Dear Snarky – Homeschool Mean Moms

dear_snarky_logoDear Snarky,

I have two kids, 8 and 10, and I have just started homeschooling. In an effort to keep my kids around other kids I joined several home school groups. My children love hanging out with the other homeschoolers. I, on the other hand, I’m losing my mind.

I thought one of the many benefits of homeschooling would be not having to deal will the PTA Mom drama etc., but this is worse. These moms are vicious, as in super competitive and talking trash about you behind your back while saying they love Jesus. Oh, and the worst are the group texts. When I get one my stomach starts hurting.

Should I suck it up and stay involved because my kids love the outings or do I do what’s best for me and get out?

Signed, Homeschool Novice

Dear Home School Novice,

You made a rookie mistake. Crazy is everywhere. You can’t hide from it. You can’t avoid it. Pretty much, you walk out the door and crazy is there waiting for you. Did you really think homeschooling would shield you from the mean moms? You’ve just traded the PTA meanies for the Jesus edition.

My advice is for you to try out a lot of different homeschooling groups and find one that is a better fit for you and your kids. Do not, I repeat do not, feel guilty about taking your kids out of the mean mom group. They may be having fun right now BUT if there is one thing I have learned, in a lot of cases, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Sooner than later, I’m sure a few of these kids will start displaying the same character traits as their mothers and that’s when things will really get ugly. Cut your losses now and make a run for it. As for those group texts I’d considering blocking some of those numbers. If anyone asks you why tell them your gastroenterologist  made you do it.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky please email me at

13 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – Homeschool Mean Moms

  1. Angela says:

    I’m not going to live long enough to understand why if you “love Jesus”, you can still be a bitch and it’s somehow okay.

  2. Margaret Coutu Callahan says:

    Been there. I began homeschooling my son because with his Aspergers Syndrome he was getting lost in our school system and not getting the help he needed. I found a homeschool PE group for him. In talking to the other Moms, I found out most of them do not follow a curriculum but rather just teach from the bible. They put their noses up to me for using a full curriculum for my son. Silly me, I just didn’t think there was much Algebra in the bible. Oddly enough I found my son with Aspergers had better social skills then these kids.Yeah, we left that group.

  3. mamalion3 says:

    I’m with Snarky, if it’s not good for you, it’s probably not good for your kids. Angela, praise The Lord and pass the ammunition! Amen! Why people sit around and wonder why there are so many mean kids befuddles me!

  4. connieherrin says:

    I have a reply for the NOVICE homeschool mom… You got involved with the wrong group. Just because someone claims to be a Christian and wears their crosses around their necks does NOT mean they do in fact have a relationship with JESUS CHRIST. I mean, you can hang a little green air freshener around your neck, but it won’t mean you are in fact a CAR. Look around, find the right group, test them out… The bible says to test the spirits to see if they are of God… Don’t let this ruin you to homeschooling OR to Christians…

    Connie Bolding

  5. thehomeschoolmomblog says:

    To answer Angela’s question, “… why if you ‘love Jesus’, you can still be a b**** and its somehow okay’; you can’t, plain and simple. I’m sorry that some women act like this. In truth, they are in the wrong. There is no greater answer to the question.

    Please understand, like Snarkey said, you are going to find crazies everywhere; in every genre of society. Unfortunately, while one would hope NOT to find them among a church setting, it still occurs. Please note; not all of us are like this. In our group of mommies, we highly discourage this act and will actually call each other out for doing so.

    We’re all human, we all make mistakes. (Not that this excuses their behavior, it doesn’t.) However, hopefully we can be understanding and gracious to those who are still learning.

    My suggestion would be to step up and be honest with these women. Let them know that you find their talk unwholesome and in need of grace. Perhaps no one else has bothered to call them out for their actions. If their actions continue, explore other homeschool groups who have a more mature set of women. Being a Christian myself, I know I wouldn’t put up with that for any great length of time. Call them out and then move forward.

  6. Daria Morgendorffer says:

    Self-defense for those horrifying group text messages:

    On an iPhone you can disable the ‘read receipt’ feature. Go to iphone settings –> Message –> turn ‘Send Read Receipt’ to OFF.

  7. Pam says:

    Oh yes. We homeschool. I know this feeling. I do a great deal of tongue biting some days…..
    That being said, we have found a few groups that have similar philosophies of homeschooling/parenting that we have decided to implement. The similar parenting philosophies are probably the most important reason why we all work well together. There are still some days where I bite my tongue….very hard…..
    And there is one drop-off homeschool program we use that makes me want to forward Snarky’s car-line posts to the whole group…, but I bite my tongue….and move on.
    You see…they are kind enough to bite their tongues when I have “east coast” moments and forget that I am in the Mid-West and should probably act nice in public 🙂
    Yes. Switch groups. And don’t be surprised if you run in to other people who are also recovering from their experience with this gaggle of geese.

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