Dear Snarky – My Daughter Doesn’t Have a Date for Homecoming

Dear Sdear_snarky_logonarky,

 I’m stressing out. My daughter doesn’t have a date yet to her high school’s homecoming and it’s getting awfully close to the event. What can I do to make her feel better if she doesn’t get asked?

 Signed,  Worried Mama

Dear Worried,

You’ve reached the point in your parenting career where you must tell your daughter the 3 Truths About the High School Male.

1) Guys could be intimidated to ask your daughter out because she’s so smart, so pretty, so funny or all the above

2) Guys are goobers and for the most part would rather hang out with their friends than undergoing the effort a taking shower, breaking out the AXE body wash and doing all the things required to escort a young lady to homecoming.

3) Most teenage girls are too good for any teenage boy.

Now, once you’ve completed that lesson it’s time to move on to your Homecoming Avoidance Strategy. This is when you make plans to maybe, quite possibly, be out-of-town for homecoming. You daughter could share with friends that she “might have a conflict” on that day or her family has “plans.” This doesn’t close the door to a guy asking her out BUT if it doesn’t happen she’s already laid the groundwork that her busy schedule just didn’t have room for such a trivial event like homecoming. Then be sure to take your daughter out and treat her to a fun family evening.

Trust me. This advice is timeless because it works. My mother used it on me back in the day.

If you require some help from Dear Snarky (21st Century Advice With An Attitude) email me at or private message me on the Snarky in the Suburbs Facebook page.

19 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – My Daughter Doesn’t Have a Date for Homecoming

  1. No Homecoming Date says:

    Great advice!!!! I wish my mom had told me this 20 years ago. Instead I hung out at home feeling miserable.

  2. Mom of 3 Boys says:

    You missed the boat on this one Snarky. Do you really think most teenage girls are too good for any teenage boy? I have three sons and most of the girls at their high school are tramps. They are sexual aggressive, dress provocatively, and, in no way, do I want my boys getting near these girls. Maybe the problem isn’t the boys but the girls. Maybe you need to think about that.

  3. snarkyinthesuburbs says:

    Simmer down there sister. I was giving the mother advice on ways to make her daughter feel better. I don’t think telling the mom her daughter might be a tramp and that’s why she didn’t get asked would have accomplished that objective.

    • Katie says:

      As the mom of 2 boys, I loved your advice! Not because I think it’s true but because it’s a great thing to tell a hurting teenaged girl. I would tell my boys the same thing (only in reverse) if they ever get turned down.

  4. Mom of 2 Girls says:

    Hi Mom of 3 Boys-

    So are these “tramps” hooking up with boys? What is your label for these boys with questionable morals? I believe it is a scientific fact that boys actually have more frequent sexual thoughts than girls do. Also note, that just because a girl wears the in fashion (whether we like it or not) short shorts, does not mean that she is sexually aggressive.

  5. KAmy says:

    There is also a flip side to this. When boys are turned down by the girls. I have 2 boys who between them at different times have asked 5 girls to prom ( I know – not homecoming – but same idea- we dont have a homecoming dance so…). To this date, neither of my boys have been to prom. One of them graduated from high school last May, so he never will. Us boy moms are sad for our kids too.

  6. mom of 3 girls says:

    My eldest didn’t go to Homecoming this year because she had to run the next day (she’s a very serious runner). The last two years, she went with a group of girlfriends and had a blast. Several of these girls had been asked, but just weren’t interested.

  7. amy says:

    Good advice to the girl if she had a crush or was led to believe it was mutual and was holding out for that. You don’t need a date to go to a dance. Just go with friends. I did that when I was that age, as in a group of odd-girl-out kids, because we typically didn’t have dates. Now more kids are doing it, regardless of whether or not they fit in a clique. I think they realize there’s so much more freedom that way, rather than thinking you need the approval of some boy (or girl) to do something. No pressure to manufacture a relationship to fit in or whatever. If you want to dance, dance. Most modern dance is solo anyway, and slow dance is boring. If she’s feeling like she needed someone’s approval to go to the dance (like some arbitrary boy), then yes, do what you want to do and don’t hang your worth on someone else’s opinion.

    • suzette says:

      Excellent reply! When are we going to make these dances available to all the kids in a school who want to go instead of making them feel like they need a date to attend? Or that they, heaven forbid, feel less than because they didn’t get asked or got turned down. High School years are only part of a very large life story. Academically it can set a path, but socially it should be a time of enjoyment! Any school sponsored event should be completely inclusive. Have fun kiddos, you’re young!!!

  8. Denise says:

    Why does she need a date? Does the daughter want one, or does Mom want her to have one?
    Maybe its because I live in a small town, but grab a friend or two and go stag. Who needs a date? We never did have dates unless we were serious with someone. Junior prom I thought I needed a date and asked a friend from another town. It was ok, but senior year with friends was waaaaayyyy better. And as a teacher and mom to three (2 of whom are in high school) I don’t push the dating. Encourage her independence and friendships.

  9. Pam says:

    Tell her to find out how much a ticket, dress, hairdo, manicure, corsage and “after party” activities will cost.
    My bet is it might be enough to fund a plane ticket for a nice weekend getaway…especially if you save up all the money from the winter dance, spring formal, jr/sr banquet etc…

  10. JoCo Mom says:

    As usual, Snarky has nailed it! The “ask” is stressful and awkward for boys and girls. Getting turned down so publicly can resonant forever. Time for this craziness to go away! Also, who else is tired of seeing a dozen pics of teens posed for pre-dance pics posted on Facebook by their mothers?!! I might be interested in one pic of the couple. Forget the FB bragging of your kid’s popularity with any more than one pic.

  11. Lenalou says:

    When I was in HS (about ten years ago), homecoming was a casual dance, you came as you were, no fancy dresses or suits. Maybe I came from the wrong part of farm country.

  12. feathersanddimes says:

    In my neck of the woods, a boy has to go totally all out to ask a girl to a dance…We are talking clever posters, costumes, balloons, some cute poem. And he has to do it in public so pictures can be taken and posted to social media! A lot of boys don’t want that kind of pressure. What happened to just saying, “Want to go to the dance with me?”

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