Dear Snarky – I’m Conflicted About Attending My High School Reunion

Dear Snarky,

 I keep changing my mind about going to my high school reunion. I wasn’t exactly the popular type and the people I want to keep up with I do so through social media. But, I’m feeling a lot of pressure to go and I’m afraid if I don’t go I’ll experience a bad case of FOMO. But I’m afraid if I do I’ll regret it and all those old feelings of not belonging and being judged will come rushing back.

 I had almost convinced myself to do it until I got a group email from our class president, who was a huge jerk to me all through high school, and just seeing his name made me nauseous.

 My friends and co-workers say I should go because I have nothing to lose and could have a great time. What do you think?

 Signed, Hesitant

Dear Hesitant,

 High school reunions can be a mental minefield. The key is to not put so much pressure on the experience. In its simplest terms it’s a get together from back-in-the day.

 Basically, if you want to reconnect with your high school buddies – go. If you want to strut your awesome self in everyone’s face – go. If you want to do a contrast and compare of your former classmates to see how their social media personas stacks up to real life – go. If you want to post a bunch of photos on Instagram of you at the reunion with the #BestTimeEver – go. If your fear of missing out is so great it’s causing you anxiety – go.

 But trust me it’s not going to be like in a movie where you show up and through a series of twist and turns discover the balm that soothes your old high school wounds. You might ending having a ho hum time, a bad time or even the time of your life. You just have to weigh how much you want to see your former classmates and factor in the possibility that it could be not so awesome and than ask yourself is it worth it?

If you do decide to go I suggest the buddy method. Team up with a friend and even if the reunion is a bust think about all the fun you’ll have gossiping about your classmates.

If you have a question for Dear Snarky – advice with an attitude – email me at 😉

9 thoughts on “Dear Snarky – I’m Conflicted About Attending My High School Reunion

  1. Janey P. says:

    I wouldn’t go. High school reunions are sooooo overrated and if just seeing an email made you feel sick it won’t be worth it. Do something fun and stress fun that weekend instead.

  2. Darcelle Carlson says:

    I hesitated to go to mine as well. Once I got there I was amazed to find that I enjoyed myself. A little (okay more than a little) liquid courage helped to get over the initial shyness. I made I had a buddy to sit with.

  3. Tim Petzold says:

    I would go just to face down your all too powerful fears. The euphoria of successfully meeting them head on will far outweigh; and outlast the white knuckling leading up to the “Happy Hour” .
    Who knows? You may even catch a snooty classmate lying about their age!

  4. Ef sweeney says:

    I was similarly conflicted.I decided to go and had a great time. I think you should go if you have at least a few people you would enjoy seeing. I really enjoyed those people but was also surprised to find out that some of the guys who seem like the biggest jerks in high school had somehow matured, married nice spouses and were extremely courteous and friendly. It probably depends on how far out you are from high school as to how people have changed. There were also some people there that I thought were very nerdy in high school and who I now realize were just very interesting but out of the mainstream people. I had been too shallow to realize their unique characteristics. I think if you go and look for those people you will feel rewarded .

  5. Eastcoastgal says:

    Like the letter writer I was not treated well in high school. I was an outcast in every sense of the word. I was called abominable names and bullied because I was a non-conformist. I have been out of high school close to 40 years and I have never been to a class reunion. I’ve only been invited to one because nobody has my address and I like it that way. Someone did reach out to me through Classmates about 4 months before the last reunion. I am on Classmates so seldom that I saw the notice 3 months after the reunion took place. I want nothing to do with the people I went to high school with. The best part for me is that I now live over 1000 miles away and since I have no family left in that area, I have no reason to go back there.

    I agree with Janey P. since that email made you feel sick, don’t go. You are in contact with the people you want to be in contact with. Why not get together with them and have an UN-reunion on the same day?

  6. rachel m says:

    I have been to several reunions. at 10 yrs, all the cliques are still in place. at 20 years, it wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t worth it though. stay home, especially if just thinking about it is giving you anxiety.

    • Sandy Cresci says:

      The 10 year is interesting because you can satisfy curiosity. 20th is boring because you just don’t care. After that no reason. Just go, see what’s up and if you’re not enjoying yourself just leave. It’s not high school – you don’t have to wait for the bell to ring to go home!😃

  7. Scott says:

    Ugh. They’re holding my high school reunion on a cruise. NO THANKS! I opted out. Key West for me instead. Me and the hubby for a week of tropical bliss.

  8. irreverendt says:

    Try this…if you are on social media but have no close friends from school then what is the harm of doing a little fabrication. Come up with a whopper of a story as to why you can’t be there. Embellish daily with comments on your up coming ,trip, event, what ever. Top it off with a “memories” letter for your classmates to read when attending. Best time spent not going!

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