Dear Snarky – We’ve Got Issues

Aah, summer where the living is easy except if you’re in the middle of an August heat wave BUT the heat did give me a good excuse to expediently tackle three summer hot topics. Ready, set, go!

Dear Snarky,

 My daughter has a friend who is allegedly gluten and lactose intolerant and her mom makes a big deal about it at school parties and play dates and yet yesterday I saw the kid and her mom eating  cheeseburgers and drinking milk shakes at McDonalds. Should I call her out on her hypocrisy?

 Signed, Oh No You Didn’t

Dear Oh No,

Mind you own freaking business. You’re not the food police. I know it’s going to be hard but resist the urge to stir up drama. 

 Dear Snarky,

I know my friend’s kids are peeing in my pool because they never ask to go inside and use the restroom. When I shared my suspicions my friend got angry and told her kids to get out of the pool and left.

 How does she feel that she has the right to be angry it’s my pool getting peed in?

 Signed, Upset

Dear Upset,

 What did you want your friend to do offer up her kids for a CSI level urine forensics? Here’s a pro tip- quit inviting people over for a swim and then lobbying accusations at them.

 Dear Snarky,

 Every time we vacation with my husband’s family we always get stuck paying more than our fair share. You name it from groceries for the condo to eating out it’s like we are subsidizing the vacation. How can we stop this?

 Signed, Going Broke

Dear Broke,

The solution is simple. Quit vacationing with family that repeatedly takes advantage of you. The fact that you let this happen multiple times is beyond ridiculous. Close your wallet now and practice saying “We’ve made other vacation plans.”

Dear Snarky – My MIL Is Mocking My No Lactose/Gluten/Sugar Lifestyle

Dear Snarky,

My mother-in-law is being a huge jerk! I have put my family on a gluten, sugar and lactose free diet and I sent her an email to get rid of any foods that fit into those categories when we come to visit for Christmas. She replied and said she would need proof from a doctor that the diet was a “medical necessity” before she “ruined” Christmas.

I’m furious. I don’t need a doctor’s permission to cut crap out of my kids’ diets. Furthermore, who does she think she is the food police? I told my husband we’re either not going or staying in a hotel? The worst part is he’s taking his mother’s side and telling me to “chill out.” I’m thinking of just blowing the whole thing up and staying home. I’m I right about this?

Signed, Healthy Mama

Dear Healthy,

 As a sugar loving fiend, I must confess that right now I love your mother in law. #slayer. But, I’m going to put my long-term relationship with desserts aside to help you out. Here’s my sugar-free advice. You were a jerk to send your mother-in-law an email telling her to pretty much empty her kitchen out. There were much better ways to coordinate meals that fit your new dietary guidelines than being a diva. As for calling your mother-in-law the “food police” may I suggest you look in the mirror.

 Here’s what I think is happening. You don’t like your mother in law and you’re ticked about having to spend Christmas with “that side of the family” so, to use a parenting term, you’re acting out. You need to buck up, do some grocery shopping once you get to your mother-in-law’s, adhere to your eating plan without creating a scene, and not ruin your children’s Christmas. This whole thing is not about your new diet it’s about control and I suggest you control yourself.

*If you have a question for Dear Snarky – 21st Century Advice With an Attitude 😉 – email me at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com or PM on my Snarky FB page.