A Psychological Study of School Pick Up and Drop Off

There are many things in this world that perplex me like how did jackfruit become a culinary trend? Have you tried cutting open a jackfruit? I swear brain surgery is probably less labor intensive and gooey.

The mystery of the jackfruit, though intriguing because I believe it has an alien back story, is no match in the bewilderment department for the enigma that is school drop off and pick up. Why is it so hard for parents to grasp the fundamentals of delivering and retrieving their kids to and from school?

I, with much gratitude, have not had to endure a school drop off and pick up line in three years. But, for my friends with younger children lately the school drop off rage has been intense. Because I fancy myself a social scientist (not a busy body thank you very much) I decided to observe three school drop off lines at three separate schools.

My mission was to gauge if the situation has gotten worse since my school driving days or were these parents just being drama queens. I’ll honestly tell you I was totally thinking drama queens because there’s no way school pick up and drop off parental stupidity could have descended even lower. It was in the caverns of of hell during my tenure and I was adamant that it had nowhere to go but up.

I was wrong.

Frankly, I don’t even know where to begin. I’m still a little shaken by the whole experiment. I think my biggest take away is that people’s reading comprehension skills have taken a serious hit.

That’s the only polite explanation I can come up with for a large swath of adults not understanding signage that plainly states “no parking,” “beginning of drop off/pick up line,” and “pull forward.” These are not even sentences but three and four word directives at a first grade reading level. Surely parents should be able to understand their meaning.

But to blame the whole school pick up/drop off quagmire solely on reading skills would be a mistake because the real issue is psychological. To fully understand the issue you have to probe a parent’s brain. Why, for instance, are some parents adamant about not pulling forward in the line?

In the name of scientific research I asked one mother who was not pulling up this question and she made a face while stating in a very unpleasant tone that she was waiting for her kids.

I queried back with, “But couldn’t you wait for your kids pulled up a little further in the line?” This earned me a window being rolled up in my face.

I didn’t blame her because I knew I had hit a nerve. Her car was perched almost perfectly in front of the school’s front doors and there was no way she was going to let her babies (full disclosure this happened at a middle school) walk any further than they had to.

Which takes us to another layer of a parent’s psychological make up. Why do we get our kids fitness trackers, $300 Apple watches and sign them up for loads of sports activities and then swoon at the thought of them having to walk more than 20 yards to the family car?

Armed with my research I went home and tried to formulate a reasonable explanation for the seemingly growing number of parents who freelance with the established school pick up/drop off protocol. The only thing I could come up with is that for some parents the “rules never apply to me” must be a family motto.

The best suggestion I have is that they get those feelings emblazoned on a bumper sticker so the rest of the parents know who to avoid every morning and afternoon.

(For more education on this topic I urge you to read this highly formative guide for the school drop off and pick up procedure https://snarkyinthesuburbs.com/2011/03/25/10-steps-to-a-successful-school-drop-off/)

4Comments

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1

Mom of free-range kids on October 21, 2019 at 11:13 am

I make my kid walk to school. By himself. Actually, he’s good with it. It even gives him some status with his friends (“My mom never lets me go anywhere by myself!”). I can’t fathom why my neighbor down the street insists on driving her kid about 450 yards to school around the corner. She’s also a devil in the drop off line!
2

Ann in Atlanta on October 21, 2019 at 2:00 pm

OMG! Love this! I, too, have “graduated” from the carpool lines of middle school and early high school but I remember the frustration and sheer bewilderment of those afternoons (and some mornings – WHY does it take SO long for kids to exit the flipping car?!?). Would have loved to have slapped a few of these puppies on the offenders’ vehicles back in those days! Thanks for the chuckle. L&L from Atlanta
3

irreverendt on October 21, 2019 at 2:06 pm

I would go even one step further than the previous comment…let (make) them ride the bus.
4

Angry Parent on October 21, 2019 at 7:54 pm

School drop off and pick up lines are the WORST! What is it that makes parents so dumb or feel so entitled? There’s a doctor who drops her kids off every morning and by the attitude she has in the drop off line I’m thinking, “Bitch, there’s no way I want you as my doctor.” Same for the guy who owns a landscaping company and drops his kids off. His company’s logo in on his truck and it’s a horrible advertisement for his business. If how he negotiates the school drop off line is any indication of his business style – hard pass.