Dear Snarky – We Have Halloween Hitler For Our Room Mom

Deadear_snarky_logor Snarky,

Halloween class parties are in two weeks and the room mom for my daughter’s 2nd grade class is certifiably insane. She’s on her fourth meeting for a party that is only 45 minutes long and most of that is taken up with a Halloween costume parade! She’s so controlling and anal that we now call her Halloween Hitler.

The final straw was when she did a timeline for the party and wanted us to sign our names that we “agreed to and would follow” her timeline. WTH? I, along with a couple of other moms, refused to sign it and she told us unless we did we couldn’t come to the party.

Do I go to the teacher, the principal, or just have it out with her? I have two older children and have never encountered a mom this crazy before.

Signed, Bewildered

Dear Bewildered,

Oh my, you are going to have an interesting school year with this woman as room mom. I would give the teacher a head’s up about what is going on because the teacher is the boss. It’s her classroom and the room mom “works” for her. This kind of control freak crazy needs to be nipped in the bud and the only one who can do that effectively and with any authority is the teacher.

I suggest sending the teacher an email and asking for five minutes of her time to discuss an issue you prefer to handle in person. Always, remember to never diss another mom to a teacher in an email. It could be shared and that creates a whole other category of drama.

When you do talk to the teacher, about “Halloween Hitler,” keep it unemotional and very matter-of-fact. Also, bring another mom with you as back up, so the teacher can’t blow you off and dismiss your concerns as just a little “personality conflict” with the room mom.

Good Luck!

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice With An Attitude – email me at or private message me on my Snarky Facebook page.

15 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – We Have Halloween Hitler For Our Room Mom

  1. Mary S. says:

    This letter had me howling! What a freak making the moms sign the timeline form. Sadly, I have known moms like this. Great advice BTW.

  2. Former Room Mom says:

    Seriously, some moms take their room mom duties a bit too far. If she wants to be this big of a control freak maybe she can go and work for the CDC. It looks like they need someone with her organization skills and attention to detail.

  3. Pam says:

    Go to the HH mom first, tell her that unlike the UN, you don’t appease dictators or toddlers and will be at the party to support your child and enjoy the class celebration.
    With any luck she’ll back down and everything will be ok.
    If not, her behavior will escalate and either:
    a)get noticed by the teacher and admins and handled without you needing to be involved
    b) get her removed from homeroom mom status or unable to recruit any more help
    c) get you off the hook from being asked to help with any more parties for the rest of your child’s academic career in this school

  4. Hayley says:

    Or, refuse to sign the timeline and still go,to the party. Either she needs help, in which case you help without signing her faux contract, or she doesnt want your help and you enjoy yourself just watching your little one have fun in costume. Is she going to have you arrested for trespassing?

  5. honeybadgerhome says:

    I read this and loved it! Then I came back, read it again, and loved it even more. Can’t believe this is the stuff of real life! The things I don’t know yet because I don’t have kids…

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