey I did on my Snarky in the Suburbs Facebook page 13 was the average age most moms said they made their kids retire the candy bag. Nothing irks me more than teenagers who can drive and vote showing up at my house, not even bothering to wear a costume, and asking for candy. Yeah, to that I just say no can do.
 
 
*If you have questions for Dear Snarky email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or private message me on the Snarky in the Suburbs Facebook page.


One thought on “Dear Snarky – Halloween Q & A

  1. Julie says:

    To the health-conscious folks out there who don’t want to give out candy: don’t give away those tiny boxes of rock-hard raisins, or your house will get egged! Some better options are: fun-size packets of pretzels (I think Snyders makes them), sugarless gum, rubber spiders, stickers, or other toys.

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