One of my favorite things to do in the whole wide world is give advice. If I can give advice while drinking an icy McDonald’s Diet Coke well then consider me in my happy place. Unfortunately, my family seems immune to my wise counsel.
I tell myself that it’s because I’ve shared so much knowledge with them that they’re still processing the genius that is me leaving them currently without the brain space to take on anymore of my wisdom.
So, I’m going to take this opportunity to share the love and broaden the audience for my advice. The timing couldn’t be more perfect because there is one area of concern that I urgently want to address.
Conveniently this knowledge is also something I sincerely wish my daughter will heed. But since her brain is on “parental advice” overdrive it’s your lucky day because you’ll get the benefit of my insight on “Four Must Do’s When Starting Your Post College Work Life.” Oh sure, this list could be a lot longer but I’ve found that when dispensing advice it’s best to do it in bite size chunks.
Don’t think you’re smarter than the old people at your office
I get it – the company CEO looks like your mom or dad and this has you whispering “boomer alert” to yourself. (Never mind that your parents or your boss probably aren’t boomers and will aggressively share that they’re Gen X and have a Nirvana T-shirt from their 1994 world tour to prove it.) By doing the whole boomer sigh you’re giving yourself permission to pre-judge and think you’re so much smarter than the person in charge. Because, ugh, old people who use punctuation when they text are so behind.
But this is when you need to remind yourself, hourly, if need be, that the person who asks if anyone has seen their glasses when they’re clearly perched on their head is not an idiot. This human is not only very intelligent, but they have institutional knowledge that you won’t acquire until you’re the one who can’t find their glasses. If you remember anything – remember this. Stereotype older people at your own peril.
Gossip kills careers
Honestly hearing some hot office gossip can make your day. But repeating that gossip to a co-worker is a sign of stupidity. (Learn from me people because I used to be this dumb.) If you can’t help yourself and feel the need to share what you’ve heard, then go to your safe space – your mother. She’ll eagerly listen and provide you with all the “no way” and “you’ve got to be kidding me” you’re looking for and then ask you if you’ve seen her glasses.
Get a poker face
I’ve noticed, and most especially on Zoom, that many young people need to work on their poker face. It’s essential that you don’t let your face betray your boredom, disbelief, lack of enthusiasm etc. Sure, you might be feeling all of these things, even all at once, but maybe an hour later you’re not and yet the people in the conference room or on Zoom have all picked up on your facial cues and are drawing their own conclusions. Being disciplined about your face lets you control your narrative and that’s important.
Protect your credibility
One of the things my dad used to always tell me is “protect your creditability because once you lose it it’s extremely hard to get it back.” Sure, in the current times we’re living in it may seem like grifters/liars get ahead but having a reputation you don’t have to apologize for later is priceless.
Now go out there and change the world but if you can also find time to send me a well punctuated thank you text (Seriously how hard is it to, at the very least, use capitalization?) I would appreciate it.
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Snarky in the Suburbs 