Dear Snarky, My niece announced to the family that she wants to run for public office and quite frankly a lot of us think it might just be the worst idea ever. She’s young, has […]
Author: snarkyinthesuburbs
Team Spirit
I confess to being a nervous and some might say irritating football fan. I blame it on the fact that I’m a mother because all I want is for everyone to have fun and not […]
The College Admission Dumpster Fire
Colleges need an overhaul. Let’s start with the expense. A four year degree from an in-state school can now cost more than $100,000. Once upon a time going to a public university in your home […]
A Psychological Study of School Pick Up and Drop Off
There are many things in this world that perplex me like how did jackfruit become a culinary trend? Have you tried cutting open a jackfruit? I swear brain surgery is probably less labor intensive and […]
Hybrid Hysteria
I understand the beauty of a hybrid. When you take the best characteristics from one group and blend them with another, often incongruous, category you sometimes achieve genius. But more often than not these mismatches […]
Help Me! I’m a Halloween Hoarder
I consider myself an exemplary purger. Way before everyone hopped aboard the Marie Kondo declutter train I was the master (due to multiple moves) of “If I haven’t used or thought about an item in a year […]
Dear Snarky – My Boss is Spying on Me With a Doggie Cam
Dear Snarky, I work for a very small company and my co-workers and I just discovered the owner is spying on us. She brings her dogs to work and has set up several treat dispensers […]
On Air and Scared
Never say never. In my wildest dream there’s one thing I thought I would absolutely not be doing again and that’s co-hosting an hour-long live TV show. Back in the day, like way back in […]
Dear Snarky – My Mom and Mother-In-Law Have Turned Grandparenting Into a Competitive Sport
Dear Snarky, My mom and mother-in-law are driving me crazy. They’re both very competitive and my kids are always in the middle of their tug-of-wars as they try to one up each other. For example, […]
California Dreaming
I feel like I’ve wrestled a Sasquatch. I’m not kidding every bone in my body is sore and as for my mental state well, it’s questionable. The culprit for my misery is driving to California […]
Straws I Just Can’t Quit You
I’ve seen the future and it’s straw free. Well, to be accurate plastic straw free. I had this epiphany when I was on the West Coast and discovered that plastic straws were verboten. I was okay […]
Dear Snarky – Help! The Bride Has Demanded All of Her Bridesmaids Go on the Keto Diet
Dear Snarky, Is there a nice way to get out of being a bridesmaid in wedding without saying, “F off!” My cousin is getting married in December and she told all five of her bridesmaids […]
My Appliances Hate Me
“They don’t make things like they used to.” Now, congratulate me for officially sounding old. Don’t worry it won’t hurt my feelings because my kids have been roasting me for a week about “channeling their […]
My Smart TV Outsmarted Me
I’m recovering from a personal journey that tested me in ways I’ve never been tested before. There were times when I was scared, bewildered, angry and tear stained. I ranted at the world and shouted […]
Dear Snarky – We’ve Got Issues
Aah, summer where the living is easy except if you’re in the middle of an August heat wave BUT the heat did give me a good excuse to expediently tackle three summer hot topics. Ready, […]
Dear Snarky – I’m Conflicted About Attending My High School Reunion
Dear Snarky, I keep changing my mind about going to my high school reunion. I wasn’t exactly the popular type and the people I want to keep up with I do so through social media. […]
What Watching Three Episodes of “The Bachelorette” Taught Me
I’ve been educated by watching “The Bachelorette.” Yes, I know that sounds strange especially coming from someone who is a prude and is this close to identifying as a Duggar because wearing a loose fitting […]
Memory Lane Slapped Me in the Face
Sometimes memories gently lull you and sometimes they slap you in the face in the most unlikely places. I never would have thought a trip to Nashville, a city I have zero emotional connection to, […]
Dear Snarky – Pool Pirrarah
Dear Snarky, I need your help getting back at a friend who pulled what I consider a pretty mean stunt. Last week I had 4 girlfriends and their kids come over for a low-key pool […]
Busted – Do I Love My Family Enough to Live With Them on a Bus?
I love my family very much. But, true confession time here; I don’t love them enough to spend a year in a school bus with them. And by spending a year I mean actually living […]
Dear Snarky – Say Hello to the Prize Police
Dear Snarky, I’m in charge of our neighborhood’s Fourth of July parade and I’m getting some serious attitude from other people on my committee. In the past we have given out ribbons for best bike […]
Snakes in Pool Noodles – Are You Kidding Me?!!
Summer is fraught with peril. Around every sunshiny corner danger lurks. Nothing is safe – not even something as innocuous and innocent as a rainbow-hued pool noodle. Yes, a pool noodle is officially an instrument […]
Dear Snarky – I Have a Trash Peeping Neighbor
Dear Snarky, I have a neighbor that is so nosy she is literally going through my family’s trash cans. I have seen her many times looking at our trash after we take it to the […]
Buried Alive In Laundry
Laundry had taken over my life. I’m used to the rhythm of my day including at least one load of laundry but what was different was that my laundry had morphed from the humdrum of […]
Dear Snarky – Church Camp Went Straight to Hell Before It Even Started
Dear Snarky, My daughter has been excited about going to summer sleep away church camp since we signed her up for it in January. I recently found out that she won’t be bunking with her […]
Talk Blocked By the Thrones/Avenger Universe
For the first time in my life I feel decidedly disconnected from the majority of humanity. I, a woman who loves to talk, have recently had zero to contribute to almost any conversation. Over the […]
It Wasn’t Pretty But I Did It
It seemed so scary and intimidating. Every time I would walk by the room I tried to avert my eyes but I couldn’t help but peek in. It’s weirdness called to me. What was this […]
Dear Snarky – Field Day Dumb Assery
Dear Snarky, I feel like I’m being extorted! There are two moms at my children’s school who think running Field Day is right up there with curing cancer. The emails and group texts have been […]
The 80s Lady is Back!
It’s spring that means it’s time for me to deliver my seasonal fashion rant. (Just as a FYI I’m still not over the bell sleeve uprising of 2018.) But, this time instead of a rant […]
I’m High On Grass
I have an addiction. I knew things had gotten bad when I received a text at 6:45 on a Wednesday morning. It was from my supplier. She wrote in all caps that if I wanted […]
Not Cool – The Saga of My (sort of) AC Free Childhood
Do you ever have times in your life when you feel like you’ve forsaken the profound teachings and dictates of your parents? It can be a very unsettling feeling. It’s almost like you’re cheating on […]
Dear Snarky – WTH on a College Reveal Party?
Dear Snarky, What is wrong with people? I say this while staring at an invitation to a college reveal party. I didn’t even know what the hell that was until I goggled it and found […]
I Have Pothole Superpowers (Yeah, not as good as flying or invisibility but I’ll take what I can get.)
I’ve discovered I have a super power. I’m “Pothole Woman.” It seems I’m equipped with an inner GPS that no matter where I’m driving I somehow manage to encounter the biggest, more gnarly potholes. It’s […]
Dear Snarky – My Best Friend Is a Mean Girl Mom
Dear Snarky, I have recently broken off a longstanding friendship with a woman because her daughter is a total mean girl bitch to my daughter (both our girls go to the same middle school). My […]
Travel Chill
As I’m writing this I’m a mere 12 hours into recovery after spending almost a month traveling. I had short stops at home but for the most part I’ve been bopping back between the East and […]
My Journey of Self Discovery Took a Detour at Bangs and a Spray Tan
I’ve just experienced two life-changing events. What has happened to me recently has totally turned my world upside down. Things I thought were bad turned out to be good maybe even great. All of this has […]
I’m Still Suffering From School Project PTSD
I recently walked into a Michaels craft store and had a post-traumatic stress episode so intense I had to grab onto a shopping cart for support. Trust me, I don’t have anything against Michaels. What […]
Cheating Our Children
At my age I considered myself almost “unsuprisable.” It takes a lot for me to be shocked most especially in the category of asinine human behavior but the recent college admission cheating scandal had me […]
Squirelly Anxiety
People telling me that I should be anxious is making me anxious. Apparently, Americans are in a very anxious state or at least that’s what I’m hearing, seeing and reading. I did a Google search […]
Filters: Good and Good for You
I’m going to throw my personal vanity aside in an attempt to address a growing societal problem – people with no filters. Here are two examples from the past several days of people free ranging […]
Outsmarted By an Air Mattress
I have met my white whale. My quest to vanquish an enormous, intimidating beast was fraught with peril and, sadly, heart breaking defeat. I swear I gave it everything I had. I wrestled. I punched. […]
Dear Snarky – Revenge of the Spray Tan
Dear Snarky, I’m writing this letter to you while I’m orange. Yes, orange because I was given a spray tan by a FRIEND who, out of spite, turned me orange. The back-story is I started […]
I’m Going to Insta So Hard
Brace yourself because I’m attempting to become “Insta Famous.” This, for those of you truly blessed and more enlightened individuals who steer clear of social media, is when a non celebrity with a zero fan base […]
Advice. I’ve Got It. Who Needs It?
A friend recently asked me what advice I gave my daughter right before she graduated high school. I laughed and said she wasn’t exactly into taking advice during that time period. She had just turned […]
Nailed It
Do you ever lay in bed at night and wonder where your day went? Then you mentally review what you did and experience a sense of shame that you spent an entire hour looking at […]
Be Careful – I’m Packing
If only going out-of-town didn’t require packing a suitcase. I love traveling. I just hate packing for that travel. It’s not that I stink at packing. I like to think I’m pretty good at it. […]
Dear Snarky – Help, I Work With Slobs!
Dear Snarky, I work for a super hip company that has no dress code and everyday I’m literally picking my jaw up from the floor when I see what people wear to work. There’s men […]
Wanted: A Career as a Professional “Namer”
I finally know what I want to do with my life. Yes, it took a while and most certainly my career meandered through many twists, turns, and some cavernous sink holes but today I’m going […]
New Year’s Resolutions – File That Under Never Going to Happen
The first week of January is always irritating. You keep forgetting that it’s a freaking new year and you have to endure people’s social media proclamations what their New Year’s resolutions are. My favorite are […]
Holiday Shopping Puzzlers
I actually enjoy holiday shopping but sadly my family has ruined it for me. Now, I get lists where all I have do is point and click to their on-line shopping bag. Efficient? Yes. Fun? […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 