FItted Sheet Domination

Do you ever feel like you’re woefully undereducated? I’m not talking about book smarts but everyday knowledge. A kind of news you can use proficiency.

I’ve recently been slightly freaked out that there’s a lot of what I’m going to call it remedial information that I don’t know. Info that one would think I should have picked up in my journey through life. 

For instance, I just found out the right way to fold a fitted sheet. Frankly, I gave up on even attempting to fold a fitted sheet decades ago. My go to method was what I’m going to call the “wad and shove” method.

This is when you take the sheet, do a half-hearted attempt to fold it then sigh, wad it up, and shove it in your linen closet.

Of course, the best solution for avoiding the fitted sheet drama, and one I used prodigiously in my much younger days, is to only own one set of sheets. This means you never have to fold a sheet because it’s coming out of the dryer and going right back on the bed.

My sheet epiphany came as I was scrolling through Instagram and happened on a tutorial. I’m embarrassed to admit that I live such an exciting life that this wasn’t the first fitted sheet online lesson I had watched.

But those other ones were ridiculous mainly because if it takes seven minutes to fold a fitted sheet you can file that under “never going to happen.” 

This new method though was so simple that I was stunned. It’s basically three steps. How had I lived this long and not know this? And why wasn’t this sheet folding advice passed down from generation to generation?

This spurred me to gather my children around me so I could share this life, or at least linen closet, changing wisdom. There was one big problem with my plan. My kids didn’t exactly share my enthusiasm for fitted sheet domination.

 My son took a “hard pass” on my gracious invitation for a masterclass on sheet folding. Luckily my daughter was visiting, and I was able to trap her – hmm, that sounds a little creepy so I’m going to change that to – corral her in my bedroom, so she could learn the mystical ways of the fitted sheet.

Right as I was beginning the tutorial, she blurted out in a bored voice that she didn’t even know why I was wasting my time since she couldn’t barely put a duvet cover on a comforter.

Excuse me? What kind of madness was this? Had I actually raised a child that had yet to master a duvet cover? Did she not have opposable thumbs?

I looked at her while trying to hide my surprise and said, “What are you talking about? You turn the duvet cover inside out, lay the duvet cover on top and then grab the two sides the farthest away from you and do the whole outside/in move.”

“Umm okay, Martha Stewart,” she smirked, “so, if you can do that why did you just now learn to fold a fitted sheet?”

“Because a fitted sheet is different. It has elastic which makes it, I don’t know, cranky.”

“Well, all this is making me cranky. I tell you what when I actually live somewhere with a linen closet and own more than one set of sheets, I’ll let you know and you can teach me.”

At this point I literally waved a white sheet of surrender. I guess I’ll have to save sharing my newfound knowledge till Christmas when you guessed it– both kids will be getting sheets for Christmas along with what I know will be a stirring seminar on folding.


While we’re on the topic of things that are stirring let’s talk about my brand new book EMPTY. I urge you to give it a lookie loo by clicking on the link.

What’s that? Your thumbs are too tired to click. Well, then just keep on scrolling for a peek at the fun. The book has a 5🌟review on Amazon (and I promise I didn’t write all the reviews).😉