Dear Snarky – My Sister-In-Law Screwed Me Over

Dedear_snarky_logo-1ar Snarky,

Recently my sister-in-law volunteered to make, what I would call, a coffee table photo book for my mother-in-law’s birthday. The book was supposed to be photos of ALL the grandkids. I thought it was a great idea so I submitted pictures of my kids and paid for half of the book. Fast-forward to my mother-in-law’s birthday party and when she gets the book it’s all pictures of my sister-in-law’s kids with only ONE photo of my three children. WTH?

Do I ask my sister-in-law for my money back as a way of showing that I’m super ticked off and do I need to tell my mother-in-law the back-story? Because, as of right, now it looks like I didn’t get my mother-in-law a present since the book contains 53 pictures of just my sister-in-laws kids!

Signed, Bummed

 Dear Bummed,

Yes, I would ask your sister-in-law for your money back because she most certainly did not create, as promised, a book of ALL your mother-in-law’s grandchildren. I think she needs to be called out on her behavior – family harmony be damned. What she did was beyond rude. And she needs to know that you’re not going to put up these kinds of shenanigans in the future. Consider it a line in the sand.

 I would then take the sister-in-law refund money and make a book with photos of just your kids for your mother-in-law. That way she has two precious books of her grandchildren and any grandma would love that!

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice With An Attitude – email me at or private message me on my Snarky Facebook page.

13 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – My Sister-In-Law Screwed Me Over

  1. Been There Doing That says:

    Ugh. I think I have the same sister-in-law! Great advice letting the SIL know that you will not stand for her kind of crazy.

  2. Ivygirl says:

    I’d go one further and say this SIL isn’t to be trusted with any family ops, especially concerning the GPs. Next Christmas or birthday, no joint gifts, or if there’s ever going to be another joint gift, YOU collect the money, YOU pick it out, YOU present it. And I mean from now to the end of time. This woman has some serious deviousness going on.

  3. Sunflower 9 says:

    This sounds exactly like my husband’s ex wife. When you realize you can’t trust them, but they are still a part of life, draw lines and don’t let her cross. I’m sure she’s done other things. This is just the first you have realized.

    Take ten giant steps back from her.

  4. lambertgirl says:

    Yep. I think we’re related. I can’t even go there, but suffice to say, I try to avoid my inlaws. There’s not enough meds on this earth to enable me to handle their kinda crazy.

  5. amy says:

    Yeah, she’s evil. My first instinct was to tell the MIL what really happened, and what you were led to believe and what you intended. The fact is that the fruit usually doesn’t fall far from the tree and she’s might be just as bad as her daughter, so you shouldn’t have high expectations of her either. Just make it very clear that you paid for half and had reasonable expectation that it would be a 50/50 joint effort. SIL is a manipulative liar, especially if she thinks her mother wouldn’t also want pictures of her own son’s children. That’s the rub: she isn’t just doing wrong by you, she’s snubbing her brother as well to curry favor with her mother. I don’t think you will get money back from that entitled selfish biatch because she probably believes in her own delusions. No joint efforts in the future. In fact, I’m not sure I’d even share holidays and would maybe think twice about spending time with that family. Sounds like she just wanted to do a book and wanted someone else to pay for it. Freeloader.

  6. Li says:

    I think I might just tell mother-in-law, in front of sister-in-law of course, how terribly sorry I am that only the first half of the book was available on the special day, golly, what a shame about the printing mix up, and goodness gracious, hubby and I are SO looking forward to seeing the second volume of the book, the one that features all the other grandkids! And then sweetly ask sister-in-law, “When did you say it would be ready? It hope it’s soon – after all, we already paid for it!”

  7. Julie says:

    Is the sister-in-law the sister of Bummed’s husband or is the SIL married to Bummed’s husband’s brother? I can see why the SIL is competing with Bummed to be the MIL’s Best Daughter-In-Law if both women are daughters-in-law. If the SIL is the sister of Bummed’s husband, then the husband should step in and tell his sister to play nice. But either way, Bummed should ask for her money and photos back and make her own book. Also, she should encourage the kids to be close to each other, regardless of the parents’ issues. Cousins rock!

  8. virginiallorca says:

    I have two SILs and they both hate me. Their passive-aggression is worse than a punch in the nose. I have as little to do with them as possible. Any family party is always her relatives. And to complicate it, my one SIL’s brother married my cousin. One did a huge family collage photo and there is one tiny pic of my daughter making a weird face. I have thrown in the towel. When I was very young, everything was cousins, cousins, aunts, uncles. My kids have cousins they have never met.

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