10) Conversation has been known to stop when you walk into a room. 9) “Go To” person for anyone having PTA, neighbor or coworker problems. 8) Believe revenge is a dish best served with a […]
3 Things I Learned at Target on New Year’s Eve
Like any good middle-aged, middle class female I’m at Target on New Year’s Eve on a quest to pick through the last of the holiday clearance. It’s in these hallowed four aisles of discount Christmas […]
Snarky Writes a Book
It almost killed me – I’m talking worse than an epidural that stopped working midway through labor – but I finally finished my book! You may think writing the book was the hard part, but […]
Book Preview
Dear Snarky Readers, You may have noticed that I haven’t posted anything new in quite some time. The reason for this – I’m on the last week of finishing my book. Finally, right? I’ve only been […]
HGTV You’re Killing Me
Plagued by guilt because I haven’t posted the end to Snarky Saves the World just yet here is little something new in the form of a post I did for The Detailed Decorator site last month. […]
Snarky Saves the World – The Finale
Long time no see Snarky readers. Sorry for the delay, but my summer has been demanding, which is a good thing because oh the stories I have to tell. Let’s get the Snarky & Aliens […]
Snarky Goes to Pre-School
Finding the right pre-school for your child is the first step in your journey of micro-managing every educational aspect of your kid’s life. When they’re 3 you’re interviewing child care directors and pursuing the nap […]
Snarky Saves the World Part 3
Thanks everyone for putting up with me indulging my summer fantasy of being an action adventure heroine. I promise I’ll be back to some real life Snarky soon. Now, let’s get to the part about […]
Snarky Saves the World Part 2
The finger nails on a chalkboard civil defense siren had brought everyone who was left at the school to the basement. It was a mixed bag of parents, school staff and kids. Everyone congregated into […]
Snarky Saves the World Part 1
Based on my real life with some very ill-mannered aliens thrown in. It’s only the first month of summer and so far I’ve sat through a trio of action adventure movies. It’s not that I […]
Technically Annoying
I’m not a Luddite. I don’t eschew technology. I, by no means, dream of being Wilma Flintstone and using a baby wooly mammoth as a vacuum cleaner. I don’t know a lot about wooly mammoths, […]
Hot Mom Problems
On occasion I like to open up my Snarky site to a guest blogger so they can share their thoughts. I was approached last week by a woman who thought I was incredibly unkind to […]
The Reverse Stubing – Part 3
You’ll be relieved to know the whole me in disguise scenario was quickly abandoned. Nikki, diplomatically pointed out that my, “Personality was too unique to camouflage.” What she really meant was my fat ass, but […]
The Reverse Stubing – Part 2
I judge a person by two things. If they like dogs and television. If it’s a no to either of those then not only can we never be friends, but I really will never trust […]
The Reverse Stubing – Part 1
If you want to see ugly go to an elementary school spring style show. Relax, I’m not talking about the 7-year-old girls “modeling” adorable Easter dresses. I’m talking about the moms. You have two tiers of […]
Mrs. Snarky’s Neighborhood
Many of you have asked me where I live. For all you know we could be neighbors and chances are if there is a middle-aged mom next door that enjoys a 32 ounce Diet Coke […]
Avoid These Elves
Where would Christmas be without elves? There is no way Santa could do all he does without them. Even non-North Pole elves are amazing. Why just look at the Keebler elves they’re uncommonly good. I […]
Black Friday – The End Is Near
If there was one thing to get me shopping on Black Friday it would be Kohl’s cash. At my previous destinations it was all about the people watching. At Kohl’s I was ready to consummate […]
Black Friday – Part 3
I was like Dorothy in the Wizard of the Oz, but instead of chanting “There’s no place like home,” I was chanting, “There’s no place like Target.” I knew my favorite retailer wouldn’t let me […]
Black Friday – Part 2
As I approached the Walmart parking lot I grew concerned for mankind. Did I miss the celestial memo that the Rapture was near? It looked like God sent out a status update on Facebook telling […]
Black Friday Part 1
It was time to lose my Black Friday virginity. I had heard about this mega shopping day for years, but had always been saving myself for Cyber Monday. Like any big milestone in your life […]
Payback
Here’s a Snarky throwback. Ah, the tale of revenge I got on Katie Kirkpatrick. Years have gone by but this still brings a smile to my face. Enjoy. If I can teach you anything it […]
Parent Teacher Conference – By the Numbers
The Parent Teacher Conference is one you either look forward to because your seven-year-old little bundle of joy is reading at a college level thus providing you with the opportunity to sit back, sniff an […]
Rantober
In a shock to no one I’m ranting again. My Halloween candy stash has been forcibly removed from my home. At first I thought it would be a good idea. A Pre-Halloween cleanse, if you […]
8 New Holidays For Moms
As mothers we get one holiday a year that’s just for us. What a serious rip-off. Think about what we accomplish everyday. If men had to walk in our shoes they would be, of course, […]
The Talk
No mother looks forward to having “the talk” with her daughter, but alas, it’s something that can’t be put off or avoided forever. So this past weekend I sat my almost 11-year-old down for that […]
Reunion Revenge
High school reunions are powered by the rocket fuel called curiosity. We go to see how our peers have aged, what their financial status seems to be, who’s married, who’s not, who looks happy and […]
I Hate People – Part 3
I know I’ve complained repeatedly about my feelings regarding waterparks.(See 9 Much Needed Waterpark Improvements and Excuse Me There’s a Turd in the Wavepool.) A reasonable person would think that I had exhausted all my […]
I Hate People – Part 2
Captain’s log, Stardate: 7232011 – This is the last voyage of the family ship – WTF. Under my command we have secured a rental transport unit and are proceeding to our final vacation destination. As […]
I Hate People
God, I hate people. There’s nothing like a couple of weeks on the road to solidify my raging dislike of a hefty portion of the human race. People are beyond annoying and I eagerly lump […]
Snarky’s Guide to Hosting An Event
Ah, summer, a brief respite from the flurry of fund-raising events that will soon start clogging my fall calendar. Do I attend all these events because I am the essence of popularity? Um no. I […]
Family Reunions – A Journey to Hell
Reunions are a combination of an I.R.S. audit and being a contestant in a beauty pageant. You get a financial shake down by virtual strangers and your appearance is judged by people who still wear […]
8 Much Needed Waterpark Improvements
A Waterpark, at first glance, is all fun in the sun. You splash, you slide, you tube, you get cooled off. But anyone who has ever spent more than ten minutes at one knows that, […]
P90X – Bite Me!
Who hasn’t been snuggled in bed, changing channels, and seen the P9OX commercial. Now, if you’re one those extraordinarily awesome humans that don’t have a TV in your bedroom because you believe in using your […]
School – Back Off!
I have yet to see the first full week of summer in my rearview mirror and already I’ve received e-mails, texts and two letters informing me of all the over the summer work required of […]
Bring It Summer!
Summer is a heavy season. It’s laden with humidity that gives you a big ole slimy bear hug all day long and likes you so much it wants to lay on top of you through […]
The Bestest Divorce Ever
I want a divorce. Really, really badly and right now. Here’s why. Sunday I’m at the grocery store and see a “sort of” friend in the cereal aisle. At first I don’t recognize her. I […]
5 Ways to Improve Facebook
Facebook needs to be put in a timeout. No, it hasn’t done anything that naughty. Well, there is that whole privacy issue thing. But, this timeout is so FB can listen to some advice from […]
A Middle Aged Woman’s Birthday Oath
Today’s my birthday and I’ll whine if I want to. To commemorate getting another year less young I will commence with the annual reciting of this oath. Feel free to join in. I do swear […]
The School Newsletter I Would Like to Read
I’ve been in the elementary school trenches for a decade and counting. Out of those ten years, eight have been spent on some kind of Parent Teacher board and three of those years I was […]
10 Steps to a Successful School Drop Off
Well, you asked for it. So here it is – An Idiot’s Guide to Dropping Your Kids Off at School. 1) If you feel the need to “make out” with your children before letting them out […]
Skied To Death
Skiing is a not so very coordinated big girl’s friend. What’s not to love about an activity where you’ve got gravity doing most of the work for you. You point those skis and down you […]
When Bunko Is Code for Bible Study
*This post is one of the first I wrote for my blog when I started over-sharing. I’m re-running it because tonight I’m going back to Bunko. Let’s hope it’s improved – greatly. Bunko is a […]
Middle Aged Tweens
Being forced against my will to see the Justin Beiber movie “Never Say Never” unleashed a flood of repressed memories from the pre-tween concerts I have been guilted into attending for the past several years. I […]
The Un-Valentine – The New Sexy
Give it up ladies, most men are not romantic and it’s time we stop pressuring them to be something that they’re just not very good at and really have zero natural talent for. Guys abhor […]
My Naughty Valentine
Valentine’s Day is a celebration designed to make woman feel bad about themselves, their significant other or a combination there of. That’s why I believe that cupid is really an angry baby Satan with a […]
I’m Going to the Superbowl – As a Stripper!
This post was written in 2011 when the Steelers played the Packers in the Superbowl in Dallas. You may have heard, because of the Superbowl this weekend, there is a stripper (oops, sorry make that […]
Let’s Just All Agree We Suck at Parenting and Move On
I think every parent should have two primary goals to achieve while raising children. Your first and most important goal – your kids don’t kill you in your sleep. My personal fear is that my […]
Where Evil Lurks – The Comment Section of Parenting Websites
One of the things that confuses me about being a parent (and trust me there are many) is that we expect our kids to behave better than we do. For example, last week at the […]
Already Annoyed
Sure, I eat bitter for breakfast, but I thought I could hold off on my 2011 annoyances until, say, at least February, unfortunately no can do. I blame Snookie. She set me off. Good God […]
Snarky in the Suburbs 