Yes, just like you I am sicken by the racist chants made by SAE fraternity members at OU. To see those asses on a party bus doing a sing-song cheer about lynching makes me want […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
Team Crazy
This column ran in the Kansas City Star last week and all I have to say is good thing I was out-of-town because the emails I got were scary. Note to self – don’t ever […]
Dear Haters
(I write a weekly column for the Kansas City Star newspaper and this is the column I wrote this week in response to the “you suck” emails I have received.) People hate me. Okay, maybe […]
L.A. Story
As you watch the Oscars tonight and are seduced by the gowns, glam, and greatness of the So Cal life I offer you this peek into my recent foray into the heart of L.A. – […]
Eyebrows
Eyebrows are why I quit my job in television news. A little over a decade ago I was the anchor of a morning news program and to be honest I was weary of being at […]
Dear Snarky – I Hate Throwing Birthday Parties
One of the more common themes from letters I get are about children’s birthday parties. It can be nerve-racking to throw an awesome celebration and yet not drop some major coin to make it happen. […]
A Different Kind of Romance
Practicality is the death of romance. I have always joked that my husband is the most unromantic bipedal mammal currently roaming the planet. Seriously, he gave me dish towels for a Valentine’s Day present. Did […]
Battle of the Books
There are many, many reasons I’m glad my tour of duty as an elementary school mother is over. Sure, I enjoyed aspects of having younger children like being able to actually understand their homework. I […]
I Get It, We All Get It, You Have Perfect Children
Can we all just get over our kids? Yeah, we love them. They are the moon, sun and stars. The air we breathe. And yes, I know parents should be obsessed with their children. I […]
School Volunteer Emails Scare Me
Help. I’m afraid to open my email. No, it’s not that I fear creditors or pleas for rescue in the form of U.S. dollars being sent to a Nigerian prince. It’s school related emails that […]
Dear Snarky – Telling Off a Not Pregnant Mom Who Parks in the Expectant Mother Spaces
Dear Snarky, I need your help in dealing with a woman who never follows the rules. School pick up and drop off she’s just doing her own thing. Volunteering – maybe she’ll show up maybe […]
Finally the New Snarky Book Is Out!
Okay friends, I have, at last, finished the sequel to Snarky in the Suburbs Back to School!!!!! The new book Snarky in the Suburbs Trouble in Texas is published. Here’s a blurb I hope makes […]
My Mother & The Thank You Note Saga
Have you written all your holiday thank you notes yet? Well, according to my mother you better get on it. In fact, she would say you are coming awfully close to committing good manners suicide. Hello […]
Dear Snarky – I Have Sucky Parent Volunteers
Dear Snarky, I’ve been the chairperson of the Winter Carnival at my kids’ school for going on five years. Every year I get less and less help from the other parents. I have 20 people […]
Are You Telling Me You’re “More Christian” Than Me Because You Keep Your Christmas Tree Up Longer?
Did you know the date when you decide to take your holiday decorations down says a lot about you? I sure didn’t. I just assumed that folks eventually got around to it. Of course, I’ve […]
Back Off Fitbit
(This is an excerpt from a piece I did for a magazine.) I don’t believe in working out in groups or even around other people. I’m now a proud, new member of the solo workout club. […]
Dear Snarky – I Write My Teenagers Thank You Notes
Dear Snarky, I’m in big trouble with my mother! I have two teenagers and over Christmas my 17-year-old daughter spilled the beans to my mom that I have been writing my kids’ thank you notes […]
There’s Nothing Wrong With a Lame New Year’s Eve
There’s lame and then there’s New Year’s Eve lame. I’m almost certain I hold the record for the lamest, consecutive New Year’s Eves in the history of modern mankind (and by that I mean starting […]
Dear Snarky – Why Can’t I Keep a New Year’s Resolution?
Dear Snarky, Every year I make New Year’s resolutions and then by Valentine’s Day I’ve pretty much forgotten what they even were. Do you have any advice for making 2015 the year I finally […]
Dear Snarky – My Sister-In-Law’s Family Ruined Christmas
Dear Snarky, Thank God, I’m finally home after spending Christmas at my sister-in-law’s house. It was a disaster. I’ve never met such a cliquey group of people before. Her entire family separated themselves from the […]
Globe of Gratitude Anyone?
I know a lot has been written about the Elf on the Shelf. Pro and con, hate and love, who cares? What I want to do is, using the elf as my template, conjure up […]
Christmas Confessions of a Weary Mother
If you want to suck the air right out of room casually mention anytime between Thanksgiving and Christmas that you find the holiday season less than magical. As people are gasping for oxygen, quickly add […]
Holiday Decorating = Marital Counseling
I don’t admit to being a genius, but I’m telling you I’ve had some pretty good ideas. One of my best is that Waterparks should have on site dermatologists to scan for potentially cancerous moles. […]
Snarky Gets Hacked the Finale
So, here’s the deal. I have a really good story to tell that I can’t tell . . . yet. A couple of days ago my Snarky in the Suburbs Facebook page got hacked. Apparently, […]
My Christmas Tree Makes Me Cry
You know you may have scarred your children when they refer to decorating the Christmas tree as a pejorative. For example, if something unpleasant has happened they might describe it as “being bad, but not […]
Admit it – We’ve All Wanted to Escape From Our Family on Thanksgiving
And now for something to make me really unpopular . . . I’m going to confess that I don’t get what all the fuss is about regarding having to work on Thanksgiving. Right now, all […]
Betrayed By Better Homes and Gardens
Thanksgiving is a week away and I’ve done nothing to get ready for the holiday. Usually by this time I, at least, have made out my shopping list, but, ugh, I can’t seem to get […]
Dear Snarky – Still Stuck at the Kiddie Table for Thanksgiving
Dear Snarky, I’m going with my fiancé to his parents’ house for Thanksgiving. We have been dating for three years and for the past two years his mother has made me sit at the kids’ […]
To Rake, or Not to Rake, That Is The Question
I have lived all over the United States – From the mountains, to the prairies, To the oceans, white with foam I’ve unpacked moving boxes. In fact, you know you get around a lot when […]
Bridezilla – The Early Years
I confess to, on occasion, watching the trio of reality wedding shows that are on the TLC network. There’s Say Yes to the Dress, Say Yes to the Dress Bridesmaids and Four Weddings where brides […]
Dear Snarky – My Sister-In-Law Screwed Me Over
Dear Snarky, Recently my sister-in-law volunteered to make, what I would call, a coffee table photo book for my mother-in-law’s birthday. The book was supposed to be photos of ALL the grandkids. I thought it […]
Halloween Etiquette
I love Halloween. It’s an event based on candy and that’s something I embrace one fun size Snickers bar at a time. I do, though, have some rules about trick-or-treating. Well, maybe not rules so […]
Four Fab Fundraising Ideas
I don’t know about you but right now I’m completely stocked up on gift-wrap, cookie dough, popcorn and coupon books. In fact, just when I thought it was safe to open my door, my email, […]
Dear Snarky – We Have Halloween Hitler For Our Room Mom
Dear Snarky, Halloween class parties are in two weeks and the room mom for my daughter’s 2nd grade class is certifiably insane. She’s on her fourth meeting for a party that is only 45 minutes […]
A Real Haunted House
Worlds of Fun’s Halloween Haunt, the House of Horrors on the Interstate, you name it, I’ve done it, all while dragging a conglomerate of screaming teen girls behind me. My daughter is impressed that none […]
The Homecoming “Ask”
There’s a social scourge plaguing high schools that calls for immediate eradication. I’m talking about the new(ish) ritual of asking a girl to homecoming. No longer can a boy walk up to a girl at […]
Dear Snarky – My Daughter Doesn’t Have a Date for Homecoming
Dear Snarky, I’m stressing out. My daughter doesn’t have a date yet to her high school’s homecoming and it’s getting awfully close to the event. What can I do to make her feel better if […]
Hope and Change
Luckily, I don’t have a family that embarrasses easily. It could be because after years of living with me they’ve built up a resistance to your everyday, garden-variety mortification. But one thing that makes all […]
Dear Snarky – Bad Band Manners
(There must something in the spit valves because this is the second case of Bad Band Manners I’ve been alerted to in the past month.) Dear Snarky, I am a parent of two teenagers who […]
Death By Convenience Store Parking Lot
I think I’m going to run for some sort of national office and my campaign platform is going to be simple yet life changing. Everyone attempting to get a driver’s license will first have to […]
Mall Phobia
Having a daughter is one of life’s great joys until, you are forced, against your will, to take her clothes shopping at the mall. I, naive fool that I am, thought that I had gotten […]
The Shame Trifecta
Yeah, I know summer is over and who cares about my latest waterpark adventure. But just wait. What I have to share is a cautionary tale. Oh, sure loads has been written about Schlitterbahn’s Verruckt. But […]
Dear Snarky – Homeschool Mean Moms
Dear Snarky, I have two kids, 8 and 10, and I have just started homeschooling. In an effort to keep my kids around other kids I joined several home school groups. My children love hanging […]
Back-to-School Night: The Teen Years
There are three primary reasons I go to the high school back-to-school night. The main one is for visual evidence of what the school personnel looks like. So, when a child starts describing their […]
Parent Super Powers
There’s nothing like kids starting a new school year for me to get back in touch with my inner superpowers that tend to lay dormant in the summer. My superpowers are not unique. In fact, […]
The Cult of IKEA
If there is one thing I know about myself it’s that I’m a horrible predictor of what the next big thing will be. Take the cupcake craze. When all the cupcakes shops started popping up […]
School Supplies + Tax Free Shopping = Cray X Cray
There are many different ways to approach shopping for school supplies. Some families order their bounty from the PTO. It’s a way to cross yet another fundraiser off the list. Others wait until after the […]
Dear Snarky – What If I Hate My Kid’s Teacher?
Dear Snarky, I am freaking out because I’m afraid my daughter will get a bad teacher. Last year, for 4th grade she got the teacher no one ever wants. It was a long year. I […]
Walmart With Wings
Raise your hand if you remember wearing your Sunday best to travel on an airplane. I can even recall going shopping with my mother for my plane outfit. It was a big deal to go […]
Dear Snarky – The Cubicle Eavesdropper
Dear Snarky, I work for a large engineering firm and most of the employees don’t have offices instead we have cubicles. My problem is the woman who sits one cubicle over is the WORST eavesdropper. […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 