Dear Snarky – Telling Off a Not Pregnant Mom Who Parks in the Expectant Mother Spaces

Dear Snarky,Parking-Signs-43456S04STDNRA-lg

I need your help in dealing with a woman who never follows the rules. School pick up and drop off she’s just doing her own thing. Volunteering – maybe she’ll show up maybe she won’t. Trust me I could go on. Now, in what I perceive as the final straw, she’s parking all over town in the spots designated for “Moms to Be” or “Reserved for Expectant Mothers.”

 This woman is NOT pregnant. I took over a lasagna dinner when she got a hysterectomy two years ago and she’s able bodied. All you need to do is look at her car plastered with the 26.2 marathon stickers. I’m dying to say something to her, but want your advice on how to do it.

 Signed, Rule Follower

 Dear Rule,

Well, let’s look on the bright side at least she’s not parking in the handicap spaces – right? Okay, I know that didn’t make you feel any better. So, back to what to say to the “I’m so important I don’t have to follow the rules” Mom. My strategy is to go for the simple yet effective straight up calling her out about it.

 I’d walk up to her and ask her why she continually parks in the maternity spaces. So she can’t brush it off as a, “Oh, I only just did it this one time,” comment be sure you let her know you’ve seen her do it MANY times.

 Next, wait for her to give you a lame and/or hostile answer and then smile very sweetly  and reply, “Well, the only reason I felt compelled to say anything is that I worry about you. You know, because you never seem to grasp the concept of what rules are and how to follow them. I’m just making sure you’re okay.”

 And then walk away with your head held high secure in the knowledge that she knows that you know she’s an ass.

*Attention Snarky Friends, I have a brand new book out. It’s the second in the Snarky in the Suburbs series – Snarky in the Suburbs Trouble In Texas. You can buy it for your Kindle or in paperback on Amazon.  Click here for Nook or here for Kobo. Here’s a little lookie loo.

*********************************************************************************************

Wynn Butler is ready to kill her mother . . . oScreen Shot 2014-12-29 at 11.01.47 PMr at the very least demand she gets a psych evaluation and an MRI. On Wynn’s yearly pilgrimage to Trask, Texas, to visit her parents what she hoped would be a relaxing visit (not counting the family reunion which has all the charm of a zombie apocalypse) has turned into a Texas-sized, hot mess!

 Her 69-year-old mother Gwynn Crockett Martin has become an entrepreneur and opened up a cupcake bakery that seems to be doing double duty as a halfway house for economically battered Junior League dropouts.

 If that’s not enough to make Wynn want to turn tail and run home, her mom is hell bent on convincing her to “heed the call of Jesus” and come to the aid of a woman that made Wynn miserable in high school – Sara Beth Bishop. And by aid, Wynn’s mother means concoct a plan to exact epic revenge on Sara Beth’s lying, cheating, spray tanning, money stealing ex-husband and his new wife, snob-of-the-millennium, Yale Greenly.

 Things go from bad to worse when Wynn finds herself embroiled in a scheme that involves breaking and entering, theft, assault, livestock wrangling, killer mold, impersonating a maid, hair spray bomb fabrication and crashing the town’s poshest society event of the year – THE Mohair Palace Pageant. If Wynn can survive this visit home without doing time in the ER, jail, or both, it will be a miracle!

 Hang on to your hat and saddle up for a retribution rodeo or, as Wynn’s mom calls it . . . “justice served up Lone Star style.”

 

 

12 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – Telling Off a Not Pregnant Mom Who Parks in the Expectant Mother Spaces

  1. Shanda says:

    Or you could start a rumor that she’s pregnant! Maybe at a school event. Say “OMG congratulations on your pregnancy!” Maybe even kick it up a notch and complete it with congratulatory balloons. When she says she’s not pregnant then you embarrass her in front of everyone by asking why she was parked in a maternity parking spot.

  2. amy says:

    I’ve got one: “did you forget about that hysterectomy? Because if you’re sensing a growth, that’s no baby! It’s probably a tumor and you should get it checked. And quit running marathons so you don’t hemorrhage. I totally understand your need to park so close to the door: exertion could be life threatening… I could tell everyone and we could do a bake sale to raise money for your personality transplant?”

    Or take pictures with your phone and post them to the school pta website (maybe with plates blurred, maybe not) and request a newsletter go out concerning traffic circle rules and common decency.

  3. mamalion3 says:

    In all honesty, the grocery stores should probably just do away with trying to help out the pregnant mamas! One of our grocery stores has parking for mothers with small children as well and NO ONE ever follows it! I asked the store about it and it isn’t enforceable so there is nothing that can be done about it. The extra walking won’t hurt anyone, not even a pregnant lady, so we should all probably just get over it. I know this isn’t what anyone wants to hear.

    • snarkyinthesuburbs says:

      I couldn’t agree more about the parking spaces! But I do get that the woman who wrote the letter had sort of hit the limit with this other mom. There’s always that one thing that just sets you off. So, I think approaching her and inquiring why she feels the needs to freelance on every rule is not a bad thing.

    • Jaya says:

      The spots for parents with small children aren’t even good spots at my grocery store! They’re like six rows back, on the far end of the carriage return. How is that helpful?!

  4. feathersanddimes says:

    Ha! Love these answers! My advice- look them straight in the eye & don’t be afraid of the uncomfortable silence. Lawyers use those silences to their advantage, why can’t pissed off moms do the same?

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