Dear Snarky – My Sister-In-Law’s Family Ruined Christmas

f784f548f08fa691c849dbf4f8b634c1Dear Snarky,

Thank God, I’m finally home after spending Christmas at my sister-in-law’s house. It was a disaster. I’ve never met such a cliquey group of people before. Her entire family separated themselves from the rest of the guests the entire day. If everyone was in the family room they would be in living room. If you tried to mingle with them you would pretty much get ignored. It was unbelievably uncomfortable.

I told my husband I’m never subjecting myself to another Christmas day like that again and while he agreed with me that his brother’s wife relatives are F’ing nuts he told me we just had to deal with it because it’s family.

Umm, it’s not my family and his sister-in-law’s relatives are not his family so I think next year and the year after that etc we can just take a pass on Christmas with this bunch of cold fish.

What do you think Snarky I’m a right?


Still Pissed

Dear Pissed,

The big old extended family get together is one of those things that sounds good in theory, (like buying your pants too small to encourage you to lose weight) but in reality it can be a hot mess (i.e. you now have no pants to wear). Sure it’s supposed to be all Hallmark Channel lovey dovey, but it never seems to work out that way.

And in your case you really were spending time with almost strangers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that if the strangers are open to becoming friends, but it seems your sister-in-law’s family wanted nothing to do with the co-mingling of kin.

That was a long way of me saying that I agree with 100%. Having to experience an awkward Christmas every year is no fun and who made your sister-in-law the Queen of the holidays? Another good questions is why do you have to have Christmas at her house every year? Wouldn’t it be more fair and, dare I say, more fun if it rotated?

I would suggest all this now while the memory of the crappy Christmas is still fresh in everyone’s mind and get some sort of action plan for next year and beyond in place.

Also, because families can have, shall we say, varied interpretations of the facts I would do this all via email so you have a “hard” copy of the discussion. This will serve as evidence so no one next December can pull a “What are you talking about I didn’t agree to this?” stunt. If and when this happens all you will need to do is share the time stamped and dated emails to shut them down.

*If you have questions for Dear Snarky please email me at or click on the Snarky Facebook icon at the top right hand corner of this page and send me a private message on Facebook.

P.S. You’re going to have to relike Snarky on Facebook since my site got hacked.

6 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – My Sister-In-Law’s Family Ruined Christmas

  1. Cynthia M. says:

    Been there. Done that. Yes, Christmas is all about family, but sometimes you need to cut your losses and move on. Super idea about rotating. The only problem is it’s a logical suggestion so some crazy family member will probably shoot it down.

  2. Franny says:

    How rude for people to act this way! Those people need to grow the hell up and learn to interact with other people even if they aren’t blood relatives. I don’t blame this woman for not wanting to endure another Christmas with people like that.

  3. Mrs. Martin says:

    What a crock! God, I could feel the misery just reading the letter. Snarky is right make a move now while everyone is still pissed off and plan Christmas 2015 right now.

  4. Meghan Tells It says:

    A few years ago I put my foot down. Christmas day is for immediate family – my husband, son, and myself. It has been absolutely wonderful. If other people want to see us during the holiday season, they can invite us over on another day.

  5. Sam says:

    My husbands step mom passed two years ago so we invited his dad last year over Christmas eve so not to be alone. So this year he thought he was automatically invited again and asked what time to come over. We had plans to go to our daughters, so to make it worse husbands sister comes home for holidays and stays with dad and ask about Christmas. So we start feeling bad they have no where to go and change from going to daughter’s house to have both daughter’s and grandkids at our home like every year. But daughter had new home and thought doing Christmas would be nice but didn’t care. So husband talks to his sister and says ok here is the thing, if you and dad are going to be home alone come over. They still had not made up their minds on going to another brothers house. Very confusing I know. So, finally she call and says no they are NOT going to brothers house. So my husband told her fine to come over but he didn’t want anymore as we didn’t want it to turn into a big thing. We get a text hours later saying the brother and his family were coming! Is it just me? Or is this extremely rude and totally not her right to ask others to our home? Especially after being told we didn’t want more. The big deal is we open our gift on Christmas eve and it’s a lot not just a couple and it’s kind of a private thing to me. I didn’t want his whole family watching us opening our gifts. Again rude. But this whole family is rude, they stare at you to an uncomfortable level they have no problem saying rude mean things and don’t get what they did. Anyhow she text back “I didn’t think you would mind” but that’s ok. Now we feel like the idiots who had her uninvite them. I feel just terrible and it ticks me off the dad and mostly sister in law put us in this position.

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