Dear Snarky – Bad Band Manners – Snarky in the Suburbs

(There must something in the spit valves because this is the second case of Bad Band Manners I’ve been alerted to in the past month.)

Dear Snarky,

I am a parent of two teenagers who are in their high school’s band. While, my kids are in what a I could call, a very well-behaved band, the other bands at the football games this season have had horrible band manners. There’s bands playing over one another and blasting away the entire game.

It’s so bad I talked to my children’s marching band teacher and asked him to do something when this happens at the football games but he pretty much blew me off. Do you think I should say something to the opposing team’s band or is that not my place?

Signed, Marching Band Mom

Dear Marching Band Mom,

I was so intrigued by your letter and the whole concept of marching band etiquette that I did some research. I called some local area band teachers and you, my friend, are spot on. There is a code of conduct for when to toot your horn, so to speak, and when to shut it down.

For example, a band is only supposed to play when their team has the ball and there are times during the game when both bands should be silent, like when the ball is in play, or while the quarterback is calling signals. Also, you never, ever play over another band while they are doing their school song.

I know it must frustrating that you’re having to suffer through a season of band bullies but I can not give you permission or condone you, going full “band mom” on the ill-mannered opposition. It won’t end well. Trust me. I know things.

What I would suggest you do when this happens is to sit in the bleachers and smile, maybe even stick you nose up in the air and luxuriate in the fact that you and your children’s high school, are winning (big time) by having the better, well-mannered, classier band. That should be music to your ears.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com

5Comments

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1

Teri on September 29, 2014 at 1:32 pm

Hey Snarky, as a band mom with 2 in high school, I was unaware of the band etiquette. Thanks for the info! Also, we had one of our senior cheerleaders try to lead our student section in BOOING for the other team’s band when they did their halftime show in our stadium (We performed our show post-game and gave them halftime when we invited them). While I did not see this because I was in the concession stand working, I heard about it. Had that girl been my child, you’d have seem me beating her behind in front of the whole student section. Talk about poor etiquette!
- 2
  
  snarkyinthesuburbs on September 29, 2014 at 3:51 pm
  
  Wow! That is the epitome of unsportsmanlike like conduct. The cheerleader should have been suspended from the team and issued a formal apology to the band.
  - 3
    
    Teri on September 29, 2014 at 3:53 pm
    
    I agree, I just wish I’d have seen it first hand. But I heard about it from others, who really SHOULD’VE done something about it.
4

Cynthia M. on September 29, 2014 at 3:52 pm

Great advice! And the behavior of the band comes from the top down.
5

Xander on September 2, 2017 at 1:24 am

This is very interesting, I was getting kind odf upset with my kid’s band for what I precieved as bad etiquette. But it must be a generational thing, I was in band some 20 years ago a band would never play when they had the ball, only when on defense.