My family loves board games. Well, that’s actually a lie. The truth is my daughter loves board games and forces us to play them with her. This is why on Thanksgiving while feeling very uncomfortably […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
Why Am I So Impatient? (Deep thoughts while waiting in line.)
You would think with everyone having a phone to occupy their brains that we, as a society, would have gotten better about waiting in line. There are emails to answer and the universe of social […]
Is It Really Christmas Without a Hallmark Holiday Movie?
Fake snow, meeting cute, and the classic two second end of movie smooch means Christmas is here and warning I’ll throw down with anyone who doesn’t agree with me. Being an influencer is a huge […]
My Christmas “Do Not Want” List
I have no idea what I want for Christmas besides the mom trifecta of world peace, love and the eradication of disease and famine from our planet. I do though know what I don’t want […]
The Smoking Thanksgiving
Change is hard especially when it comes to trying to “update” your holiday traditions. Back in early October I made a momentous announcement to my family and like any announcement that would shake my husband […]
Dear Snarky – My Mother-In-Law Thought Helping Out After I Just Had a Baby Was Supposed to Be a Vacation
Dear Snarky, I can’t believe the latest stunt my mother-in-law pulled. I just had my second baby (my first is only 18 months old) and my mother-in- law literally begged to come stay with us […]
Oh No, She Didn’t
When a trip to Walmart results in deep thoughts about face creams and “jowl alerts.” I am not a grandma. It’s important for me to say this because I just got an ego beat down at […]
The Brag-A-Thon
I think bragging could be an Olympic sport or maybe it could have its own Olympics because there’s so many different bragging disciplines. There’s everything from the well-known boisterous bragger, and then there’s the […]
MacGyver Mom
There are times in the parenting journey when you feel like you have taken up a permanent residence in the innards of your child’s disesteem. Lucky for me, in regards to my daughter, I didn’t care […]
Furniture Shopping With My Husband -Perhaps My Worst Idea Ever
If someone gave me the choice of being stabbed in the cornea with a fondue fork or going furniture shopping with my husband, trust me I’d pick the fondue fork/cornea combination hands down. I […]
Hair Raising Issues
I consider myself an assertive person. Give me a family member with an issue and I’m all over it. The two areas, though, where my assertiveness evaporates is any kind of monetary salary negotiations and […]
Summer Mysteries
Summer is a time of year that you don’t usually associate the word mysterious with. It’s sunny and bright and just way too hot for anything that involves effort filled intrigue. But, there are some […]
Binge Cleaning
There’s nothing like the smell of Johnson’s paste wax. Is it a yummy smell? Oh, heck no. It’s pungent with a kick of industrial solvent, but when I get a whiff of it I know […]
I’ve Packed My Last School Lunch – Forever!
I have packed my very last school lunch. In fact, I estimate that I have Glad Ziplocked more than 6,916 meals for my kids to take to school. If that number looks high to you please be advised […]
Dear Snarky – Teacher Gift Drama
Dear Snarky, It’s time for the end of the year class gift for my son’s fourth grade teacher and the class mom is adamant about not buying the teacher a gift. This mom thinks she […]
Can You Still Be Considered A Southerner If You Hate Grits?
When your grandmother is the “Grits Queen” not liking “Southern Porridge isn’t an option. As a Texas girl with a southern mama and grandmother, I was raised with a keen and enthusiastic appreciation of brunch, […]
Dear Snarky – The Case of the Lifestyle Stalker
Dear Snarky, I have a friend I’m seriously considering sending a bill to for interior design. It’s either that or I’m never going to talk to her ever again. For three years, I have been planning […]
Dear Snarky – Our Neighbors Want to Clone Our Dog
Dear Snarky, I like my neighbors, but they have put my husband and I in a very weird predicament. We have the best dog ever. She’s a mutt and a mix of what we think […]
Employee Hiring Tips – Try a Roller Coaster
Hiring the right person for a job is one of life’s harder decisions. I’ve had a boss describe it to me as getting married after one date. Truthfully, it’s not even a date. It’s more […]
Family Road Trips – Then & Now
As spring breaks begins and families hit the road all I can think about is how easy kids today have it in regards to traveling. Remember the days of yesteryear when there was no escaping […]
Dear Snarky – My Sister’s “Poor Me” Act Ruined Our Family Vacay
Dear Snarky, I have some advice for you – never travel with family. For over a year now we have been planning a Disney World trip for my parents 40th wedding anniversary. My parents said they […]
Why Is It Easier to Get An Opioid Than An Antibiotic?
Riddle me this – how come it’s easier to get a prescription for Vicodin than one for antibiotics? I’m serious. During this winter of the flu and other assorted maladies I heard people talking about […]
So Over It
I think there needs to be a national day of “step away from your computers and smartphones.” We can then use the time to take deep breaths and focus on not being so angry. For […]
Retainer Challenged
There are two kinds of children. Those who lose their retainers and those who don’t. I happen to have one of each. My son, now 21, has never been retainer-less. Since he got his braces […]
Phone Free Or How I Survived 14 Hours Without My Cell and Lived to Tell the Tale
I lost my phone for 14 hours and I can honestly say it was a serene almost spa like experience. It didn’t start out that way, but in the end, I give being phone free […]
Dear Snarky – A Nit Picky Co-Worker is Making Me Cray
Dear Snarky, There’s a woman at my office who is driving everyone crazy. She’s constantly correcting mistakes, some that I believe are imaginary, with our appearance. From telling us we have a little lint on […]
Dear Winter, You Suck
The Love is Gone I’m so over it. Yes, I know a mere two months ago I was experiencing deep and profound feelings for winter, but now I’m ready to break up. Talk about a […]
Dear Snarky – Help! I’m Crushing On My Contractor
Dear Snarky, Help, I think I’m developing feelings for my contractor. I’m happily married, or so I thought, but since we started doing some much-needed home improvement I find myself liking the guy doing the work. He’s […]
Hiding Out in My Car
Did you know that Americans consume 20% of their meals in their car? Instead of being disturbed by this nugget of information my response is yum. I’ve had some of the best meals of my […]
Death by Snow Villages
My first words of wisdom for 2018 are be careful what gifts you ooh and aah over because it could come back to bite you in the butt – big time. Thirty long years ago I […]
Trend-Less
Being a “trend forecaster” sounds like a great job. Mainly because you never have to be right. You’re forecasting not stating fact. This means nobody can call you out for getting anything wrong and if […]
Apparently I Suck At Giving Pep Talks
My spirits have been crushed. Everything I thought I knew about myself is now under review. I keep thinking “How could I have been so unaware, so unable to read a room?” Apparently, I’m living […]
Holiday Traditions That Need To Go
I’m an unabashed holiday freak. (Although I draw the line at putting up Christmas decorations before Halloween. That’s just showing a deep disrespect and disregard for the seasons.) I love the month of December like […]
Dear Snarky – My MIL Is Mocking My No Lactose/Gluten/Sugar Lifestyle
Dear Snarky, My mother-in-law is being a huge jerk! I have put my family on a gluten, sugar and lactose free diet and I sent her an email to get rid of any foods that […]
Texas Football and The Five Stages of Grief
I hate football. Okay, that’s a little dramatic, so let’s make that I hate watching football with my husband. Specifically, any game that features the University of Texas. Good Lord, it’s like experiencing the five […]
Cookbook Love
Settle in my friends because it’s time for me to do a deep dive into one of my favorite topics – how technology is robbing people of living a full life. To illustrate this point, […]
Tablescapes Confuse Me
I’m a little dismayed about what I’ve been seeing on social media in regards to Thanksgiving. A good two weeks ago I started gazing at oodles of Thanksgiving posts and not a one was about […]
The College Application Process Then and Now
I’m longing for the good old days. The days when applying to college wasn’t a three-ring circus of hoops to jump through, academic acrobatics and so many common app essays that you could fill a […]
Dear Snarky – My Mom Is Dressing Like a Teenager
Dear Snarky, I feel like my sister and I need to do an intervention about how our mother dresses. She is almost 60 and wears clothes that our way too young for her. It’s like […]
Generation Slob
Are we raising a generation of slobs? I’m asking this question after I had a somewhat depressing discussion with my teenage daughter. Her high school had to suspend “North Time” which is an hour in […]
Dear Snarky – It’s My Birthday Cake and I’ll Whine If I Want To
Dear Snarky, Everyone at my office now hates me. I’m the executive assistant to the president of a very small company and one of my jobs is being the party planner for special events like […]
Falling In Love
It finally happened. The day I had been lusting for since mid-July arrived. Last week, the temperature mercifully dropped to 49 degrees. My joy was boundless, my enthusiasm unrestrained. I celebrated in the traditional fashion […]
They’re Back . . . Fall Fashion Fiascos
Faithful readers may remember that back in the spring I wrote a column about women’s fashions and the alarming trend of the huge bell sleeve blouses and off the shoulder tops. I also proclaimed that […]
I’m Having a Senior Moment
What in the name of all that is holy has happened to high school graduation photos? Remember getting your senior portrait taken back in the day? You shuffled into the gym where the P.E. teacher, […]
Dear Snarky – I Got Flipped-Flopped At My Office
Dear Snarky, I think I might be getting fired. Last week we had an office retreat and the facilitator asked everyone in the group to name one thing that would improve the workplace and I […]
I Need A Millennial!
“I need a millennial!” That’s my work battle cry at least twice a day. (To be specific I need a younger millennial. Sorry, but you older 80s baby millennials just don’t have the same tech […]
Dear Snarky I Went to a Fundraiser Disguised as a Wedding
Dear Snarky, I’m sure I just got robbed. My friend got married last weekend and it was a joke. She had 4 bridal showers where I had to pony up a present and then I […]
College Tours – Journey Of The Damned
Praise be to the gods of higher education! I have gone on my last college tour or to more accurately describe it a death march. In fact, I would like my obituary to read “and […]
Waterlogged
There are two kinds of people – those who can gracefully get on a pool float and those who can’t. In a surprise to probably no one I’m on “Team Can’t. “ It doesn’t matter […]
Dear Snarky – I Don’t Want My Nephew In My Daughter’s Class
Dear Snarky, I think I need to get my nephew out of my daughter’s third grade class. The problem isn’t my sweet nephew. It’s his mother – my sister-in-law. She’s the most competitive person I […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 