One of my family’s favorite games last month was to play the, “What am I going to do when the quarantine is over?” Of course, first on the list is to leave the house with […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
Dear Snarky – My Sister-in-Law is Lying About Where My Niece is Going to College
Dear Snarky, I’m ready to punch my sister-in-law right in the face. She is outright lying about where her daughter is going to college and scamming people. This woman posted on Facebook and Instagram that […]
Hair Raising Quarantine Issues
If there’s one thing the lock down has taught me it’s that I’m now so over my family. Wait, that’s not what I intended to say. Was I thinking it? Yes, but I did not […]
Dear Snarky – My Mom is Trying to Buy Her Way Into My Labor and Delivery Room
Dear Snarky, I’m nine months pregnant with my first child and at this point in the lock down I’m only allowed to have one person in the delivery room with me when I give birth. […]
Clueless in the Cul-de-Sac
Who are these people in my neighborhood? As the official Gladys Kravitz (the nosey next-door neighbor from the classic TV series “Bewitched”) of my hood I’ve been flummoxed by the number of people out and […]
Dear Snarky – My Husband is Having a Quarantine Midlife Crisis
Dear Snarky, I love my husband very much but I’m afraid he’s about to ruin his life and our finances. He’s always wanted to be an artist but became an accountant instead. Since he’s been […]
A Failure at Masking My Anxiety
I swear I wasn’t going to write about the coronavirus. I wanted to write about something that would take everyone’s mind off of our current situation. The problem is I have nothing, nada, zero, zilch, […]
Dear Snarky – My MIL Has Gone Quarantine Crazy and is Planning a Party That I Don’t Want
Dear Snarky, My mother-in-law is driving me crazy. I had a baby in February and since the lock down went into place she has been blasting me with texts, phone calls and emails about how […]
It’s All About the Flour Power
Well, this couldn’t suck more could it? Yes, I get it things could be worse, much worse. So, slow your roll on sending me that email. But in terms of things being suck worthy I’m […]
Dear Snarky – I’m Getting Attitude For Taking a Pass On Our Family Easter Dinner
Dear Snarky, My parents and sister are acting like spoiled brats and being totally clueless about social distancing. Not only are my parents, who are in their late 60s, still going to the grocery store […]
Covidiots
When we make it through the other side of this Covid-19 nightmare I’m hoping future generations won’t look back and say, “What a bunch of idiots.” Because that’s what I’m thinking right now – idiots. […]
Dear Snarky – I was invited to a virtual bridal shower that I think is a shakedown for cash
Dear Snarky, A sorority sister sent me an Evite to a virtual wedding shower. The Evite suggests that instead of gifts we Venmo her money. The reason she gave is that she didn’t want to […]
Hand Wringing About Hand Washing
The coronavirus has taught me a lot of things. For example, who knew that after spending five plus decades on this planet I really didn’t know how to wash my hands. I always considered myself […]
Dear Snarky – Coronavirus = Family Fury
*Almost all of the letters I’ve gotten the past several days have, in some way, been about the coronavirus. So, because of this strange time we’re living in I decided to answer a couple of […]
The “Barrister of the Air”
I love traveling for all the obvious reasons and for the fact that it never disappoints in giving me something to write about. For example, as soon as I got on a plane bound for […]
I’m the Real Cookie Monster
True confession time here. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookies for more than forty years. As I’m writing this I’ve got a shiny foil sleeve of Thin Mints on […]
Dear Snarky – Overheated at the Office
Dear Snarky, I work with a woman who is temperature control freak. She complains that she is always freezing. It could be the middle of August and she would say she was “sooo cold.” Because […]
Dear Snarky My Life Coach Embarrassed Me
Dear Snarky, I need your help to get someone banned from their job. I have been seeing a life coach for several months. I really liked this woman and I found her advice helpful. Our […]
Sprinkling Our Outrage
The human brain is fascinating. It lets us conveniently forget unsettling facts and allows us to process information in a way that shields us from thinking too deeply or even logically. My current deep thoughts […]
Dear Snarky – I Tried to Give a New Mom at School the Inside Scoop and it Backfired
Dear Snarky, A new family has moved into our neighborhood. One of the kid’s is in my daughter’s class. I met her mother and she seemed really nice. The problem is there’s a mom at […]
Pet Therapy For Troubled Times
I recently thought I might need some pet therapy. My dogs and cat are just fine, thank you and I don’t need a licensed emotional support animal because according to the quickest of Google searches […]
Dear Snarky – The Super Bowl Ruined My Super Proposal
Dear Snarky, The Super Bowl ruined my engagement and I don’t know what to do about it. My boyfriend of almost two years had planned to ask me to marry him during the Super Bowl. […]
Family Drama Can Be a Royal Pain
Family drama is fascinating especially when it’s not your family having all the drama. This is why I’ve been keenly interested in the whole Meghan Markle/Prince Harry saga. It’s like a “Real Housewives” reunion show […]
Dear Snarky – Is It Wrong to Keep My Super Bowl Party Chiefs Fans Only?
Dear Snarky, I’m so mad right now when I should be in a great mood. Finally, after 50 years, the Kansas City Chiefs are going to the Super Bowl. I have been a loyal Chiefs […]
Why Can’t Women Just Be the Boss and Other Reflections on the Word Bossy
People I’m worried. I’m not feeling this new year. And by not feeling I mean it’s making me angry. Loyal readers might be shaking their heads and saying, “Umm didn’t you just have a sizable […]
We Need to Cut Back On All the “Be Happy” B.S.
We’re one week into 2020 and I’m already at full rant, like Defcon 1 rant. I tried to tamp this rant down, but it just made it worse like when you squeeze yourself into shape […]
Dear Snarky – Something Smells About My Dad’s New Wife
Dear Snarky, I smell a rat and it’s my dad’s new wife. Apparently, she has a “severe scent allergy.” She says she is hypersensitive to certain smells that can cause a reaction that could send […]
Happy 2020!
It’s New Year’s Day and this just isn’t any New Year it’s the start of a new decade. So cue all the stories and lists about how to make this next decade “the best ever.” […]
Dear Snarky – My Cousin Went on Facebook and Posted Lies About Our Family
Dear Snarky, My family has recently been devastated by a family member. After what I thought was a very nice Thanksgiving that included 31 members of our family from a great grandmother to nieces and […]
Christmas Tree Crisis “BEARly” Averted
I put my Christmas tree up earlier this month and it only took almost an e-n-t-i-r-e day. Yep, from sun up to sun down I was messing with that tree. I have no one to […]
Dear Snarky – My Sister Wore a Bridal Gown to MY Wedding
Dear Snarky, It’s official my sister is insane because she wore a wedding dress to my wedding. Let me back up a bit. She wore a wedding dress she had purchased two years ago and […]
When Dateline Podcasts Mess With Your Sanity
Was someone trying to kill me? I swear I’m not being melodramatic. I had proof. A white van had been following me on multiple occasions and someone was unlocking my kitchen sliding glass door when […]
Dear Snarky – I Was Left Out of the Family Holiday Photo
Dear Snarky, My feelings are really hurt by my boyfriend’s family and it has me wondering how my boyfriend can be so nice and his family so mean. Last weekend his family had professional holiday […]
Thanksgiving Is Getting the Shaft
What happened to Thanksgiving? I feel like it has become the fruitcake of holidays. Sure, it’s a day everybody acknowledges and celebrates but it’s not something you’re that passionate about. It seems like more and […]
The Yuck Factor of Flying is Getting Worse
When did we become a society devoid of being cognizant of our surroundings? And what has happened in the past decade to give people the mistaken belief that they possess a super power and are […]
Writing Can Get Pretty Ugly
*Note: I write a weekly opinion column for the Kansas City Star. Some of the stuff I muse about is a little more political in nature than I what share on this blog and by […]
Dear Snarky – I’m Being Shunned For Bringing Cupcakes to a School Party
Dear Snarky, I’m being shunned at my son’s elementary school due to having the “audacity” to bring mini chocolate cupcakes to the first grade Halloween party. I never received the link to the online sign […]
Dear Snarky – How Can We Tell a Family Member Not to Run for Public Office?
Dear Snarky, My niece announced to the family that she wants to run for public office and quite frankly a lot of us think it might just be the worst idea ever. She’s young, has […]
Team Spirit
I confess to being a nervous and some might say irritating football fan. I blame it on the fact that I’m a mother because all I want is for everyone to have fun and not […]
Dear Snarky – Help! My Co-Worker is Already Christmas Crazy
Dear Snarky, I have a co-worker who’s insane. She is pathologically obsessed with Christmas. On October 1 she decorated her cubicle, started burning some awful smelling pinecone scented candle and has some sort of plug […]
The College Admission Dumpster Fire
Colleges need an overhaul. Let’s start with the expense. A four year degree from an in-state school can now cost more than $100,000. Once upon a time going to a public university in your home […]
Dear Snarky – How Do I Tell a Friend She Has an Instagram Filter Addiction?
Dear Snarky, Is there anyway to tell a really cute friend that she is over editing all her photos on social media? I get it we all edit our photos for Instagram but the goal […]
A Psychological Study of School Pick Up and Drop Off
There are many things in this world that perplex me like how did jackfruit become a culinary trend? Have you tried cutting open a jackfruit? I swear brain surgery is probably less labor intensive and […]
Dear Snarky – My Mom Needs to Quit Wearing Sexy Halloween Costumes
Dear Snarky, I need help with my mother. I swear she thinks she’s Jennifer Lopez and by that I mean at 55 she is very proud of her body and loves to show it off. […]
Hybrid Hysteria
I understand the beauty of a hybrid. When you take the best characteristics from one group and blend them with another, often incongruous, category you sometimes achieve genius. But more often than not these mismatches […]
Help Me! I’m a Halloween Hoarder
I consider myself an exemplary purger. Way before everyone hopped aboard the Marie Kondo declutter train I was the master (due to multiple moves) of “If I haven’t used or thought about an item in a year […]
Dear Snarky – My Boss is Spying on Me With a Doggie Cam
Dear Snarky, I work for a very small company and my co-workers and I just discovered the owner is spying on us. She brings her dogs to work and has set up several treat dispensers […]
On Air and Scared
Never say never. In my wildest dream there’s one thing I thought I would absolutely not be doing again and that’s co-hosting an hour-long live TV show. Back in the day, like way back in […]
Dear Snarky – My Boyfriend is WAY Jealous of My Fantasy Football Skills
Dear Snarky, I have a problem with my boyfriend and it’s making me worry about our future together. He’s always been super competitive and now he’s angry with me because my fantasy football team is […]
Dear Snarky – My Mom and Mother-In-Law Have Turned Grandparenting Into a Competitive Sport
Dear Snarky, My mom and mother-in-law are driving me crazy. They’re both very competitive and my kids are always in the middle of their tug-of-wars as they try to one up each other. For example, […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 