Dear Snarky – My Daughter Doesn’t Have a Date for Homecoming

Dear Sdear_snarky_logonarky,

 I’m stressing out. My daughter doesn’t have a date yet to her high school’s homecoming and it’s getting awfully close to the event. What can I do to make her feel better if she doesn’t get asked?

 Signed,  Worried Mama

Dear Worried,

You’ve reached the point in your parenting career where you must tell your daughter the 3 Truths About the High School Male.

1) Guys could be intimidated to ask your daughter out because she’s so smart, so pretty, so funny or all the above

2) Guys are goobers and for the most part would rather hang out with their friends than undergoing the effort a taking shower, breaking out the AXE body wash and doing all the things required to escort a young lady to homecoming.

3) Most teenage girls are too good for any teenage boy.

Now, once you’ve completed that lesson it’s time to move on to your Homecoming Avoidance Strategy. This is when you make plans to maybe, quite possibly, be out-of-town for homecoming. You daughter could share with friends that she “might have a conflict” on that day or her family has “plans.” This doesn’t close the door to a guy asking her out BUT if it doesn’t happen she’s already laid the groundwork that her busy schedule just didn’t have room for such a trivial event like homecoming. Then be sure to take your daughter out and treat her to a fun family evening.

Trust me. This advice is timeless because it works. My mother used it on me back in the day.

If you require some help from Dear Snarky (21st Century Advice With An Attitude) email me at or private message me on the Snarky in the Suburbs Facebook page.